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Hi, really thank you for all your help, I have learned a lot these days. Hope we can be friends.

Best regards,

Dear Sir or Madam,

Having a flair for marketing, I wish to apply for a MA programme in marketing in September 2005. My career objective is to become a faculty member at a leading university.

I have always endeavored to do my best and learn as much as possible. In 2001 after my graduation from high school in China, I was accepted by an English-taught BA Programme in International Business at Vaasa Polytechnic University in Finland. I will graduate in May. Although it was a difficult, in part because I had to adjust to a new culture and language, I successfully obtained high marks in most of the courses with an overall GPA of 3.5. Moreover, having been raised in China combined with my experience in Finland, I am well versed in two cultures, four different languages-Chinese, English, Spanish, and Finnish-and am able to quickly assimilate into new surroundings.

In 2004, I worked as an intern for a medical device importing company BAOTE Medical Equipment Co., Ltd CHINA [That name doesn’t seem correct. Names usually end in Co. or Ltd. but not both] in the marketing department. My duties included gathering the information from customers’ feedback about the products, analyzing our market competitiveness and profitability, assisting foreign manufacturers to improve their quality, as well as writing a marketing research paper for the company. I learned to interact with different customer personalities and resolve government issues. Furthermore I was able to learn creative organizational skills by handling unexpected events and challenges.

For nearly a hundred years, my family and extended families were involved with different businesses such as a retailer of shoes and clothes, a wholesaler supplying foods, and a car device importing company. By always being near business, I became fascinated by marketing. I wanted to become better skilled at knowing how to inform and reach customers. [You can strengthen this part somewhat. You had a lot meaningless banter there before. Perhaps combine this paragraph with the next paragraph to reduce your length of your letter.]

By learning marketing, I will be better positioned to help companies serve their customers’ needs, which will result in greater customers’ satisfaction and profits for my company. Besides, studying marketing enables us consumers to be well informed about accurate information on products before purchase. Understanding marketing leads to the evaluation of corrective measure such as laws and regulations that may be required to stop unfair or unethical marketing practices around us.

I posses a rich and strong multicultural background that serves as important foundation for my business aspirations. Through hard work and dedication I have grown immensely during the past four years while completing my BA in International Business in Finland. I am confident with the additional knowledge, skills, and contacts gained through your program, I will be well positioned to become a strong faculty member at a leading university.

Thank you very much for considering my request. I am looking forward to your positive reply.

Yours faithfully,

Ms. Wang Mengjie (I don’t know your language very well. But make sure you have Ms. FirstName LastName.)
Students: Are you brave enough to let our tutors analyse your pronunciation?
Dear Mr. Mountain Hiker

Thank you for your help again and ,may I ask some questions regarding the letter, please?

Do the "motivation letter" and "personal statement" refer the same thing?
When writing personal statement, should I write it in a letter form?
How many words should a motivation letter contain normally?

I am looking forward to your reply.

Best regards,

1) Do the "motivation letter" and "personal statement" refer the same thing?

Yes, I believe so.

2) When writing personal statement, should I write it in a letter form?

Depends on how they ask you to present it. They will usually give some instructions. But in any event, they are similar.

3) How many words should a motivation letter contain normally?

I would target between 1-2 pages. So between 300-600 words. The school will usually tell you.

In your case, I see a lot repetition and filler. So for you, I would try to be brief. Remember, the person reading your essay will probably be reading a stack of essays at home after having a hard day at work. He or she has other responsibilities and has a busy life. You need to get to your critical points quickly, state your case, and then close. All they are looking to do is to see if you can structure a coherent letter or essay. They probably really don't care very much about the actual content, unless it is exceptional, or you are a borderline case.

When in doubt, be brief. Time is precious.