Hi there, Can anyone help me edit my essay and tell me where my writing problems are.
By the way, I am now preparing for the IELTS test and am desperate for help.
Thanks in advance

Topic: more and more people work and study from home with the development of computer technology.
Do u think it is positive or negative.


Since the end of the last century, the enormous advance in computer and internet technologies enables people to work and study at home, instead of going home or to office. This development soon has become an important alternative to traditional fashion of education and work and has received wide currency among qualification seekers and office workers. Despite the great convenience created by this development, there are also problems related to this trend which prevent the new way of working and studying from working effectively. This essay will discuss both sides of the impacts below.

Distance learning and working, first of all, can help students and office workers save the time of commutes and thus, promote the efficiency. As a result of urban development, many people have to live far away from the place where they work and study. Travelling everyday consumes them much more time than ever before. Those wasted time can be saved by learning and working at home. The second advantage of work and study at home is that it requires relatively low resources and costs, leading to the reduction of expenditures for companies and education providers. This advantage is, in particular, crucial for small businesses and countries with large population which usually cannot afford to rent or built enough room for their employees or students.

On the other hand, there are many negative impacts related with this tendency. Working and studying at home requires a high degree of maturity and commitment. It only suits those self-motivated and self-directed people. Those who generally lack of self-control and self-scheduling will over time develop inefficient learning and working habits. Over dependence on media is another important disadvantage. Internet has a myriad of contents that may divert people’s attention from study or work. Online games and browsing website, for example, consumes much of people’s time, leading to a low efficiency of either work or study.

As suggested above, there are both positive and negative impacts of work and study at home. As far as I concern, although many inherent problems make the effect of this development unlike to be as effective as traditional way of work and study, the advantage will beat the disadvantage.
Since the end of the last century, the enormous advance in computer and internet technologies enables people to work and study at home, instead of having to travel elsewhere for work or study.

his development soon has become an important alternative to traditional fashion of education and work and has received wide currency among qualification seekers and office workers. (needs to be rephrased)

Travelling everyday consumes a lot of time than ever before.

This advantage is, in particular, crucial for small businesses and countries with large population which usually cannot afford to rent or built enough room for their employees or students.

Those who generally lack of self-control and self-scheduling will over time develop inefficient learning and working habits. Over-dependence on media is another important disadvantage.

As far as I concern, although many inherent problems make the effect of this development unlikely to be as effective as traditional way of work and study, the advantages outweight the disadvantages.
Many thanks!

Btw, can you see any problems about my writing technique? and how can I get improve?
Students: Are you brave enough to let our tutors analyse your pronunciation?
I suggest discussing one advantage/disadvantage per paragraph.
Hi, You can email me on [email removed by moderator. If you register at this site, you can put your email address on your user profile]. I am a professional writer and can edit and revise your paper.