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Tell me what you guys think. I just wrote this narrative paragraph for a 12th grade english class. Our directions dictated that the paragraph must be about the worst day of our life and that it had to be 10 to 15 sentences long.

September 11th 2001, it was the worst day of my life and it all started when I was sitting in a classroom learning grammar. The first thing I remember was another teacher running into our classroom shouting “Turn on the TV! Oh my God, turn on the TV”. As soon as the television was turned on we saw the video of the first plane striking into the World Trade Center playing over and over. As we all sat there in confusion trying to figure out what was going on, the second plane crashed into the other tower of the World Trade center. This is when we all realized that this was no accident. Suddenly it became abundantly clear that a group of people were attacking an unmistakable symbol of our country. The curriculum that was being taught that morning became an afterthought from an era bygone. The Screen read something like “our nation is under attack”, that is when I realized that the way our society functioned would surely change forever. Two more planes crashed as the day went on; the FAA grounded all flights as a result, something that had never been done before. It didn’t take long before our country started planning our retaliation efforts. Less than a month later, troops were on the ground in Afghanistan, fighting alongside the Northern Alliance to overthrow the Taliban. All of us knew service members that had gone to war, and it didn’t take long before the casualty reports started to show up in the press. Because of everything that has happened since that day, and what is continuing to happen, September 11th, 2001 was surely the worst day of my life.

I really expect some of you smart ones to give me some editing tips, good punctuation is not my strong suite. Thanks.

can someone help me?
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" why you chose to pursue dental assisting" I need a narative paragraph
[cal]19 June 2008
If you want to write a narative paragraph about this topic " why you chose to pursue dental assisting" with what kind off sentences will you start and how will you organize it can you please help me?
thank you.

Sorry, I don't know why you chose dental assisting. You are the only one that knows that.

Best wishes, Clive
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This narative paragraph does not conatain a good topic sentence.In fact, it respects, to some extent, some features of a narative paragraph,such as time and chronological order.Moreover, we feel bored with reading it because of unwell-developed of the topic sentence chosen by the writer.
hey dude!!! could u make an illustrative paragraph??? i need it for my report... ^^
Hey dude, we don't do homework unless you give us a LOT of money.
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ur question makes no sense !!
i am so confused !
a narrative paragraph tells a story .
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