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Thanks khoff for the reply

I didn't go to the funeral ceremony. So I went to the funeral service.

I couldn't go the wake. I am not welcome to the wake because of space. I think they have a large chain of families.

I regret very much that I couldn't attend the wake.

I knew him very well. When I was at the university we had many things in common. He was taking medications for his high-blood pressure for more than 10 years. I keep my blood pressure 117/66 thanks to the regular gym training.

High-blood pressure and diabetes are silent killers. He was 64. If you develop high-blood pressure or diabetes, when you are over 50, health problems are inevitable; regular exercises are the best method to counter those health problems.

I told him the following as a friend which I have heard from some doctors.

People who take medications for diabetes, high blood pressure, etc can get a stroke or heart attack at any time.

I tried my level best to pin down him to do some physical activities. I was not successful. You don't have to go to gyms; you can go jogging, cycling etc.

He taught thermodynamics. For me, thermodynamics is the toughest subject. I studied thermodynamics many many years ago. It was a tough subject. He was an ultra clever man.

His wife will invite me to come and visit. Then I will get an opportunity to talk about his qualities with his wife and daughter.

Here it is common to hoist the flag at the wake. When someone dies, they lower the flag. Generally the first item at the wake is to hoist the flag. Once I asked a priest about it. The priest told it meant now the dead man and is in heaven; God is taking care of him.

Here the majority of people belong to the Protestant church. Does the flag hoisting exist in the USA?

It is my understanding the lowering of the national flag after a death of a person exists in almost all cultures. But the hoisting the flag at the wake doesn't sound natural to me.

You might know how these things are in the USA.
I would like to hear from our native US friends about this particular wake tradition.

Do the Americans hoist the flag during the wake?
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I have never heard of a flag being used in any funeral service.

I hope when you visit his wife, you will not talk about how you tried to get him to be healthier and you do not tell her the things you said to him about high blood pressure. That will not be comforting to her at all. It would be good if you talked instead how you think he was clever and nice. I'm sure you alread knew this, but since you posted in the thread twice about how you tried to get him to exercise with you, I was afraid you would try to talk to her about that too. Please don't.
Thanks Grammar Geek for advising me not to talk about his illness when I go there.

I will speak about the things we had in common. I knew him for many years. It would be correct to say that I know everything about him.

I couldn't resist writing his high-blood pressure here; because it caused his death. I feel sorry for the people who take medications for high-blood pressure, diabetes etc.

When I go to wakes it is a habit of talking about the good deeds of the deceased.


I must write again about the flag hoisting during the wake.

In this country, usually, people who live in houses have a pole and on it the national flag is fluttering. This may not be the case in the US culture.

This is not the case for people who live in an apartment.

When someone dies, they lower the flag using the rope. During the wake they hoist it again using the rope.

It indicates that the dead is in heaven and in the hand of God. A priest told me this.

Haven't you heard this in US?

Maybe some US Christians hoist the flag.

In US you find all denominations of the Christian faith.

When an important official dies, you lower the U.S. flag halfway down. This is called flying the flag at hafl-staff (or half-mast, since I'm a Navy gal). It's down for a certain number of days but I honestly don't know how the length of time is determined. At the end of this official period of mourning the flag is raised to its normal position again.

If, for example, a former president dies, flags around the country will be lowered. If a fireman or police officer dies in the line of duty, flags in that town (and often, out of respect, in other local towns at the police station or fire hall) might fly at half-staff for a few days.

I have never (even once) heard it said that because/when the person was raised to heaven, we can raise the flag again. It just marks the end of the offical mourning period.

It's actually not appropriate to lower the American flag for a "regular" person. At least, it used to be against the flag code. I haven't looked to see if it still true. However, if I were to die tomorrow, my company should NOT lower the flag we have flying on our campus. Even if our CEO were to die tomorrow, we should not do that.

If you are referring to a flag other than the American flag, then I guess it's up to the organization that "owns" the flag. If a univerisity had a flag, and a student or faculty member died, they could lower that flag -- just not the U.S. flag.
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Thanks Grammar Geek

You are not going to die tomorrow or in the foreseeable future. Take my word for it.

I worked for the National Defense Research Institute. This was some 10 years ago. We heard the death of an former CEO. They half-mast the national flag. Some times later they hoisted it. I don't know the exact period.

This institute is a big organization. They make JAS fighter jets which is like F16 fighter jets in the US.

I worked at the head office. I had an ordinary job like an office assistant.

I just want to know the traditions in line with wakes.

So this will not take place in the US.

It is common to have the national flag fluttering if you live in a house. This may not be the case in the US.

I don't know.

You have written the following:

It's actually not appropriate to lower the American flag for a "regular" person.

For me, this sounds ordinary Americans worth a bit less than people like Reagan.
The U.S. flag is the flag of our country. It should be lowered for the death of a person who served the country in an official capacity.

Other flags can be lowered to show respect.

No one is worth more or less than another person, but we observe different traditions and rituals for people in different roles. That's all.
Thanks Grammar Geek

Have you heard about the accident of an aircraft in Russia?

One player from this country died in the accident.

He was one of the goaltenders in the national team.

Ice Hockey fans all over the country have lowered the national flag as a mark of respect.

I am not an Ice Hockey fan. I don't know much about those players.


These things are different in different cultures.

Flag hoisting during the wake probably belongs to Scandinavian culture.
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