I am applying for master course in physical activity. For that I have written a motivation letter. I would be greatful if anyone go through the letter and correct any grammer or spelling mistakes and give suggestions for further modification

Dear Sir/Madam,

I am writing to you to apply for the Master of Physical activity. I am a -------------- with three and half years of experience. I am having great interest in treating disabled patients from my studentship. One of my friends in schooldays was a handicapped person. By seeing his sufferings, I thought to do something for the disabled people which motivated me to select the ----------- profession. During my internship I was posted in ---------- (NGO aided by ), where I treated many disabled and Special children which further intensified my desire of making disabled to differently abled children.

Since I passed out the course as a best outgoing student, I was given an opportunity to work as a ------------ in my mother institution (-------- and ). In my profession I have treated and treating many neurologically affected patients (spinal cord injury, stroke) and disabled patients. When I treat disabled patients I always try to make them as independent as possible and modify the activities to lead a better life. So I encourage them to take part in social, recreational and physical activities. As the facility is less in our area, it was difficult for me to make them take part in physical and sports activities. My voluntary service for ------- scheme (------- Project) to findout disabled children from village schools and various free medical camps with medical specialists grow my interest in rehabilitation of disabled patients. From these experiences I come to know that most of the rehabilitation services in our country are aimed to improve the independence of patient only in Activities of Daily Living. For the rehabilitation to be complete it should make the patient to participate in physical, social and recreational activities. As I am having very little knowledge in this area, I wish to learn a master course in rehabilitation. Though I update my clinical knowledge by attending various professional development programs, I thought to study master course, which help me to treat these patients with full satisfaction. As my financial background is low to support the master course I was searching for the scholarship courses in -------- in internet. When I saw this course I got a great interest in it, as it is fulfilling my desire of higher education in interesting field.

I am very eager to study a course in which is my favorite place for higher education. When I come to know that part of this study is in ------------------, I am very happy that, it is one of the oldest and top ten rated university in Europe and my friends spoken very highly of medical education in .

Accomplishing this master program will enable me to achieve a broader knowledge on treatment of disabled patients. It will also grant me a international experience and treatment method. On obtaining this masters program I am planning to increase facilities in our area to rehabilitate the disabled patients to their fullest possible capacity. Thank you very much for considering my request. I look forward to your positive reply.



Yours truly,
Dear Babuvenkatesh,

I am glad you are not anonymous any more! It is nice to meet a student with such wonderful goals.

I replied to your first paragraph in another thread. Here is the rest (see my next post). I strongly advise that you rewrite according to my guidelines and repost before we proceed. Others will hopefully add to this thread if the basic grammar is at least cleaned up somewhat.

I believe your letter still needs to be shorter and can be stated more effectively. Let's do one step at a time though, so that you have time to learn as we go along.
I am not used to how attached files work on this site, so please let me know if this works! In the future I will try to use the formatting guide provided by this site but I have not learned it yet. Good luck!
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I'm sorry that my file attachment did not work. I got a message that there could only be one file extension, which puzzles me since my document only has the extension '.doc'.
Can anyone help?
Hi,

For myself, I greatly prefer people to paste their text directly into their post here. It avoids any 'can't open or can't find the file' problems, and also makes it easier to perform corrections.

If anyone asks me to go 'off Forum' to look at text, I just give up on that post and go to the next person's post.Emotion: smile

Clive
I agree, but my text did not post well as a paste. I'll check with my local computer guru. I would like to help Babuvenkatesh with this letter.
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This is the best my formatting skills allow at this time. I will try to improve so I can help you!

[ Since I passed out the course as a best outgoing student, I was ]delete

I passed the course with highest honors and was therefore given an opportunity to work as a ------------ in my mother institution, (--------Hospital and College of ------------),
[In my profession I have treated and treating many ](delete) where I treat neurologically affected patients (spinal cord injury, stroke) and other disabled patients.

[When I treat disabled patients them] I always try to make them as independent as possible [and modify the activities to lead a better life. So I](delete) and encourage them to take part in social, recreational and physical activities in order to lead a better life, but since the facility in our area is [less](delete) limited in services, it [was](delete) is difficult for me to make them take part in physical and sports activities.

[My voluntary service](delete) As a volunteer for ------- scheme (------- Project [add when you did this]) [to findout](delete) I identified disabled children from village schools and from various free medical camps [with medical specialists grow ,](delete) and I became even more [my](delete) interested in the rehabilitation of disabled patients.

From these experiences I [come to know](delete) learned that most of the rehabilitation services in our country are [aimed](delete) limited only to improving the independence of patients in their Activities of Daily Living.

For [the](delete) rehabilitation to be complete [it should make](delete) the patient should be encouraged to participate in physical, social and recreational activities.

[As I am having very little](delete) I need more knowledge in this area, therefore I wish to [learn](delete) earn a master’s [course](delete) degree in rehabilitation.

Although I have updated my clinical knowledge by attending various professional development programs, I [thought to study master course, which] believe advanced study will help me to treat [these](delete) my patients with [full satisfaction](delete) better results.

[As my financial background is low to support the master course I was searching for the scholarship courses in -------- in internet. When I saw this course I got a great interest in it, as it is fulfilling my desire of higher education in interesting field.]—(You may wish to omit this part in order to discuss financial need in a different letter at another time. I don’t know as much about this topic. Perhaps you can ask the forum about this separately, as another issue.)

—(You may wish to omit this also, since you want them to be interested in you. They already know you are interested in going to their institution.)

[Accomplishing](delete) Completing this master program will enable me to [achieve](delete) acquire a broader knowledge [on] of the treatment of disabled patients and
[It](delete) will also [grant](delete) give me an internationally oriented experience [and](delete) in treatment methods.

[On obtaining] When I complete this masters program I [am](delete) plan to [increase](delete) help improve facilities in our area to so that they will be able to rehabilitate [the] disabled patients to their fullest possible capacity.

Thank you very much for considering my request. I look forward to your positive reply.
Dear Mr. verade,

Thank you very much for your help and suggestions. I changed the formate of the letter as per your suggestions.