Hi guys, can anyone help me correct this script ?

I am very happy and thankful for that Emotion: smile

Question: Describe a situation when you celebrate your achievement ?

Answer: Well, I ‘m going to tell you about the time when I celebrated with my friend, who I work with. He is not only my cousin but also a peer who I often spend time hanging out with. If my memory serves me right that was on September 9, 2019, a very special and memorable day, I received some bounties from my boss for having accomplished the task efficiently. So I took a day off from work to hang out with my friends. I invited him to attend a crowded music concert .in the city center. Specifically, you know, We took the bus and kept gossiping until we entered the show. First of all, I woke up very early although I had stayed up late the previous night. I was very sleepy but I tried to stay awake for fear of missing out. Well, he is often late for appointments and in that day, after coming late, he apologized me right away. Actually, it made me feel a bit down in the dump. I still lied that it was OK and I was willing to forgive him but honestly , I was really sick and tired of having waited for so long. We wore the same vest at the concert. After that, we went home and the two of us prepared a lavish meal. In the end, we played table tennis and I won against him, Well, in fact, he was the one who taught me to play table tennis. To be honest, It was a difficult challenge that I thought I couldn't beat off
At the end of the day, both of us played almost all night long, winning him that day plus celebrating my company's accomplishments made me feel so exciting that I couldn't get myself to sleep , that night I was totally fatigued but it was extremely fun, and was a ripple of excitement feelings that I will never dismiss from my mind.

Answer: Well, I ‘m going to tell you about the time when I celebrated with my friend, who I work with. He is not only my friend cousin but also a cousin peer who I often spend time hanging out with. If my memory serves me right, it that was on September 9, 2019, a very special and memorable day, I received some bounties (Did you capture some notorious criminals? Or did he give you chocolate candies?) from my boss for having accomplished the task (what task? You have not mentioned any.) efficiently.


I am out of time and will get to the other paragraphs later.

So I took a day off from work to hang out with my friends. I invited him to attend a crowded music concert .in the city center. Specifically, you know, We took the bus and kept gossiping until we entered the show. (I don't understand why you suddenly switched from the concert to something else. Is it a strange dream? This is incoherent.) First of all, I woke up very early although I had stayed up late the previous night. I was very sleepy but I tried to stay awake for fear of missing out. (Missing out on what?) Well, he (who) is often late for appointments and in that day, after coming late, he apologized to me right away. Actually, it made me feel a bit down in the dumps. I still lied that it was OK and I was willing to forgive him but honestly , I was really sick and tired of having waited for so long. We wore the same identical vests at the concert. After that, we went home and the two of us prepared a lavish meal. In the end, we played table tennis and I beat won against him, Well, in fact, he was the one who taught me to play table tennis. To be honest, It was a difficult challenge that I thought I couldn't pull it off. beat off
At the end of the day, Both of us played almost all night long. Winning the game him that day plus celebrating my company's accomplishments made me feel so excited exciting that I couldn't get myself to sleep. That night I was totally fatigued but totally content. it was extremely fun, and I had ripples of was a ripple of excitement feelings of excitement that I will never forget. dismiss from my mind.

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I learnt a lot from you, my teacher. I can't describe how well you did.

It' s very good . Thanks you very much, Ms AlpheccaStars

Hi Ms AlpheccaStars,

Can I convert some of the incorrect sentences into sentences like this: ?

_We took the bus and kept gossiping for coming to the musical show

_ I received some bonuses from my boss for having accomplished my work efficiently.

_ I had ripples of feelings of excitement that I shall never dismiss them from my mind or " I had ripples of feelings of excitement . May be, I shall never dismiss that day from my mind "

Thanks for viewing my question .

Victor Nguyen I shall never dismiss that day from my mind "

The problem is "dismiss." When a teacher dismisses the students, she gives them permission to leave. Will you give permission to this memory to fade away?

Students: Are you brave enough to let our tutors analyse your pronunciation?

Thanks you very much , my teacher