Not recently, but for the last centuries, since people aware of taking care and evaluating the beauty of one self, millions of dollar has been spent on fashion and this trend is pertained to be continue. From my perspective, there are comprehensible reasons for this.

Impersonally speaking, both men and women have the temptation to receive compliments and positive attentions to their look even with some who don’t show much care on the outside. Indeed, fashion industry wisely hits on this basic demand and turn it into something more dramatic as an idea of self as an unique individual, self as better then others. Thus, they constantly change to meet or even overtake the expectations and taste of the majority, create trends , therefore, increase the retails. Also, another significant explanation is the concept of highbrow, a tittle which is used thoroughly by designers and lures most people. And of course, we can’t overlook the power of social networks and technology that make the advertising progress becomes so much easier to reach every corners of the world, broaden the market to the extend it had never been before.

However, there is another type of “make over” enacted on real bodies _ plastic surgery, which I highly oppose. Within this contemporary time, when technology and science approach just about any aspects o f life, changing or having some parts of bodies mended as wishes of the owners has no longer an alien idea. Frankly, it is good and should be recommended in certain cases: when you have an abnormal part on your figure; when you are too ugly that is thwarts you from living a live like an ordinary people; or when you are a spy, an emissary who need to change ID. In fact, there are people that are neither unappealing nor anonymous do surgery just to have bigger breast, their idol’s look, higher noses or even something as nonsense as to get fame. Devoted to this problem, aging is also controversial since many can’t accept the fact that we all get older and change into another type of beauty. They inject Botox to have a smoother skin and erase wrinkles as often as we have vacations and go to spa on almost every weekends. And the consequences are heavy, they lose so much time and money and even risks their health, shorten their longevity.

In conclusion, making up our appearance is a normal activity, not a guilty action, but, rather then changing, we should love and elevate our natural beauty.

Please do not put the essay instructions in the "Subject" line.
Put it with your answer in the message body.

Subject: Please review my IELTS essay

Message body:
Topic: People now spend much time and money on their appearance and pay more attention to their dressing. Give reasons and your opinion on this.

My essay:

(Your text here...)
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Not recently, (So people today don't care about their clothes and makeup?) but for the last centuries, since people aware (wrong verb form) of taking care and evaluating the beauty (unnatural expression) of one self, (wrong usage) millions of dollar (wrong form) has (wrong verb form) been spent on fashion and this trend is pertained (wrong word) to be (wrong verb form) continue. From my perspective, there are many comprehensible reasons for this.


Suggestion:

For centuries, people have been concerned about their appearance, and have spent millions of dollars on clothes, makeup and accessories to make a good impression on the people around them. I completely agree with this observation and predict that the trend of investing in one's image will continue indefinitely into the future.


You have many poor English phrases and mistakes in grammar. I highlight the parts of your text that need to be rewritten.


Impersonally speaking, both men and women have the temptation desire to receive compliments and positive attentions to their look even with some who don’t show much care on the outside. Indeed, the fashion industry wisely takes advantage of hits on this basic demand human need and turn it into something more dramatic as an idea of self as an unique individual, self as better then others. Thus, they constantly change to set meet or even overtake the expectations and taste of the majority, create trends , (ungrammatical series, spacing error) therefore, increase (wrong form) the retails. (wrong word) Also, another significant explanation is the concept of highbrow, a tittle which is used thoroughly (wrong word) by designers and lures most people. And of course, we can’t (wrong form. Do not use contractions in an academic essay.) overlook the power of social networks and technology that make (wrong form) the advertising progress becomes so much easier to reach every corners (wrong form) of the world, broaden the market (ungrammatical series) to the extend (wrong word) it had never been before.

However, (wrong word) there is another type of “make over” enacted on real bodies _ plastic surgery, which I highly oppose. Within this contemporary time, when technology and science approach just about any aspects o f life, changing or having some parts of bodies mended as wishes of the owners has no longer an alien idea. (Poor English) Frankly, it is good and should be recommended in certain cases: when you have an abnormal part on your figure; (??) when you are so too ugly that is thwarts you from living a live (wrong word) like an ordinary people; (wrong word) or when you are a spy, an emissary who need to change ID. (wrong word) In fact, there are people that are neither unappealing nor anonymous (wrong word) do surgery (ungrammatical clause structure) just to have bigger breasts, their idol’s look, higher noses or even something as nonsense as to get fame. Devoted to this problem, (??) aging is also controversial since many can’t accept the fact that we all get older and change into another type of beauty. They inject Botox to have a smoother skin and erase wrinkles as often as we have vacations and go to spa on almost every weekends. (wrong form) And the consequences are heavy, (wrong word) they lose so much time and money and even risks (wrong form) their health, shorten their longevity. (wrong word, ungrammatical series.)

In conclusion, making up (wrong word - being concerned with) our appearance is a normal activity, not a guilty action, but, rather then changing, we should love and elevate our natural beauty.

Students: We have free audio pronunciation exercises.

Thank you so much, AlpheccaStars . I'll definitely fix these mistakes and bad habits in my writting with your helpful notes .