Nowadays, the world has a lot of significant changes that give people a chance to live in a comfortable environment. It is believed that people’s life quality has tremendously improved compared with those in the past. In my estimation, I tend to agree with this sentiment.
Admittedly, modern life has had many advances in technology that have facilitated people to interact easily with others and expand their curiosity. With the development of many applications like messenger, facetime, people can contact everyone everywhere without writing letters like in the previous century or moving a far distance. This aspect is useful for telecommuting because people can interact with colleagues and work together when they stay at home. To cite an example, in covid 19 epidemic, with the assistance of technology, students could stay at home and learn with the teacher through ZOOM. It facilitated epidemic preservation and was very effective. What is more, technology gives dwellers a chance to access science. It allows people to access the world of knowledge to get information to expand their brains. They can get there to learn about health and things around them.
In addition, healthcare and education are important factors that cannot undersee. underestimated. Firstly, advances in healthcare have not only reduced the suffering from illnesses, but also extended life expectancy. A good example is people living with HIV, who previously died but nowadays can lead virtually normal live. Secondly, in the present life, it is easy for everybody to access education. Moreover, governments now tend to invest their budget in education to raise literacy levels globally. They provide schools with many facilities so students can have more chances to practice their subject
In conclusion, I think that people have more benefits from living in the 21st century so it is true when saying that it is better than in the past. Everyone should enjoy it full to the fullest.
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Subject: Please review my IELTS essay
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Topic: Copy the essay instructions accurately here.
My essay:
(Your text here...)
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Nowadays, (That does not work in this sentence - "changes" means a span of time. but this is one point in time.) The world has seen a lot of significant changes over the past century (Focus on the topic!) that give people a chance to live in a (It is not about possibilities or chances.) comfortable environment in which to live. It is believed that people’s life quality (wrong phrase) quality of life has tremendously improved compared with those in the past. In my estimation, (repetitive, verbose. The verb "agree" has that same meaning.) I tend to agree with this sentiment.
Admittedly, (wrong usage. ) modern life has had many advances in technology that have facilitated people (wrong usage) to interact easily with others and expand their curiosity. (unnatural) With the development of many applications like messenger, facetime, people can contact everyone everywhere without writing letters like in the previous century or moving a far distance. This aspect is useful for telecommuting because people can interact with colleagues and work together when they stay at home. To cite an example, in the covid 19 epidemic, with computers, smartphones and the internet, the assistance of technology, students could stay at home and learn with the teacher through a ZOOM virtual classroom.. It facilitated epidemic preservation (That makes no sense.) and was very effective. What is more, technology gives dwellers (wrong word. ) a chance (wrong usage. ) to access to scientific information. It allows people to access the world of knowledge to get information to expand their brains. (wrong usage. ) They can get there to learn about health and things around them.
In addition, healthcare and education are important factors that cannot undersee. underestimated. (That makes no sense. I have no idea what you mean.) Firstly, First, advances in healthcare have not only reduced the suffering from illnesses, but also extended life expectancy. A good example is people living with HIV, who previously died but nowadays can lead virtually normal live. (wrong word - live is a verb.) Secondly, Second, in the present day, life, (wrong word. ) it is easy for everybody to access education. Moreover, governments now tend to invest their budget (wrong word. ) in education to raise literacy levels globally. (wrong word. A government can only raise the literacy rates in their own country.)They provide schools with many facilities, such as libraries and computer rooms, so students can do self-study. have more chances to (It seems that your favourite word is "chances". That is not a word that native speakers use very frequently.) practice their subject
In conclusion, I think that people living in the 21st century have more benefits so it is true when saying that it is better than in the past. They are living longer and are healthier and better informed. (The next sentence is off-topic. You are not asked to give any recommendation.) Everyone should enjoy it full to the fullest.
You need to study collocations and vocabulary. "Lexical Resource" is your weakest area.
Task response is good.
Cohesion and coherence is good.
At 312 words, it is slightly too long. Aim for 270-290.