# My Writting

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Please check my Writting about water use worldwide and water comsumption in two different countries

The graph shows us about using water in the world and the table talks about water comsumption of Brazil and Congo in 2000.

Through the graph, we can see the rapid development in using water within 100 years from year 1900 to 2000 with increasing 0 km3 to 3000km3 for only 3 sectors Argiculture, Industry and Domestic. In these areas, water consumption in agriculture has been using more than the others, just jump up from around 500 km3 to 3000 km3 within a century. The people have just recorded a using increase water about 1000km3 for a century.

The table by giving numbers describes clearly about water consumption in Brazil and Congo in 2000. According to it, Brazil with the population 176 million and 26500 km2 used 359m3 while Congo 5.2 million and 100km2 used only 8m3. Definitely the average used water per person of Brazil is higher than Congo, which can explained by the development in Brazil.

Basically, we should imagine apartly about using water in the world within last 100 years and an example for consumption of 2 countries Brasil and Congo.

Can you show us what the graph looks like please?

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You can also review my advice for Task 1 essays: IELTS TASK 1: Hints, Tips And Advice

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Please post a picture of the table too!

Oh, sorry! I thought I attached all!

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The graph shows us about (That is very vague. You need to be precise and exact in Task 1. Exactly what is plotted on the graph?) using water in the world and the table talks (Tables cannot talk. Avoid anthropomorphic expressions in Task 1. It is a science/math context, and you need to use objective, rational, math and science vocabulary.) about water comsumption of Brazil and Congo in 2000. (Your paragraph is not complete. How many curves are on the graph? What are they? What is the time frame of the graph? )

Through the graph, we can see the rapid development in using water (Not a good description) within 100 years from year 1900 to 2000, with increasing 0 km3 to 3000km3 for three only 3 sectors Argiculture, Industry and Domestic. In these areas, water consumption in agriculture has been using more (wrong expression) than the others, just jump up from around 500 km3 to 3000 km3 within a century. The people have just recorded a using increase water (ungrammatical) about 1000km3 over this for a century.

The table by giving numbers describes clearly (Vague) about water consumption in Brazil and Congo in 2000. According to it, Brazil with the population 176 million and 26500 km2 (population??) used 359m3 while Congo 5.2 million and 100km2 (wrong expression) used only 8m3. Definitely the average used water per person of Brazil is higher than Congo, which can explained by the development (Do not write opinions or conclusions in Task 1. This is your opinion. It is not in the graph or in the table.) in Brazil.

Basically, we should imagine apartly about using water in the world within last 100 years and an example for consumption of 2 countries Brasil and Congo. (You need a conclusion paragraph for Task 2, not for Task 1. In Task 1, just describe the information.)

Here is Task 1 essay on the same subject that was submitted by another student. You can use it as an example or model. It is much longer than required, but it give some expressions and phrases that are good to study.

The line graph shows the amounts of water used for agriculture, industry and domestic use in the world from 1900 to 2000. The table lists the water consumption per person, population and area of irrigated land in Brazil and the Democratic Republic of Congo in one year, 2000.

Overall, total usage of water on a global scale rose significantly between 1900 (750 km3) and 2000 (4700 km3), with agriculture accounting for the largest proportion of water used. Domestic water consumption was the lowest, with industrial usage in between. The per capita water consumption in Brazil was 45 times higher than in the Congo.

The amounts consumed for agriculture started at about 500 km3 in 1900, and steadily rose by a factor of six, ending at roughly 3000 km3 in 2000. While the amounts of industrial and domestic consumption stood at around 100 km3 in 1900, with a narrow gap between them, they remained at about this same level until 1930. By 2000, industrial water use had climbed tenfold, whereas the amount of domestic use had risen fivefold, ending at 500 km3.

In the year 2000, the population of Brazil and the Congo were 176 and 5.2 million, respectively. Water consumption in Brazil, at 359 m3 per person, was much higher than in Congo, at 8 m3 per person and the amount of irrigated land in Brazil was 265 times more than in the Congo (100 km2).

Dear AlpheccaStars, I rewrited my essay after reviewing carefullly your great advice. So please instruct me again with my writting as below

The graph describes the globe water used in agriculture, industry and domestic use in the world within one century from 1900 to 2000. While the water consumption with area, population of Brazil and Congo in 2000 is showed at the table.

The line representing agriculture water use rose from under 1000 km3 in 1900 to 3000km3 after one hundred year, which was three time more than water consumption for using industry in 2000. During that time, the water for domestic had been consumed with the increase lower than industrial consumption. The water consumed for three areas developed steadily before 1940 but rapidly in the remained years of data capture table. By 2000, water consumption recored of industry, domestic use was around 1000km3 and 500km3, respectively.

With population 176 million people, 26500 km2 area and average water consumption 359m3 of Brazil overwhelmed to Congo’s 5.2 million population, only 100km2 area with consumped water 8m3 in 2000.

Dear AlpheccaStars, I rewrited (rewrote) my essay after carefully reviewing carefullly your great advice. So please review the edited version below. instruct me again with my writting as below

You still have to practice Task 1 essays a lot more. Most of your writing is awkward and unnatural English. Keep trying!

The line graph plots describes the globe amounts of water used in agriculture, industry and domestic use in the world during the 20th within one century from 1900 to 2000. While The water consumption, with land area, and population in 2000 of two countries, Brazil and The Congo, in 2000 is shown showed at in the table.

The line representing agricultural water use rose from under 1000 km3 in 1900 to 3000km3 one hundred years later, or after one hundred year, which was three time times more than thewater consumption by industry. for using industry in 2000. During that time, the water for household use domestic had been consumed with the increased at a lower rate than industrial consumption. The water consumed for three areas went up developed steadily before 1940 but then rapidly in the remained years of the period. data capture table. By 2000, water consumption recored of for industry, and domestic use was around 1000km3 and 500km3, respectively.

With a population of 176 million people, 26500 km2 land area and an average per capita water consumption 359m3, of Brazil's water use overwhelmed to The Congo’s 5.2 million population, only 100km2 area with consumped water 8m3 per capita water consumption in 2000.

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