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In recent years, a myriad of people subscribe to the view that well-known people, instead of being famous for their accomplishments, are more popular for their luxurious and affluent life which leads to detrimental influence on teenagers. From my perspective, this opinion is completely well-grounded and this paper will provide justifications to support it as well as discuss several effects that this trend causes.


First and foremost, it is irrefutable that idols are now using their wealth to attain reputation. These people might inherit their assets from their parents, family, or they might be lucky to marry a well-to-do person or even, they took advantage of scandals, gossip, reality shows to polish themselves. For example, Kim Kardashian’s family has its own show just to show off their private and luxury life in a colossal mansion. Moreover, this phenomenon would render adverse impacts on children who have a lack of awareness. Thanks to the wide-spread “idol culture”, do youngsters imitate celebrities’ lifestyle of glamorous and luxurious. The temptation of buying brand products cannot be resisted, which leads teenagers to steal money from their parents, triggering the rate of juvenile delinquency.


This phenomenon has resulted in some effects on people generally. First of all, numerous works of art by great and gifted artists could be ignored since all spotlights are being focused on those with glamorous appearance. Consequently, significant dedications of true artists will be taken for granted and devalued. Additionally, this tendency will bring about the destruction of ethical values as adolescents only pursue to have stunning exterior outward and luxurious way of life instead of broadening their horizons. Spirit values and moral values will be neglected causing demoralization as well as degeneration of civilization.


In conclusion, I strongly agree that superstars who have a reputation for their affluence may be a bad example for kids. Apart from that, I believe there are still numerous well-known people acting as positive role models.

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Subject: Please review my IELTS essay

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Topic: Copy the essay instructions accurately here.

Nowadays celebrities are more famous for their glamour and wealth than for their achievements, and this is a bad example to adolescents. Do you agree with this? What does this trend cause?


My essay:

(Your text here...)
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In recent years, (With a present-tense main verb, such time expressions are unnecessary.) a myriad (misused word) of people subscribe to the view that well-known people, instead of being famous for their accomplishments, are more acclaimed / admired popular for their luxurious and affluent lifestyle which leads to detrimental influence on teenagers. From my perspective, this opinion is completely well-grounded. (An excellent start for the thesis statement. Finish by summarizing the second essay prompt.) A major consequence is a deterioration of moral values and lack of respect for more talented, but modest artists. and this paper will provide justifications to support it (That is the format for an essay. It is understood that you will be adhering to this format.) as well as discuss several effects that this trend causes.


First and foremost, it is irrefutable that teenagers' idols are now using their wealth to glorify their attain reputation. These people might inherit their money assets from their parents, family, (ungrammatical. Missing conjunction) or they might be lucky to marry a well-to-do person or even, they took (The verb tenses in this sentence are not consistent. ) advantage of scandals, gossip, reality shows (ungrammatical. Missing conjunction) to polish themselves. For example, Kim Kardashian’s family has its own show just to show off their private lives of and luxury life in a colossal mansion. Moreover, this phenomenon (misused word) would render adverse impacts on children who have a lack of awareness (of what?) . Thanks to the wide-spread “idol culture”, do youngsters (misused word) teens imitate celebrities’ lifestyles of privilege and extravagance. glamorous and luxurious. (misused words. These are adjectives, not nouns.) The temptation of buying the brand-name products they endorse cannot be resisted, which leads teenagers to steal money from their parents, triggering the rate of juvenile delinquency.


This phenomenon (misused word) has resulted in some effects on people generally. First of all, numerous works of art by great and gifted artists could be ignored since all the attention is spotlights are being focused on those with glamorous appearance. Consequently, significant the output dedications of true artists will be taken for granted and devalued. Additionally, this tendency will bring about the destruction of moral ethical values as adolescents only pursue a superficial to have stunning exterior outward appearance and luxurious way of life instead of broadening their horizons. Spirit values and Their moral values will be neglected causing demoralization as well as degeneration of civilization.


In conclusion, I strongly agree that superstars who have a reputation for their affluence may be a bad example for the youth. kids. Apart from that, I believe there are still numerous well-known people acting as positive role models. (off-topic. That is not related to either the subject or the effects of it.)