You have left me alone with memories.

Still I love you.
I cannot forget the nongiven kisses.
The never seen smiles.
The never touched smoothness of your skin.

I cannot forget the urgency of your words:

"Hurry my love!
Come quickly to see me.
I will be yours forever and you will be mine."

But now you are gone.
Struck lifeless by car at the Nanning airport where you waited anxiously for me.
Not caring to look both ways because you believed I had failed you again.

In Beijing I was detained.
But you knew it not.
Led astray to gates where no plane ever came.
Tickets promised that were never issued.

You waited in vain and then died.
Cursed me with your dying breath.
Cursed the love that you never should have granted me.

"Ping is dead.'
It is that simple. "
Your friend said:

"And she cursed you before she died!
Always remember that!"

Now silent is the world again without you.
My eyes are scorched from weeping.
My heart beats with reluctance.
I awaken each day to a sunless world.

I am a shapeless shadow.
A mindless ephemeral seeking the evanescence of death.

Who am I to have survived you my love?
For what cause am I permitted to live my queen?

You were all I had and will ever have.
You will be my true love forever.
My beautiful, lovely, precious Ping.
Is this based on fact? Haunting.
It just happened to me a few days ago.
I am still in deep despair and grief.
Teachers: We supply a list of EFL job vacancies
Where are you fromRadrook? Recovering?
Hi David!

I am from the United States.

Yes, I am having difficulty recovering because this was so sudden and unexpected that it was like a devastating explosion coming out of nowhwre. Worse yet is that her friends and family blame me for her death. They refuse to have any further contac with me.

So I am experiencing great distress since on top of losing her I feel the burden of contributing to her death with my accursed hesitations and inability to get to her at the exact time promised. Actually, I would have preferred to die instead. But now it's all over and only the silence of death and the deep loneliness brought by her absence exists.

No kiss given or even a hug was allowed me.
Even seeing her at least once was denied me.
So it hasn't been easy.

Kind Regards
Radrook