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CORRECT THE FOLLOWING SENTENCES THAT HAVE SENTENCE STYLE, WORD CHOICE, GRAMMATICAL SENTENCE and PUNCTUATION ERRORS, AND TELL WHAT RULE OF WRITING YOU ARE ADDRESSING. (The first one is done for you.)

1. Police dogs are used for finding lost children, tracking criminals, and the detection of bombs and illegal drugs. detecting (parallel structure)

2. It is easier to sustain an exercise program than starting one.

3. The old Marlboro ads depicted a man on a horse smoking a cigarette. (

4. Dyslexia is when people have a learning disorder that impairs reading ability.

5. The first basic, important, essential law that governs the field of economics is self-interest. (Redundancies)

6. A strange sound was made in the willow tree by the monkey that had escaped from the zoo.

The monkey escaped from the zoo and is in the willow tree making a strange sound.

7. Passengers should endeavor to finalize the customs declaration form prior to exiting the aircraft. complete (Appropriate/pretentious language)

8. Many people take for granite that public libraries half up-to-date networked computer systems. granted; have (?)

9. Shelters for teenage runaways (offer/offers) a wide variety of services.

10. Our church has all the latest technology, even a close-circuit television. including (?)

11. Every presidential candidate must appeal to a wide variety of ethnic and social groups if they want to win the election.

12. Listening to the CD her sister had sent her, Mia was overcome with a mix of emotions. Happiness, homesickness, nostalgia.

13. Wind power for the home is a supplementary source of energy, it can be combined with electricity, gas, or solar energy.

14. Although she was not in combat, Mary Walker, then in her (thirties / thirty’s), served in the Union army. She became the first woman to receive the Medal of Honor, the (military’s/ militarys’) highest-ranking medal. She fought for a constitutional amendment to allow women to vote. Congress finally passed the Nineteenth Amendment in 1920. Unfortunately, Mary Walker died before (its / it’s) adoption.

Thirty year old Mary Walker served in the Union Army, but she was never in combat. She was the first woman to receive the military’s highest ranking Medal of Honor. She fought for a constitutional amendment to allow women to vote. Unfortunately, Mary Walker died before Congress passed the Nineteenth Amendment in 1920.

Any help will be appriciated!
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Hi,

CORRECT THE FOLLOWING SENTENCES THAT HAVE SENTENCE STYLE, WORD CHOICE, GRAMMATICAL SENTENCE and PUNCTUATION ERRORS, AND TELL WHAT RULE OF WRITING YOU ARE ADDRESSING. (The first one is done for you.)

1. Police dogs are used for finding lost children, tracking criminals, and the detection of bombs and illegal drugs. detecting (parallel structure)

2. It is easier to sustain an exercise program than starting one. . . . than to start one. (not parallel)
3. The old Marlboro ads depicted a man on a horse smoking a cigarette. (the horse was not smoking. )
The old Marlboro ads depicted a man smoking a cigarette on a horse.
The old Marlboro ads depicted a man on a horse, smoking a cigarette. (adding a comma would be OK, too.)

Maybe call it an incorrectly paced modifier?

4. Dyslexia is when people have a learning disorder that impairs reading ability.This seems reasonably acceptable to me. But 'when people have' is probably redundant.
5. The first basic, important, essential law that governs the field of economics is self-interest. (Redundancies)
6. A strange sound was made in the willow tree by the monkey that had escaped from the zoo. This seems reasonably acceptable to me. 'Had' may not be necessary, depending on the context. A more active form is better style, ie The monkey made a strange sound in the willow tree after it escaped from the zoo.
The monkey escaped from the zoo and is in the willow tree making a strange sound. No, you are putting the 'making' into the present, but the original does not do this.
7. Passengers should endeavor to finalize the customs declaration form prior to exiting the aircraft. complete (Appropriate/pretentious language)
8. Many people take for granite that public libraries half up-to-date networked computer systems. granted; have (?)
9. Shelters for teenage runaways (offer/offers) a wide variety of services.
10. Our church has all the latest technology, even a close-circuit television. including (?)
11. Every presidential candidate must appeal to a wide variety of ethnic and social groups if they he or she wants to win the election.
12. Listening to the CD her sister had sent her, Mia was overcome with a mix of emotions: happiness, homesickness and nostalgia.
Mia was overcome with a mix of emotions: happiness, homesickness, and nostalgia, as she listened to the CD her sister had sent her.
13. Wind power for the home is a supplementary source of energy, it can be combined with electricity, gas, or solar energy.
A supplemental source of energy for the home is wind power; it can be combined with electricity, gas, or solar energy.
Wind power is a supplementary source of energy for the home, which can be combined with electricity, gas or solar energy.

14. Although she was not in combat, Mary Walker, then in her (thirties / thirty’s), served in the Union army. She became the first woman to receive the Medal of Honor, the (military’s/ militarys’) highest-ranking medal. She fought for a constitutional amendment to allow women to vote. Congress finally passed the Nineteenth Amendment in 1920. Unfortunately, Mary Walker died before (its / it’s) adoption.
Thirty year old Mary Walker served in the Union Army, but she was never in combat. She was the first woman to receive the military’s highest ranking Medal of Honor. She fought for a constitutional amendment to allow women to vote. Unfortunately, Mary Walker died before Congress passed the Nineteenth Amendment in 1920.

In her thirties, Mary Walker served in the Union Army, although not in combat. She became the first woman to receive the Medal of Honor, the (military’s/ militarys’) highest-ranking medal. In addition, she fought for a constitutional amendment to allow women to vote, which was finally passed by Congress in 1920 as the Nineteenth Amendment. Unfortunately, Mary Walker died before (its / it’s) adoption.

Any help will be appriciated!

Best wishes, Clive
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Thank you for your help CLIVE.
The person who called you is Ato Mersha and he said they have a festival on Nov. 9, 2008 and the people who are attending on the festival will be youths. They like to invite you or assign a person on their festival.

Abebe called me and he told me that he asked you to request a permission to his boss.
Hi,

The person who called you is Ato Mersha and he said they have a festival on Nov. 9, 2008 and the people who are attending on the festival will be youths. They like to invite you or assign a person on their festival.

Abebe called me and he told me that he asked you to request a permission to his boss.

The person who called you is Ato Mersha. He said they have a festival on Nov. 9, 2008 and the people who are attending will be youths. They would like to invite you.

or assign a person on their festival.<<<<< I don't understand this part. Who will do the assigning?

Abebe called me. He said that he asked you to request permission from his boss.

Best wishes, Clive
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