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There might be an ultimate reason for attending college or university. Most people would like to pursue their careers and they make choices to enter college or university because these institutes can help people find what they’re good at and what they’re interested in and then how they build up requirements which companies claim.

Considering the education system of , students are not easy to have time to ponder upon what they’re truly interested in and what they want to be though they try to memorize what they learn hard for such a long time for their future. They also have limited freedom of experiencing what they haven’t gone through because they’re supposed to stay at school. Therefore, they make decision to go to university to experience in many situations after graduating. They can do volunteer activities in their free time and participate in group activities outside of college or university. Gradually they get to know what they want to do as a social member in the future.

When it comes to people who have already worked in their societies, some people decide to attend college or university to change their career, which means they couldn’t explore what they wanted to do or what they were good at. Others choose college or university for the purpose of getting higher education. As they become used to being in social life, they are aware of the importance of higher education because societies, especially, workplace want to have highly educated people more and more. Besides it tends to give high salary to highly-educated people. Therefore, they try to obtain some knowledge of their course which is very beneficial for getting better jobs.
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Hello, SuJin-- and welcome to English Forums!

I have underlined some problem areas and crossed out unnecessary verbiage:

There might be an ultimate reason for attending college or university. Most people would like to pursue their careers and they make choices to enter college or university because these institutes can help people find what they’re good at and what they’re interested in and then how they build up requirements which companies claim.

Considering the education system of In South Korea, students are not easy to have time to ponder upon what they’re truly interested in and what they want to be though they try to memorize what they learn hard for such a long time for their future. They also have limited freedom of experiencing what they haven’t gone through because they’re supposed to stay at school. Therefore, they make decision to go to university to experience in many situations after graduating. They can do volunteer activities in their free time and participate in group activities outside of college or university. Gradually they get to know what they want to do as a social member in the future.

When it comes to Some people who have already worked in their societies, some people decide to attend college or university to change their career, which means they couldn’t explore what they wanted to do or what they were good at. Others choose college or university for the purpose of getting higher education. As they become used to being in social life, they are aware of the importance of higher education because societies, especially, workplace want to have highly educated people more and more. Besides it tends to give high salary to highly-educated people. Therefore, they try to obtain some knowledge of their course which is very beneficial for getting better jobs.
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Teachers: We supply a list of EFL job vacancies
Hello, Mister Micawber



Thank you for your helpful advices.

I have some problems correcting the errors. I corrected some among these errors, but some I couldn't. I wrote some corrected words in parenthesis and left some areas. Could you check this writing one more time and give me more clues or answers?

Thank you.

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Most people would like to pursue their careers and (their goals, and) they make choices (?) to enter college or university because these institutes can help people (them) find what they’re (they are) good at and what they’re (they are) interested in and how they build up requirements which companies claim (and the institutes encourage them to meet requirments which companies demand).

In South Korea, students are not easy to have time (don't have much time) to ponder upon what they’re (they are) truly interested in and what they want to be though (be while) they try to memorize what they learn for such a long time (?) for their future. They also have limited freedom of experiencing (?) what they haven’t (have not) gone through because they’re (they are) supposed to stay at school. Therefore, they go to university to experience many situations after graduating. They can do volunteer activities in their free time and participate in group activities outside of college or university. Gradually they get to know what they want to do as a social member (a member of the society) in the future.

Some people who have already worked in their societies decide to attend college or university to change their career, which means they couldn’t (didn't) explore what they wanted to do or what they were good at. Others choose college or university for the purpose of getting higher (having further or better) education. As they become used to being in social life (the society), they are aware of the importance of higher education because societies (?), especially, workplace (workplaces) want (?)to have highly educated people. Besides it tends to (Besides, they tend to) give high salary (higher salaries) to highly-educated people. Therefore, they try to obtain some knowledge of (from) their course (courses) which is very beneficial for getting better jobs.
Most people would like to pursue careers, and they make the choice to enter college or university because these institutes can help them find what they are good at and what they are interested in, and ensure that they meet requirements which companies demand.

In South Korea, students do not have much time to ponder upon what they are truly interested in or what they want to be while they are studying so hard for their future. They also have limited outside experience because they are supposed to stay in school. Therefore, they go to university to gain experience. They can do volunteer activities in their free time and participate in extracurricular group activities. Gradually they get to know what they want to do in the future.

Some people who have already experienced the workplace decide to attend college or university to change their career, since they were unable to explore what they wanted to do or what they were good at. Others choose college or university for the purpose of getting further education. As they become used to social requirements, they become aware of the importance of higher education because society generally rewards the highly educated. They get a better education in order to get better jobs.