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Topic:

The line graph below shows changes in the amount and type of fast food consumed by Australian teenagers from 1975 to 2000.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

My writing:

The graph depicts the variations in number and kinds of fast foods consumption among Australian teenagers from 1975 to 2000. It can be seen that pizza consumption is on the growth as a popular trend among teenagers over the 25- year period as a big change in their eating habit.

The highest quantity belonged to hamburgers consumption with a strong increase by over 90 times from 1975 to 2000. Starting at only 10, the figures rapidly in rise nearly 80 within 30 years. From 1980 to 1985 it continued to slightly increase by nearly 20 and then remained stabilized 18 years after that period compared to hamburgers consumption, the period witnessed a considerable drop in fish and chips as a new trend in fast food. The period from 1975 to 1980 saw a slight drop from 100 to nearly 20 in 15 years. The amount showed different result when it showed a increase by approximately 10 in 15 years later. However, it started to drop substantially to 40 times between 1980 and 2000.

The line for pizza consumption showed significant increase. The figure rise by nearly 5 times from 1975 to 1980, almost doubled that of 1980 within 15 years later and then rocketed by 70% when it reached 1995. However, between 1995 and 2000, it remained stabilized at over 80 times.

Your essay is too long (over 220 words). Aim for 170-190 for Task 1.

1. Paragraph 1 describes the figure, but not anything about the data values. Be very clear in your description. Give the subject plotted, the time frame, categories, and units of measure. You can write one two or even three sentences if necessary.

For example:

The line graph compares the number of times per year that teenagers in Australia ate various types of fast food between 1975 and 2000. Three types are shown: Pizza, Hamburger and Fish and Chips.

2. Paragraph 2 gives your most important observations (main features).

3. Paragraph 3 gives details, focusing on combining categories and comparing them.

The graph (what kind of graph?) depicts the variations in number and kinds of fast foods consumption among Australian teenagers from 1975 to 2000. (The description is very incomplete. You have changed paragraph topics, so you need to start a new paragraph.) It can be seen that (Those words convey no information abut the data. Delete them.) pizza became more popular consumption is on the growth as a popular trend among teenagers over the 25- year period as a big change in their eating habit. (You need more than one "main feature." Write two, or even three.)

The highest quantity (wrong word.) belonged to hamburgers consumption with a strong increase by over 90 times (The reader is confused because you have never mentioned the units of measure on the graph. 90 times means "multiply by 90" ) from 1975 to 2000. Starting at only 10 (10 what?) , the figures numbers rapidly in rise nearly 80 (very poor English) within 30 years. (What 30 years are you talking about? The graph has only 25 years of data.) From 1980 to 1985 it continued to slightly increase by nearly 20 and then remained stabilized (unnatural) 18 years after that period compared to hamburgers consumption, the period witnessed (wrong word. Time periods do not see or witness or experience. Only humans do these actions.) a considerable drop in fish and chips as a new trend (This is an opinion or conclusion.) in fast food. The period from 1975 to 1980 saw (wrong word) a slight (An 80-point change is not "slight") drop from 100 to nearly 20 in 15 years. The amount showed different result when it showed a increase by approximately 10 in 15 years later. However, it started to drop substantially to 40 times between 1980 and 2000.

The line for pizza consumption showed a significant increase. The figure rise by nearly 5 times (unclear. ) from 1975 to 1980, almost doubled (wrong verb form) that of 1980 within 15 years later (That is not a good time expression.) and then rocketed (Do not use emotional explosive words in Task 1. ) by 70% when it reached 1995. However, between 1995 and 2000, it remained stabilized at over 80 times.

Most of your writing is very unclear and unnatural. It is difficult to understand. Keep practicing. You will improve as you learn natural expressions, collocations and vocabulary for this Task. It is very different from Task 2.

Focus on writing short sentences that clearly express your ideas. Just describe the data. Do not express deductions, conclusions or opinions.

You will not get a high score if the only thing you do is copy the data values from the graph into words in the paragraphs. Learn how to combine categories and compare them.

Students: Are you brave enough to let our tutors analyse your pronunciation?

I hope that you send me a sample essay so that I can improve my writing skill.

Sample essay:

Paragraph 1: Describe the graphic

Paragraph 2: Pick out 2 or three main features.

Paragraph 3: Write about comparisons and a few details. For a higher score add up the numbers at the beginning and end of the period.

The line graph compares the frequency that teens in Australia consumed three types of fast foods, (pizza, hamburgers and fish and chips) between 1975 and 2000.

Overall, teenagers partook of fast food meals much more often in 2000 than they did in 1975. Initially, fish and chips was the most popular choice, but it fell to third place in 2000. Hamburgers and pizza were rarely eaten in 1975.

In 1975, teenagers enjoyed fast food about 120 times a year, or 10 times per month. Five out of six of those meals were fish and chips; they ate hamburger and pizza less than once a once a month. Over the period, this strong preference for fish and chips declined by more half to about 3- 4 times monthly (39 times per year). The opposite trend can be seen in hamburgers and pizza. In 2000, hamburger was eaten as often as fish and chips were twenty-five years earlier, 100 times annually. Pizza, at 83 times/year, was second choice. Compared to 1975, Australian teens ate nearly twice as many fast food meals, at just over 220 yearly, between 18 and 19 times per month.

Thank you so much!

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