Hi Teachers,

Could you correct this paragraph if necessary?

This is an English pub. There are a few men and very few women. It is almost closing-time, eleven o’clock. One of the men in the pub is called Tim Scott. He spends a lot of time in pubs. His wife is at home. She had dinner alone two hours ago. In fact, she has had dinner alone quite a few times since she got married.

Wife: Where were you Fred? Don’t answer me; you were in the pub again!

Tim: Well, not really, we had a lot of work in the office.

Thanks in advance
I would not use a hyphen for 'closing time'. Maybe the hyphen is a British thing.

There is an abrupt change when you stop telling the story and introduce dialog as if this were a play. I would try to make the presentation more consistent by providing a better transition and quoting dialog as it is done in stories rather than as it is done in plays.

CJ
Hi Jim,

Thank you for the reply. Ok. Here is were you mentioned the abrupt change.

This is an English pub. There are a few men and very few women. It is almost closing-time, eleven o’clock. One of the men in the pub is called Tim Scott. He spends a lot of time in pubs. His wife is at home. She had dinner alone two hours ago. In fact, she has had dinner alone quite a few times since she got married.

Wife: Where were you Fred? Don’t answer me; you were in the pub again!

Tim: Well, not really, we had a lot of work in the office.

Should it be like this then? Is this what you mean not to have an abrupt change?

In fact, she has had dinner alone quite a few times since she got married. 'Where were you Fred? Don’t answer me; you were in the pub again!' she said. 'Well, not really, we had a lot of work in the office'. he answered.

Best,

TS
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Thinking SpainIs this what you mean not to have an abrupt change?
Yes. Partially. It seems, however, that you also need to place the conversation in time somehow, even if it's just to add a little like this:

... In fact, she has had dinner alone quite a few times since she got married. [Once / One day] she asked, "Where were you, Fred? ..." ... And Fred answered, "Well, not really, ..."

Or:

...... In fact, she has had dinner alone quite a few times since she got married. She used to ask, "Where were you, Fred? ..." ... And Fred would always answer, "Well, not really, ..."

CJ
Hi Jim,

Thank you once again fo your reply.

CalifJim... In fact, she has had dinner alone quite a few times since she got married. [Once / One day] she asked, "Where were you, Fred? ..." ... And Fred answered, "Well, not really, ..."
I'll pick up this one. It is easier.

Then this is how it should be, shouldn't it?

In fact, she has had dinner alone quite a few times since she got married. One day she asked, 'Where were you Fred? Don’t answer me; you were in the pub again!' And Fred answered 'Well, not really, we had a lot of work in the office'.

One last question about it, as I can see you use the reporting verb 'asked' even though what the wife says has a question, a negative statement, and an affirmative one. Do you use the reporting verb 'asked' because it is with a question that she starts her enquiries or comentaries?

Thanks

TS
Hi Jim,

Thank you once again fo your reply.

CalifJim... In fact, she has had dinner alone quite a few times since she got married. [Once / One day] she asked, "Where were you, Fred? ..." ... And Fred answered, "Well, not really, ..."
I'll pick up this one. It is easier.

Then this is how it should be, shouldn't it?

In fact, she has had dinner alone quite a few times since she got married. One day she asked, 'Where were you Fred? Don’t answer me; you were in the pub again!' And Fred answered 'Well, not really, we had a lot of work in the office'.

One last question about it, as I can see you use the reporting verb 'asked' even though what the wife says has a question, a negative statement, and an affirmative one. Do you use the reporting verb 'asked' because it is with a question that she starts her enquiries or comentaries?

Thanks

TS
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Thinking SpainDo you use the reporting verb 'asked' because it is with a question that she starts her enquiries or comentaries?
Yes, I do.

CJ