Hello Woodward,
I am applying for LLM Program and have to write a letter of motivation. It would be just great if someone who knows a lot about this type of letter could read it and give me some good advice

Here is:

"MOTIVATION STATEMENT"

Dear Professor Ellen Hey,

The Programme Director of the LL.M.

Faculty of Law Erasmus University Rotterdam

The Netherlands

My name is RUSMANA. With this letter, I would like to introduce my candidature as a staff of Legal and Organization Bureau of Ministry of Marine Affair and Fisheries (MMAF) Republic of Indonesia, who is applying for the LLM Programme at University of Erasmus.

I graduated with a law degree in International Law from Faculty of Law, University of Padjadjaran in August 2000. During my study, I was imparted plenty of public international law knowledge, including international law, diplomatic and consular law, international treaty law, international organization law, the law of international regional organization, air and space law, international settlement of dispute law, international law of the sea, and many subjects on international law. At the end of my study, I write a minor thesis entitle: “Legal overview in the possibility of implementation of the rights of land-locked States and geographically disadvantaged States to exploits the natural resources in the exclusive economic zone of Indonesia”.

Currently I have been working with the Legal and Organization Bureau of MMAF for 3 years. I would like to engage in master program in the field of public international law because that field of study is the most relevant with my scope of work. Our bureau has responsible such facilitation and coordination in arranging, analysing, and establishing the regulations and provisions, legal system information, legal documentation, legal consultation, developing national and/or international law of the sea, and international cooperation in the the field of marine and fisheries. In order to implement that duty mentioned especially in developing national and international law of the sea, and international cooperation, our bureau and/or ministry need such legal experts who could handled any kind legal matters related to international law.

I believe I could implement my knowledge and experiences that I obtained as long as I study in Erasmus University to support and give contributions to bureau and ministry in order developing legal issues, regulations policies, and international cooperation. I am sure that I have a great career in the field of internatioanal law, and five to ten years afterward, I will have more strategic role and responsibilities as a decission maker in formulating law and policy of Indonesian’ marine and fisheries development.

In this case, I am highly aware of the superb reputation of your school, and my conversations with several of your alumni have served to deepen my interest in attending. I am sure that, in addition to your excellent faculty, the ability of professional teachers, and the support of facilities and very adequate literature have placed your institution as a most promising choice to me to deepen such issue.

I do hope that by my above-motivation words, I will be accepted as an applicant and a beneficiary of the University of Eramus to study the Public International Law Programme in the 2006 – 2007 academic years. I understand that admission to the University of Eramus is competitive, but I also understand that I’m qualified, eager and prepared to meet all of the challenges I will be presented with. I, therefore, would be most grateful if you could give my application form in your most favorable consideration. I hope you will give me the privilege of continuing my studies at your fine institution. I'm looking for getting feedback from you.

Sincerely,

Rusmana
Dear Rusmana,

The contents of your letter is good, but it needs lots of correction. for examle, its wrong to say, "I was imparted". and usualy you do not use superb with reputaion, and you never sya, that because of above motivation...always show ur interest and urge...like I am keenly iterested.. or looking at my interest in the field of law and my urge to acquire higher education..bla bla..and th colosing paragrapgh Emotion: smile, almost every motivation letter carries it, and all these letters almost go to erasmus program, so try to chnage it. otherwise they will think this is a copy..i will do more, If i got time...

take care
Dear Marwat,

thank you for your advice, I will try to rewrite my letter of motivation as soon as posible.Once again. Thank you so much.

roes