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In this days, internet and electronic devices like: cell phones, mobile phones have played an indispensible role in social life of residents. It is also believed that internet and mobile phones have their own benifits and drawbacks.

There are several benifits when people make use of cell phones and internet . The main advantages of using its is that they are capable of interacting with family members, friends and colleagues every time, everywhere. If it were not for cutting-edge technology, people would communicate with their relations closely by talk directly. Because of the expanding instruments, in spite of long time no see ,individuals can keep in contact with their acquaitances, family and fraternity just by their smartphones is connected internet. As a result, people, who are in the country of integration, can transmit with international friends to amend language skills and learn about other cultural diversity.

Despite the above benifits, the adverse effect is more significant. An additional disadvantage of consuming these things would be people ,especially youngsters might grow dependent on technological instruments. As a consequence of gluing their eyes to smartphone screens for long hours, taking diabete and obeysity as examples, they can turn into numerous serious deseases since lack of extracurricular and practical excercises . Furthermore, students who are still sitting on school chairs, are inclined to be inadequate of brainstorming when teacher confronts them with tough assignments. Therefore, they have usage smartphones in order to browse reservoir of information that online tutor solved it in the past.

To sum up, the benifit is that they can talk more convenient with their family, classmates and colleagues, while the obstacle is that people might be rely on electronic devices.

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Subject: Please review my IELTS essay

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Topic:

Nowadays, mobile phones and internet have become increasingly important in people’s social life. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this?

Copy the instructions accurately and completely.

My essay:

(Your text here...)
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When writing IELTS essays, do not use any vocabulary words that you do not know very well. You will lose many points for incorrect usage. This will lower your score.


In this (wrong word) days, the internet and electronic devices like: cell phones, mobile phones (wrong punctuation, missing conjunction) have played an indispensible role in our social lives. of residents. It is also believed that internet and mobile phones have their own benifits and drawbacks. (That is not a good statement. Everything has benefits and drawbacks. You need to give the reader an idea of what you think they are.)

There are several benifits (wrong spelling) when people make use of cell phones and the internet . The main advantages of using its (wrong word) is (wrong forms - The subject does not agree with the verb.) that they are capable of interacting with family members, friends and colleagues every anytime, everywhere. If it were not for cutting-edge technology, (wrong expression. Mobile phones were cutting-edge technology twenty years ago, but not now.) people would communicate with their relations closely by talk meeting with them in person directly. Because of the expanding instruments, (wrong phrase. non-English) in spite of long time no see , (wrong expression. This is uneducated English and should not be used in academic writing.) individuals can keep in contact with their acquaitances, (wrong spelling) family and fraternity (wrong word - Do you mean members of a college fraternity? ) just by their smartphones is connected internet. (ungrammatical - bad English) As a result, people, who are in the country of integration, (wrong expression. ) can transmit (wrong word) with international friends to amend (wrong word) language skills and learn about other cultural diversity. (Cultural diversity might be a subject taught in sociology or business administration classes. )

Despite the above benifits, the adverse effect is more significant. An additional disadvantage of consuming (wrong word) these things would be people ,especially young children in elementary school youngsters might grow dependent on technological instruments. (wrong expression ) As a consequence of gluing their eyes (wrong expression- this is not academic English) to smartphone screens for long hours, (comma splice error - ungrammatical ) taking diabete and obeysity as examples, they can turn into (wrong expression. ) numerous serious deseases since lack of (wrong expression) extracurricular and practical excercises . Furthermore, students who are still sitting on their school chairs, are inclined to be inadequate (wrong word) of brainstorming when their teacher confronts them with tough assignments. Therefore, they have usage (wrong word) smartphones in order to browse reservoir (wrong word) of information that online tutor solved it (ungrammatical.) in the past.

To sum up, the benifit is that they can talk more convenient (wrong form) with their family, classmates and colleagues, while the obstacle is that people might be rely (wrong word) on electronic devices.