This is an exercise of IELTS Task 2 that I'm studying. Hope you will help me to improve it.


With the rapid development of information of technology in the recent decays, every areas of entertainment have been changing day by day. One of the most interesting hi-tech industry that people likes is games. So playing games is good?

If we look around you will see that people plays games everywhere, every time such as on streets, in game centers, in parks, at homes and even in schools or offices. With the high technologies, people can enjoy the games in their mobile phones, their PDAs – Personal Digital Assistant, their computers or on some special game consoles. So that we must admit that games is very popular today. With the joining of corporations which lead the world in information technology such as SONY, Microsoft, and billions of dollars investigating for this area, game industry has been becoming more “reality” to our life. Games are divided into many different types, for example: education, real-time, role-playing. People can always find games that match to them. For example a person wants to become a pilot, he can play a game that simulates the flying, and he can control the plan with emulated situations that happen in real life. So he can learn much useful information by playing games.

However, spending too much time playing games is not good. It also means there is no time for other activities. Especially children, they will have no time for doing their homework. Moreover, all day sitting in front of the computers may cause problems for health.

In summary, I strongly agree with the statement. Everything always has both sides: positive and negative, and it all depending on us. Playing games is only useful for a person if he can manage his time sensibly.
The following words and phrases need fixing:

information of technology
every areas
One of the most interesting hi-tech industry
people likes
So playing games is
If we look around you will see
people plays
the high technologies
games is
becoming more “reality” to
match to
example a person
children, they
it all depending

Your essay design is good, but you must save time at the end of the IELTS writing portion of the test so that you can proofread your essay and fix grammar mistakes.
Thanks Micawber for correcting my essay, that is exactly what I need. I think my grammar is not good, There are too many mistakes in my essay. I will have to concentrate on grammar.