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Can someone check my grammar in this simple story.

It has been part of my successes to be and to make the people happy around me. To create that happy environment, I have to be the excellent service provider.

There was a time when I was working in Footwear. It was late and we needed to close the shop. Suddenly two women approached the door and called me to have a word with me. When I approach them they said they wanted to go inside and to buy some footwear. First I explained them that we were already closed. But, they were insisting and saying that they needed to buy footwear. I felt that it was very important for them to buy the shoes. Then I invited them inside. After 30 minutes of discussion they finally bought two shoes and they were so happy with my service. When they were leaving the store, one of them told me to give her pan and paper. First, I didn’t understand. When she gave it to me back with attached business card, I was totally surprised. She was a Training and Human Resources Manager of well-established hotel chains in the world and she wrote full page of amazing words about me. When my superiors came to know about that my CEO came to shake my hand and to thank me. Because when they received the letter they saw the time on it and they check the last transaction time and it was off my duty.
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It has been part
of my successes to be and to make the people happy around me.
My success has been partly due to making the people around me happy.

To create that happy environment, I have to be an excellent service provider. I will give you an example.
There was a time when I was working in Footwear. It was late and we needed to close the shop. Suddenly two women approached the door and called me over to have a word with me.
When I approached them they said they wanted to go inside and to buy some footwear.
First I explained to them that we were already closed. But, they were insisting insistent,
and saying that they needed to buy footwear. I felt that it was very important for them to buy the shoes, so Then I invited them inside. After 30 minutes of
discussion they finally bought two pairs of shoes and they were very so happy with my
service. When they were leaving the store, one of them told me to give her a pen
and some paper. At first, I didn’t understand. When she gave it to me back with a
attached business card attached, I was totally surprised. She was a Training and Human
Resources Manager of a well-established hotel chain in the world and she wrote (had written) a
full page of amazing words about me. When my superiors came to know about that,
my CEO came to shake my hand and to thank me. Because when they received the
letter they saw the time on it and they checked the last transaction time and found that and that was when I
was off my duty.