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Views often differ on whether or not parents’role is more important than other factor like television or friends in a child’s development. Although it can be argued that there are lots of benefits of television or friends, I am of the opinion that parents play an important in a child’s development.

On the one side of the argument, there are people who believe that television or friends could help a child to be mature. They state that television or friends would help the children to learn more in each field. According to those people, parents are too stern that their children can not stand anymore and do not care much about the children’s feeling. They maintain that television or friends tend to lead to better influence for a child in life.

I do not think these kinds of arguments stand up to scrutiny as I am of the opinion that the best way to educate a child is their parents. There are many reasons that lead me to believe this. Firstly, I strongly agree with those who argue that there are many harmful programs and countless bad people which could affect the children badly. Secondly, it is widely known that parents are such a good teacher for the children. Because before being adult, they were children too so they would learn how to teach their children best.

To sum up, there are strong arguments for and against that television or friends could support a child to its development. As has been outlined above there are certainly pros to the advantages of television or friends educating. However, I maintain my original position that parents are the best choice for a child’s development.

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Views often differ on whether or not parents’role the role of parents is more important than other factor like television or friends in a child’s development. Although it can be argued that there are [ 1] lots of benefits of television or friends have an impact on how a child thinks and acts, I am of the opinion that parents play an important the most vital role in a child’s development.

On the one side of the argument, there are people who believe that television or friends could help a influence the formation of a child’s personality. to be mature. They state that television or friends would can help the children to learn more, in each field. because according to those people, parents are too stern that with their children can not stand anymore and do not care much about their children’s feelings. They maintain that television or friends tend to be gentler, lead to better so they can better influence for how a child behaves in life. For example, [ 2]

I do not think However, these kinds of arguments do not stand up to scrutiny, as I am of the opinion and most would agree that the best way people to educate a child is are their parents. [ 3] There are many reasons that lead me to believe this. Firstly, I strongly agree with those who argue that there are many harmful and inappropriate programs on TV and countless bad people which could affect lead the children astray. In contrast, parents can select what to teach their children based on their experience in life. For example, [ 2] badly. Secondly, it is widely known that parents are such a good teacher for the children. Because before being adult, they were children too so they would learn how to teach their children best.

[ 4] To sum up, there are strong arguments for and against that television or friends could support a child to its development. As has been outlined above there are certainly pros to the advantages of television or friends educating. However, I maintain my original position that parents are the best choice for a child’s development.

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[ 1]: “lots of” is informal; use “many”, “much”, “a lot of”, “several” instead. Also note that this essay is not about benefits and drawbacks.

[ 2]: Those are good body paragraphs, but they are not long enough. Try to give examples after presenting an idea. You will get much better marks.

[ 3]: Avoid repetition, fillers and waffle. Examiners can see through that and they will give you a lower mark.

[ 4]: Don’t write a meaningless conclusion. Instead, summarize the main points/findings from the body paragraphs. Also, it doesn’t make sense for the conclusion to be longer than the body paragraphs!

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