I am new nember from Vietnamese, Please check grammer this letter, thank you very much.



I would like to apply for the Master's Degree in MBA program for the period of 2007-2009, provided by xxxx.

I have completed my Bachelor degree in Information Technology Engineering from Posts and Telecommunications Institute of Technology. After completing the Engineering degree's program, I plan to continue my education and the Master's Degree. My objective is to become a faculty member at a leading university and investigate issues concerned with Business Administrations as it affects organizational strategy, management, and operation.

In 2005, I joined Implement Consultant Oracle department on YYY Corporation and I handled ERP solutions Implement consultant, this helped me become familiar with many aspects of the Account-financial system and Management skills. I developed my professional skills by completing several training courses provided by professional institutions, which helped fine-tune my ability to work hard and with sincerity, persistence, motivation, and resilience.

After two years of work, I have become an ERP (Enterprise Resource Planning) project manager of the largest ICT (Information and communication technology) company in . I am responsible for all ERP project, including Assessment, Gap Analysis, and a Phased Implementation in the areas of: Project Organization, Project People, Project Technology, and Project Processes, Project Management, Program Management, and Project Portfolio Management. I learned how to interact with different people and different personalities. I was able to learn creative organizational skills by handling new project. Moreover, on the begin of 2008 I will setup IT services company. Subsequently, my career continued along another challenging path.

To further my career aspirations of becoming CEO, I realize I must learn and study further, by obtaining a master's degree in XXXX. Having this knowledge will allow me to better management skills. With all the uncertainty and changes in the world - political, economic, and technological. I believe that management must have a solid understanding, supported by a strong academic foundation. By learning XXXX, I will be better positioned to understand various aspects of the issues that so many organizations are facing, and to try to generate solutions to complex problems. I believe obtaining a Master's Degree will provide the necessary background to enable me to anticipate and react to ever-changing environments.

I hope that I will be accepted as an applicant and a beneficiary of the MBA Program in the 2007–2009 academic years. I am confident that I am qualified and prepared to meet all the requirements of the scholarship. I would be grateful if you could give my application your most favourable consideration



Thank you for your help.
Hi,

your letter has many flaws:

1. way too long for a covering letter,

2. your motivation isn't clear after all

3. the letter isn't coherent

4. the letter repeads a bit the information given in the CV. In order to write a good letter you have to pick the points from the CV which fullfil the application criteria

Under this circumstances I have trouble to correct it. Take a good example and write it completely new. I suspekt that the current letter is a translation from your mother tongue. Seek for a good example through the Internet.

Kind regards,

Kathrin
Hi Kathrin,

Thank you for your ideas. Please help me fix this mistakes.

Many thank you.

CFVG
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Dear all,

I am new nember, Please help me check grammer, special red words .Many thank you.

==

My name is Fu. With this letter I would kindly like to introduce my candidature for The MBA Program at xxx starting in the fall of 2007.I have completed my Bachelor degree in Information Technology Engineering from Posts and Telecommunications Institute of Technology. After completing the Engineering degree's program, I plan to continue my education and get the Master's Degree. My objective is to become a faculty member at a leading management university and investigate issues concerned with Business Administrations as it affects organizational strategy, management, and operation.

After two years of work, I have become an ERP (Enterprise Resource Planning) project manager of the largest ICT (Information and communication technology) company in . I am responsible for all ERP project, including Assessment, Gap Analysis, and a Phased Implementation in the of areas : Organization, People, Technology, and Processes. I learned how to interact with different people and different personalities. I was able to learn creative organizational skills by handling new project. Moreover, in the begin of 2008 I will setup IT services company. Subsequently, my career continued along another challenging path.

To further my career aspirations of becoming CEO, I realize I must learn and study further, by obtaining a master's degree in xxxxx. Having this knowledge will allow me to better management skills. I believe that management must have a solid understanding, supported by a strong academic foundation. By learning CFVG, will provide the necessary background to enable me to anticipate and react to ever-changing environments.

I hope that I will be accepted as an applicant and a beneficiary of the MBA Program in the 2007–2009 academic years. I am confident that I am qualified and prepared to meet all the requirements of the scholarship. I would be grateful if you could give my application your most favourable consideration.

==
Dear all,

I am new nember, Please help me check grammer, special red words .Many thank you.

==

My name is Fu. With this letter I would kindly like to introduce my candidature for The MBA Program at xxx starting in the fall of 2007.

I am writing to you in connection with your MBA Programm starting 2007, for which I would like to apply.

I have completed my graduated with a Bachelor degree in Information Technology Engineering from Posts and Telecommunications Institute of Technology, city, Viet Nam/XY in 2000x. After completing the Engineering degree's program, I plan to continue my education and get the Master's Degree. My objective is to become a faculty member at a leading management university and investigate issues concerned with Business Administrations as it affects organizational strategy, management, and operation. Since my goal is to become a faculty member of a leading business university and to deal with issues connected to Business Administration, I am going to continue my education towards the Master's Degree.


After two years of work, working for two years, I have become an ERP (Enterprise Resource Planning), project manager of the largest ICT (Information and communication technology) company in . I am responsible My responsibilities are focused on all ERP project, including Assessment, Gap Analysis, and a Phased Implementation in the of areas : Organization, People, Technology, and Processes. I learned gained experience with regard to the issues how to interact with different people and different personalities. I was able to learn creative organizational skills by handling a new project. Moreover, in the begin of 2008 I will setup IT services company In addition, in the beginning of 2008 I am going to set up the IT services company. Subsequently, my career continued is going to continue along another challenging path.

To further my career aspirations of becoming CEO, I realize have realized, I must learn and study further, by obtaining a master's degree in xxxxx. Having this This additional knowledge will allow me to better extend my management skills. I believe that management good manager must have a solid understanding, supported by a strong academic foundationbackground. By learning CFVG, will provide the necessary background to enable me to anticipate and react to ever-changing environments.The knowlegde of CFVC will enable me to develop in my profession and to cope with the diverse and changing environments.

I hope that I will be accepted as an applicant and a beneficiary of the MBA Program in the 2007–2009 academic years. I am confident that I am qualified and prepared to meet all the requirements of the scholarship. I would be grateful if you could give my application your most favourable consideration.
Thank you for your time and consideration. I look forward to hearing from you

Hi,

I changed a lot but tried to keep the spirit:-) The biggest problem was that you are using always the same types of sentencies (a and b, c and d, e and f) which indicates insecurity with the language and it's bad style:-) In my opinion the last paragraph is inacceptable as no university staff member likes to read something like that. Express you confidence but don't actually use this word and don't be too confident, you are an applicant!

Kind regards,

Your Kathrin
Hi Kathrin,

Thank you very much for your help, it is really usesful for me.

CFVG
Students: Are you brave enough to let our tutors analyse your pronunciation?
Hi Kathrin,

Thank you very much for your help, it is really usesful for me.

CFVG