Hi

Please review my IELTS Task 2 writing.

Some people think that the best way to be successful in life is to get a university education. Others disagree and say this is no longer true.

Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people are of the view that the best way of success in life is to have a university education. But, some others disagree with this view. I partially agree with this view.

The proponents of this view believe being successful in life is to live a simple and contented life. They contend university education enables appreciate simplicity in everything instead of luxury or extravagance. Further, the knowledge they acquire in university enables them find a suitable occupation and take care of their needs and those their family. Additionally, the training they have as university students in life skills such as thinking, problem solving, and decision making enables them to deal with ups and down of life confidently.

The opponents of this view argue that equating success with university education is not reasonable. Their principal argument is success in life is primarily to do with how happy one is. To them, happiness depends on various factors and not necessarily only university education. In their view, a person with a high level of university education can feel sad when his or her research fails to find a place in a reputed journal, whereas, an uneducated person running a small shop can be happy when he has earned enough for the present and the future of his family.

I believe that though university education certainly plays an important role in a person’s success, it is not the most essential factor for happiness which determines one’s success more than anything else because happy depends on various factors based on what people aspire in life.

- The question said nothing about being happy/contented or otherwise. That is outside the scope of this essay. Thus, you need to radically change your body paragraphs (especially the second one).

- You need to give examples of the points you present.

- Pay attention to your grammar. For example, "enables appreciate" is clearly ungrammatical.

Revise and post below.

Thank you very much for your comments. I will do it.

Suresh

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Hi

Please review my IELTS Task 2 writing.

Some people think that the best way to be successful in life is to get a university education. Others disagree and say this is no longer true.

Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people are of the view that one attains the maximum level of success when one has a university education, whereas some others disagree with this view. I partially agree with this view.

The proponents of this view believe that knowledge helps a person become successful in life. They contend that university education enables a person to acquire deep knowledge of a subject and learn important life skills. This helps him in finding a suitable job and support himself and his family. Further, the same knowledge and skills equip the person to face ups and downs of life with equanimity. A person with a post graduate degree in English literature is able to find himself a job, for example, as a teacher or language editor and his deep work into the lives of great writers, poets, and dramatists can prepare him to deal with life’s challenges.

Those who oppose this view argue that success in life can be achieved through many ways and it is not necessarily in having a university education. They believe that perception of success varies from person to person. For example, one can feel that one has the attained the maximum success when one has got a post graduate degree in Hotel Management while another can feel the same level of success or more when he has succeeded in running a roadside restaurant.

In my opinion a university education definitely helps a person secure a job and face life with confidence. However, it is not all right to conclude that university education is the highest level of success because people feel successful based on what they aspire in life and not based on just a university degree.

[ 1] The pressure to achieve material success in life is ever increasing, especially with the complexity of modern life and the rising cost of living. Some people are of the view that one to attain the maximum level of success, when one has needs to have a university education. , whereas some others disagree with this view. I partially agree with this view.

The proponents of this view believe that knowledge [ 2] On the one hand, a university education can help a person become successful in life. They contend that university education It enables a person to acquire deep knowledge of a subject and have a formal qualification in it. learn important life skills. This helps him in finding a suitable job and pursuing a career in a particular field. support himself and his family. [ 3] Further, the same knowledge and skills equip the person to face ups and downs of life with equanimity. For example, a person with a postgraduate degree in English literature is able to find himself a job , for example, as a teacher or language editor almost anywhere in the world. and his deep work into the lives of great writers, poets, and dramatists can prepare him to deal with life’s challenges. Moreover, certain professions, such as law or medicine, necessitate having a university degree.

Those who oppose this view Nevertheless, others argue that success in life can be achieved through many ways and it is not necessarily in having to get a university education to achieve success. They believe that Moreover, the perception of success is an individual attitude and varies from person to person. For example, someone can feel that one has the they have attained the maximum success when one has got they have a postgraduate degree in hotel management, while another can feel the same level of success or more when he has succeeded in running a roadside restaurant.

In my opinion conclusion, a university education definitely helps a person secure a job and face life with confidence. However, it is not all right to conclude does not necessarily follow that university education is the highest level of always a prerequisite for success, because people feel can be successful based on what they aspire to in life. and not based on just a university degree.

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[ 1]: Try to start your introduction with a couple of sentences that present the topic to the reader and provide some background.

[ 2]: Note the topic sentence (general but covers the scope of that paragraph).

[ 3]: Do not stray off topic.

By the way, I never got notification of your reply, hence this late post Emotion: sad. I wonder how many other such blunders has the antiquated forum software caused?

Thank you very much, teechr.

I will go through the changes you have made. Thank you for the suggestions too. I will be careful about them.

Suresh

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