can anyone help me correct some of my mistakes and here are my short story that i have to make up for a novel.It called the "gathering blue" 23 chapters

Chapter 24(short story make up for the novel gathering blue)

Kira noticed for the first time how frighten was she when she saw Jamison in her room. Who was touching on the singer robe. “Oh! There you are my precious robe fixer. Remember I told you that near future you will thread you own story on the blank part shoulder of the robe. We will tell you the story that us Guardian wanted to thread on it. The story… ” Jamison continued on talking but interrupted by Kira angry voice
“Cannot I thread my own story on the robe? Why it have to be the guardian to decide which story to write on it.”

Jamison put his hands on Kira shoulder to calm her down. “Relax Kira of course it will be the story you will be thread but we had to make a story that matches stories on the robe. I will give you further instructions tomorrow. Why don’t you get some rest tonight,” He said it in a very soft voice.
“I am sorry for being rude to you, there are so many thoughts going on in my mind, and I was really confused.” She said.
“Ah! Do not worry about it if there are anything you were concerning , I will listen to it tomorrow. For now I think it best for you to get some rest.” He said it as he closing the door.
There was a deadly silence Kira look outside the window and she saw a full moon tonight. The brightness of light through her window it makes her room so bright with light. Everything seems so quiet and peaceful at night. The memories of the past lead to the better future. The future will become the past as time was passing by. Kira’s eyes were slowly close, as they wanted to shut as fast as they could but Kira still wanted to look at the full moon. There was a knock on Kira door, “Kira are you still awake.” Thomas whisper and he is opening the door.
“What you up to? I bring a guest with me.” He said. Jo slowly approach behind him.
“How you get out of the room isn’t it locked?” Kira asked in a very surprise tone.
“Jo was very bore inside the room everyday and Jo wanted some fresh air,” Jo said in a childish tone.
“That is why I bring her to your room since only the three of us are having this amazing ability. We are different than the other and that is why we got treated with the best.” Thomas said
“I promise my father I will change this village future. I do not know if I will able to do it or not. Such a task and I only have little help with these little two hands.” She sighed
“ I think you will able to do it don’t you worry everything will be fine. Why don’t we listen to our princess Jo singing her new song to us?” He said it tiredly.
Jo started to sang Kira and Thomas both of them listen they also repeated after Jo voice . They were laughing and dancing under the full moon. They were dancing in circle and with a smile of their face. Things around them and time seem to be frozen. Thomas and Jo walk to the door ready to return to their room.
“It getting late we must return and get some rest there will be new work waiting for us tomorrow. You too Kira you don’t try so hard on yourself.” Thomas said tiredly.
She watched both of them holding hands and opens the door. The two of them are like a sibling.
“Kira you are not alone, you got us we will help you with everything we have. I got this phase in a book that said ONE FOR ALL AND ALL FOR ONE you will change the future.” He said happily.
“Don’t you mean us.” Kira smiled.
“Yup! We and include our buddy Matt too.” As the door closing
Kira lay on the bed she began to have a dream a happy dream a dream that started with her favor color. The dream started with a blue sky, while she sleeps soundly and she was saying “I am not alone because there are three best friends are with me”
the end
What is your first language? I'm afraid there would be too many corrections and the story would have to be written again. Do you think this may be too ambitious an undertaking?Why not write less and try to be more careful. Good luck.
my first language is vietnamese , yea i think i will try to write a little less more easy to correct my mistake