+0
I appreciate any feedback, advice and comments you might have regarding the below passage:

Tomorrow is with small vacation rental business!

When we build a business on the Internet, in most cases we naturally wish to become a large-scale, globally known company. No wonder. Now, let me ask you if you feel more comfortable in an over-crowded mall where you are one of hundreds of faceless customers or in a cozy small shop round the corner, where you are one of a few valuable visitors? Do you prefer to be treated like one out of hundreds or like an individual? Do you like when every of your specific need is important to a sales person like his own one?

While you are thinking about this, let me start with my own conclusion: the less business you have, the more are your chances to succeed. Sound unrealistic? Well, how about the facts?

Many thanks to those, who could answer!

+0
Good attack, Kedra, but you need to pare it down more, make it slicker and quicker. Revision is a process of eliminating all the unnecessary verbiage. For instance, this says everything you said-- and it is much easier for the client to read and absorb:

Tomorrow-- small vacation rentals!

When we build an Internet business, we naturally wish to become a large-scale, global company. But, do you feel more comfortable in an overcrowded mall as one of hundreds of faceless customers-- or as a valued guest in a cozy shop? Do you like your specific needs to be as important to a salesperson as his own?

The less business you have, the better are your chances of success. Sound unrealistic? Well, here are the facts:
Comments  
Teachers: We supply a list of EFL job vacancies
Thank you so much, I know redundancy is my problem. The English language is more laconic than my native one. Once again, thank you for your help.
hi iam deepa i have done my bca now currently iam working in salzer electronics ltd