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Requirement: The chart below shows the total number of minutes (in billions) of telephone calls in the UK, divided into three categories, from 1995-2002.

  • My essay:

The provided bar chart compares how many minutes British people spent on three types of phone during the period from 1995 to 2002.

As is observed, local landline services were responsible for total highest minutes over the period of 7 years. The overall minutes of cellphones and national and international landlines experienced an upward tendency throughout the whole year.

Starting with 70 billion minutes, local-fixed lines gained a huge popularity in 1995, which was much higher than that of mobiles (5 billion minutes) and national and international-fixed line (38 billion minutes). The usage of residental services continued to rise gradually before reaching the vertex of 90 billion minutes, followed by a moderate decline. At the end of the period, the communication via local-fixed lines finished at the same level that it began (70 billion minutes); however, residental services was still the most favourite type of phone calls.

Over the period shown, there was an increase in the total number of minutes spending on national and international landlines. In 1995, around 38 billion minutes consersation was made by national and international-fixed line. Then the quatity of national and international call making went up sequentially to hit the peak in 2002, at 60 billion minutes, which was approximately doubled than that of 1995. Similarly, cell phones showed the same trend. Among 3 types, mobiles witnessed a sharp rise in the quantity. Only 5 billion minutes came from mobiles in 1995, in 2001 the total number of minutes was more than 20 times higher, climaxing at just under 50 billion minutes.

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Please read my advice for Task 1 essays. Also, when you mention data values, be sure to write the correct numbers.

IELTS TASK 1: Hints, Tips And Advice

Vocabulary Words For Task 1: Reference Post



The provided bar chart compares how many minutes British people spent on three types of phone (Incorrect. It is phone calls, not phone.) during the period in each year (This is not a continuous plot of data. The values are yearly.) from 1995 to 2002. (Incomplete. What are the three types of calls?)

It is clear that local landline services were responsible for total highest minutes in each of the seven over the period of 7 years. The overall minutes of cellphones and national and international landlines had experienced an upward trend tendency throughout the whole year. (The whole year is January-December in on year. Where is that on the chart?)

In 1995, local-fixed lines gained (wrong word) a huge (That is not a mathematical word. In Task 1, use mathematical language.) popurlarity (Wrong word. Popular means that people liked it a lot, much more than an alternative.. There is no indication of popularity on this chart.) at just above 70 billion minutes, which was much higher than that of mobiles (5 billion minutes) and national and international-fixed lines (38 billion minutes). The following four years, the usage of 3 (Do not use numerals for quantities that are not data values. Use words.) all three types of telephone calls saw an increase. While residental (Wrong word. There are no residential calls separated out on this chart.) services reached the peak vertex of 90 billion minutes in 1999, the total number of minutes spending on cell phones and national and international landlines was respectively at around 12 billion minutes and 50 billion minutes.

From 1999 onwards, the quatity number of minutes for of mobile and national and international calls making continued to rise gradually. In 2001, the total minutes on of call made by cell phones accounted for well over 40 close to 50 billion minutes, which was highest in this category throughout the period. In 2002, national and international-fixed line showed a the same trend, hitting a the peak of almost 61 billion minutes. In contrast, the usage of local landlines had experienced a moderate decline, finishing at the same level as that it began (72 billion minutes).

Comments  

I see that you posted a slightly different version in another thread.

https://www.englishforums.com/English/PleaseCheckIeltsTask1EssayEssay-DivideDetaiedParagraphAccor...


Why did you do that?

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 AlpheccaStars's reply was promoted to an answer.

I write 2 essays in this task requirement. 2 essays are different in the way I analyze the detailing paragraph. Because I want to find which way is better for me.

Can you help me to check the other one? Thank you so much.

thanhhuyenlc03I write 2 essays in this task requirement. 2 essays are different in the way I analyze the detailing paragraph. Because I want to find which way is better for me. Can you help me to check the other one? Thank you so much.

I write wrote two 2 essays for in this task requirement. 2 The two essays are different in the way I treated the details analyze the detailing paragraph, because I wanted to find which the way that is better for me. Can you help me to and check the other one? Thank you so much.


So thanhhuyenlc03, you received two different sets of comments. What did you learn? Which way is better for you? Will you be able to improve your writing?

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