Hi

Please check this IELTS Task 2 writing for me.

Nowadays there is an increase in social problems involving young people because parents spend more time at work than with their children. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Parents have an indispensable role in the growth and behavior of children. In the recent times there has been a considerable increase in the social problems involving young people. Some believe that this is because parents spend more time at work than with their children. I partially agree with this view.

With the needs of modern life and the desire to reach coveted positions in career steadily increase, working parents spend more time at work than at home. This results in children staying alone at home or in the company of friends or neighbors. This puts them in a vulnerable situation as some of those these children hang out with could get them into bad habits or anti-social activities. A report by Narcotics Control Board of India states that from June 2018 to June 2020, around 300 children aged between 14 and 19 were used by drug dealers to peddle a variety of contraband substances and around 70 percent of these children were from homes where parents returned late after work every day.

Those who oppose this view argue that parents’ spending more time at work cannot be the sole reason for children being involved in social problems. An individual’s behavior is governed by his or her thoughts, beliefs, education and approach to life. Studies conducted across the world suggest that young people who have involved directly or indirectly in anti-social activities are from families where both parents spend a significant amount of time their children every day.

In conclusion, there is no denying that parents who have long work hours expose their children certain risks especially if they are alone at home but stating this as the major reason for their involvement in social problems untenable.

I have written the conclusion again.

In conclusion, there is no denying that parents who have long work hours expose their children certain risks especially if they are alone at home, but it cannot be the principal reason for their involvement in social problems as young people's actions are determined primarily by certain innate attributes apart from those they have inherited or imbibed from the parents.

Parents have an indispensable role in the growth and in teaching children appropriate behavior. of children. However in the recent times, there has been a considerable increase in the social problems involving young people. Some believe that this is because parents spend more time at work than with their children. I partially agree with this view.

Those who oppose this view On the one hand some argue that parents’ spending more time at work cannot be the sole reason for children being involved in social problems. An individual’s behavior is governed by his or her thoughts, beliefs, education and approach to life. Studies conducted across the world suggest that young people who have are involved directly or indirectly in anti-social activities are from families where both parents spend a significant amount of time with their children every day. The reasons for children misbehaving are more likely to do with poverty, lack of recreational facilities, and mixing with the wrong people.

With the needs of modern life and the desire to reach coveted positions in career steadily increase, Nevertheless, many working parents nowadays spend more time at work than at home. This results in children staying alone at home or in the company of others, which friends or neighbors. This puts them in a vulnerable situation as some of those these children hang out with could get them can be led by others into acquiring bad habits or being involved in anti-social activities. A report by Narcotics Control Board of India states that [ 1] from June 2018 to June 2020, around 300 children aged between 14 and 19 were many young unsupervised children are used by drug dealers to peddle a variety of contraband substances, and around 70 percent the majority of these children were from homes where parents returned late after from work every day.

In conclusion, there is no denying that parents who have long work hours expose their children to certain risks especially if they are alone at home, but it cannot be the principal that is not the only reason for their involvement in social problems as young people's actions are largely influenced by well-known socioeconomic factors as well as by peer pressure. determined primarily by certain innate attributes apart from those they have inherited or imbibed from the parents.

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[ 1]: Do not make up fake examples.

Students: We have free audio pronunciation exercises.

Thank you very much, teechr.

I have gone through the changes and will go though them again before I write another one.

teechr[ 1]: Do not make up fake examples.

Okay. Could you tell me what I could do when I am unable to come up with suitable relative examples?

teechrThe reasons for children misbehaving are more likely to do with poverty, lack of recreational facilities, and mixing with the wrong people.

I see this as an example of a transition sentence; that is, in the next paragraph we refer to children getting involved in social problems (because of their mixing with wrong people).

I find it very helpful as I have always wanted to add a transition sentence but been unable to construct one of my one. It was probably because I had not known as to the idea it should convey.

Thank you

Suresh

vsureshOkay. Could you tell me what I could do when I am unable to come up with suitable relative examples?

Use the modified version of that sentence. That does not involve fake data.

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teechrUse the modified version of that sentence. That does not involve fake data.

Okay. Thank you, teechr.

Suresh