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Full-time university students spend a lot of time studying. Some say they should do other activities too.
To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is evident that a host of undergraduate students are fixated on studying, thus unable to participate in other extracurricular activities due to their hectic schedule. In agreement with the recommendation, I contend that these young adults should endeavor to achieve the ideal work-life balance by devoting a reasonable amount of time to develop their potentials outside of the classroom.

Since it is common knowledge that unlike the younger ones, university students have to brace themselves for the forthcoming job seeker battle, not only is it necessary for them to hone their expertise, but it is also crucial that the youths strive to broaden their repertoire of practical experience. Such real-life values might well become an indispensable part of young people’s lives, no matter wherever they are, or whatever they do, especially they grow into adulthood, making them more profound and shrewd. What is more, young adults may be able to embellish their resume with the experience they have gained through extracurricular activities and impress on recruiters.

Another point worth noticing is that university students are officially adults, meaning that many of them have to shoulder financial burden, academic pressure and are plagued by certain worries, hence the need for participation in other events. This plays a pivotal role in helping them escape their emotional struggle, thus improving their mental well-being and increasing their knowledge absorption capacity. Moreover, being part of activities can facilitate further socialization with others and networking, which might assist them in climbing the corporate ladder in near future, in that it enforces social interactions with others.

Although some people may maintain that as dealing with university workload is distressing enough, joining extracurricular activities will occupy their time for studying and detrimentally affect their academic performance, I hold that the opposite is the case. Instead of separating studying at university and learning by experiencing, both should be closely integrated, because they both provide the opportunities to broaden their horizons and serve as a means to self-improvement. Therefore, it is precipitate to claim that one will wreak havoc on the other, and both deserve efficient allocation of time.

In conclusion, I assert that activities outside of school deserve a fair share in undergraduates’ time in that they benefit students in certain ways. It is vital that these individuals take an advantage of such events in combination with improving academic achievement to become more well-rounded.

(I'm a high school student intent on taking the IELTS exam for the first time next month. Please help assess this essay and make constructive remarks so that I can improve my writing. Thank you in advance.)

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It is evident that a host (not a good word choice) A majority of of undergraduate students are fixated on studying; thus unable they choose not to participate in other extracurricular activities. (In the topic, this is an option for the students. They are not forced to study so much.) due to their hectic schedule. In agreement with the recommendation, I completely agree and contend that these young adults should endeavor to achieve the ideal work-life balance by devoting a reasonable amount of time to activities develop their potentials (These activities are sometimes just for fun and not for development or work experience..) outside of the classroom.

Since it is common knowledge that unlike the younger ones, university students have to brace themselves for the forthcoming job seeker battle, (Is it really a war?) not only is it necessary for them to hone their expertise, but it is also crucial that the youths strive to broaden their repertoire of practical experience. Such real-life values (I don't know what you mean.) might well become an indispensable part of young people’s lives, no matter wherever they are, or whatever they do, (Comma splice error) especially they grow into adulthood, making them more profound (not a good word choice - profound is for subject matter, not people.) and shrewd. What is more, young adults may be able to embellish their resume with the experience they have gained through extracurricular activities and impress on recruiters. (unnatural)

Another point worth noticing is that university students are officially adults, meaning that many of them have to shoulder financial responsibilities in addition to burden, academic pressure and are plagued by certain worries, hence the need for participation in other activities. events. This plays a pivotal role in helping them escape their emotional struggle, thus improving their mental well-being and increasing their knowledge absorption capacity to learn. Moreover, being part of activities can facilitate further socialization with others and networking, which might assist them in climbing the corporate ladder in near future, in that it provides enforces social interactions with others.

Although some people may maintain that as dealing with the university workload is distressing enough, joining extracurricular activities will occupy their time otherwise used for studying and detrimentally affect their academic performance, I hold that the opposite is the case. Instead of separating studying at university and learning by experiencing, both should be closely integrated, because they both provide the opportunities to broaden one's their horizons and serve as a means to self-improvement. Therefore, it is precipitate unreasonable / ludicrous / nonsensical / ridiculous to claim that one will wreak havoc on the other, and both deserve efficient allocation of time.

In conclusion, I assert that activities outside of school deserve a fair share of in undergraduates’ time in that they benefit students in certain ways. It is vital that these individuals take an advantage of them, since such events in combination with studying, they will improving academic achievement to become more well-rounded.

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