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this one i'm having a hard time with.

1. The waterwheel starts turning, powering the machine.

(is that one ok? i'm just not sure because it finishes with a verb , then starts with a verb.)

2. Lanterns in the corners of the room roar to life with bright flames.

alternatives to the phrases could be.

1. The waterwheel starts turning. the maching awakes.

2. Lanterns in the corners of the room roar to life with bright flames, lighting the room in a orange glow.

what are your thoughts thanks.
Comments  
Hi Market,

Welcome to the Forum. Your sentences are OK grammatically. Your alternatives are certainly more stylish and literary.

1. The waterwheel starts turning, powering the machine.

(is that one ok? i'm just not sure because it finishes with a verb , then starts with a verb.)

2. Lanterns in the corners of the room roar to life with bright flames.

alternatives to the phrases could be.

1. The waterwheel starts turning. The machine awakes.

2. Lanterns in the corners roar to life with bright flames, lighting the room in a orange glow.

Best wishes, Clive

yeah, thanks for your help. lol...i should of prof read before posting. i wrote: maching instead of machine... lol.

and thanks for the last phrare cause , i didn't like the the word "room" appeared twice. it flows very nicely now thanks.
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Hi,

You're welcome.Emotion: smile

an orange glow.

Best wishes again, Clive
need an opinion from someone. which phrases is clearer. basicaly i want a stone slab to drob down and close the doorway but with enough time for people to slip through. not too slow but not too fast either.

1. He hits into the statue, triggering a stone slab slowly descending from the doorway.

2. He hits into statue, triggering a stone slab slowly closing down on the doorway.

3. He hits into the statue, triggering the slow closing of the doorway.

how would you guys write it.

i may have found a better way.

4. He hits into the statue. It clicks. A stone slab starts descending from the doorway..

or

5. He hits into the statue. It clicks. A stone slabs starts closing down on the doorway.
Hi,

My main coment is that it sounds odd and wrong to say He hits into the statue. You need to say it another way.

Clive
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but his the image of the closing door , work?

i could change it to : He verbs againsts the statue. or He verbs into the statue.

slams , stumbles into, runs into, falls ,
Hi,

but is the image of the closing door , work? Yes

i could change it to : He verbs againsts the statue. or He verbs into the statue.

slams , stumbles into, runs into, falls ,

These ideas are OK.

Clive
Is the phrase "from she and I" grammartically correct?
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