Could anybody check my essay? I have used some expressions and phrasal verbs which I hope fit in the context.
Thank you ^^

These days, more and more people are using their own cars to commute. The high levels of pollution found in the air may have something to do with the increasing number of vehicles in our cities. When faced with taking private cars or public transport people react in different ways. I will discuss for and against arguments about using either private cars or public transport in this essay.

Some people prefer use private cars to public transport for several reasons. First, they think that private cars are faster than public transport since you don’t have to spend your priceless time waiting for the bus under a bus-shelter crammed with people. Second, you can go from work to home directly without stopping time and time again picking people up. On the other hand, there are people who don’t like to share room with unknown persons and they don’t like standing up during the trip. Take buses as examples. In rush hours, it is very difficult to find any seat left and eventually you end up grasping a hand bar and trying to keep your balance to not be flung when the bus brakes.

There are other people who prefer public transport to private cars. In my view, public transport is cheaper than using our own cars. Ask people who use private cars on a regular basis how much money they spend on their cars every month. Not to mention the price of the parking and fuel or the expense produced when you take your car to the garage to have it repaired. Unlike private cars, public transport has got reserved lanes in many cities so long delays due to traffic congestion can be avoided using a bus or a taxi. In these cities public transport makes for faster than private cars. As for as environment is concerned the use of public transport instead of private cars makes a difference. For instance, if the people who use a bus used their own vehicles instead of, it would be the equivalent to 60 cars producing fumes.
In conclusion, using private cars is expensive and produces more pollution on atmosphere than public transport. All in all, public transport is probed to be more efficiency and cheaper than private cars. For this reason, I feel that we all should try to use public transport whenever it is possible because is beneficial for your economy, your time and environment.
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Hi Nadja,

Nice use of expressions in this essay. Here are some corrections. There are one or two places where a word in your original is not necessary, though there is nothing wrong with using it. I have indicated these by putting square brackets around the word. Let me know if you don’t understand any changes I have made. – Nick

These days, more and more people are using their own cars to commute. The high levels of pollution found in the air may have something to do with the increasing number of vehicles in our cities. [ or “The increasing number of vehicles in our cities contributes to the high levels of pollution in the air”] When faced with taking private cars or public transport[put a comma here] people react in different ways. In this essay I will discuss the arguments for and against using private cars or public transport.

People prefer private cars to public transport for several reasons. Firstly, they think that private cars are faster than public transport since you don’t have to spend your priceless [or precious] time waiting for a bus[It would be best to put a full stop here, or a comma followed by usually under...] a bus-shelter crammed with people. Secondly, you can go direct from work to home without stopping time and time again to pick people up. Finally, there are people who don’t like to share their space with unknown persons[comma] and they don’t like standing up during their journey - take buses as an example, in rush hours, it is very difficult to find a spare seat and eventually you end up grasping a hand bar and trying to keep your balance so at not to not be flung around when the bus brakes.

On the other hand [this phrase introduces something contrary to what has gone before, so it did not fit in the original paragraph. It could be used here] There are other people who prefer public transport to private cars. In my view, public transport is cheaper than using yourown car. Ask people who use private cars on a regular basis how much Emotion: money they spend on their cars every month.

This is not to mention the price of parking and fuel[comma] or the expense incurred when you take your car to the garage to have it repaired. Unlike private cars, public transport has reserved lanes in many cities [comma] so long delays due to traffic congestion can be avoided by using a bus or [a] taxi. In these cities public transport is faster than private cars. As far as the environment is concerned[comma] the use of public transport instead of private cars makes a difference. For example, if the people who use a bus were to use their own vehicles instead, this would add another 60 cars producing fumes to the road.

In conclusion, using private cars is expensive and produces more [atmospheric] pollution than does public transport. All in all, public transport is proven to be more efficient and cheaper than private cars. For this reason, I feel that we should all try to use public transport whenever possible. It is beneficial for your finances, your time, and your environment. [it sounds better to make this list consistent with “your” in front of all of the items]
Hi Nick, thank very much for your revision. There are many things to comment on. Could you explain some points?

- 'This is not to mention the price of parking and fuel....' Is it possible to write down just 'Not to mention...'? I saw it written in an article some days ago. Maybe 'This is' is ommited in a more informal style.
- 'so at not to not be flung around...' did you spot the second not? I have just realised that fling is a transitive verb that always carries and adverb or preposition.

- In these cities public transport makes for the fastest means of commuting. I’m using the phrasal verb makes for instead of results in. I did it wrong before but, is it correct now?

Your comments help me a lot.Emotion: smile I'm in debted with you.
NADJA
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Hi Nadja,

- 'This is not to mention the price of parking and fuel....'

You could write the sentence "...ask them how much money they spend on their cars every month, not to mention the price of parking and fuel."

"Not to mention..." needs to link with a previous idea you have just expressed. So it is an awkward phrase to start a sentence, and it does not sound at all right at the start of a paragraph. Adding "This is" gives the phrase a link back to the previous sentence/ paragraph.

- 'so at not to not be flung around...'

Apologies, my mistake here. I should have checked my writing! I meant to write 'so as not to be flung around...' You need to give an idea of where or how you are being thrown about here. You could write "flung backwards and forwards", "flung sideways" "flung against other passengers", "flung to the floor". Here the verb is to be flung and you must include the "to" unless there is an auxilliary verb present, such as "...they may be flung", "they can be flung".

- "In these cities public transport makes for the fastest means of commuting". - Yes OK.

Have I understood your queries correctly? -- Nick
Thanks Nick. I have understood everything. You have made it very easy to understand.
Thank you Emotion: smile
NADJA
i liked your essay. i'm writting one today. thanks for giving me some ideas Emotion: big smile
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I really liked your essay. I kind of copyed it in my english lesson
but stillEmotion: big smile
Thnx so muchEmotion: yes
thanks
thanks very much
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