The line graph illustrates the tendency of population statistic in Scotland from 1940 to 2020. It is clear that the percentage of the death rate is only rising while the proportion of birth rate and population extend decreased.

The proportion of deaths started at 1.5 percent before there was a drop significantly in the next twenty years at 0.5 percent. However, the demise rate unchanged until it went down slightly with 0.3 percent in 1980. After that, the rate of death was stable again for twenty years and then it increased dramatically in the next two decades with almost 1.0 percent in 2020.

In contrast, the percentage of birth and population extend stood at 2.5 percent and nearly 1.0 respectively in 1940. Thereafter, the figure dropped slightly in 1945 before it peaked at over 2.0 percent for birth rate and 1.5 percent for population growth rate. Moreover, the rate of two categories fluctuated in the following fifteen years. After that, the rate of resident extends


decreased to 0 percent until 2005 whereas the rate of birth went down slightly at 0.5 percent in 2020.

P/s: If you think some words or sentences should be changed, please make suggestions to help me improve my writing skill.

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The line graph illustrates gives / shows / plots / depicts the tendency of population statistic (Completely wrong. ) in Scotland from 1940 to 2020. (You must begin a new paragraph when you stop describing the figure and begin to write about the main features.) It is clear that the percentage of the death rate (no, no, no!. The statistic is the death rate, not the percentage of death rate.) is only rising while the proportion (wrong word. These are not proportions.) of birth rate and population extend (wrong word) decreased.

The proportion of deaths (Wrong phrase) started at 1.5 percent before there was a drop significantly in the next twenty years at 0.5 percent. However, the demise (no, no, no!) rate unchanged until it went down slightly with 0.3 percent in 1980. After that, the rate of death (no, no, no!) was stable again for twenty years and then it increased dramatically in the next two decades with almost 1.0 percent in 2020.

In contrast, the percentage of birth and population extend (no, no, no!) stood at 2.5 percent and nearly 1.0 respectively in 1940. Thereafter, the figure it dropped slightly in 1945 before it peaked at over 2.0 percent for birth rate and 1.5 percent for population growth rate. Moreover, the rate of two categories (no, no, no!) fluctuated (wrong word) in the following fifteen years. After that, the rate of resident extends (no, no, no!) decreased to 0 percent until 2005 whereas the rate of birth (no, no, no!) went down slightly at 0.5 percent in 2020.


Demographic statistics have very precise definitions and fixed names. You cannot change them or substitute words. If you do so, the term you have invented is scientifically meaningless.

The crude birth rate is the number of live births occurring among the population of a given geographical area during a given year, per 1,000 mid-year total population of the given geographical area during the same year.

The crude death rate is the number of deaths occurring among the population of a given geographical area during a given year, per 1,000 mid-year total population of the given geographical area during the same year.

The population growth rate is the rate at which the number of individuals in a population increases in a given time period, expressed as a fraction of the initial population. Specifically, population growth rate refers to the change in population over a unit time period, expressed as a percentage of the number of individuals in the population at the beginning of that period.

Note that the population growth rate is highly dependent on both the birth rate and death rate. For example, if very few babies are born, and many people die, the population will shrink, as indicated by a negative population growth rate. If lots of babies are born, and people live very long lives, the population will boom, or grow at a high rate. In this graph, you can see that there is a high degree of correlation between the birth rate and the population growth rate. Of course immigration and emigration trends will affect this metric..

Please rewrite your essay. Remember that when demographic statistics and other precisely-defined measurements are plotted, their names cannot be changed.

Thank you for your advice.

I have some questions about the essay.

1. Are there any mistakes about grammar in my essay?

2. My essay has nearly 190 words so I think the length of it is quite long. Therefore can you help me reduce the length of the assay.

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tham pham1. Are there any grammatical mistakes about grammar in my essay?

Yes.

tham pham2. My essay has nearly 190 words so I think the length of it is too quite long. Therefore can you help me reduce its the length? of the assay.

I will be happy to help you, but you have to revise your essay first, using the correct names of the three measurements. Then we can focus on the grammar, spelling and punctuation.

Hi AlpheccaStars,

Please kindly help me check my essay.

The death rate started at 1.5 percent before there was a drop significantly in the next twenty years at 0.5 percent. However, the death rate unchanged until it went down slightly with 0.3 percent in 1980. After that, the death rate was stable again for twenty years and then it increased dramatically in the next two decades with almost 1.0 percent in 2020.

In contrast, the birth rate and population growth rate stood at 2.5 percent and nearly 1.0 respectively in 1940. Thereafter, the figure dropped slightly in 1945 before it peaked at over 2.0 percent for birth rate and 1.5 percent for population growth rate. Moreover, the birth rate and population growth rate fluctuated in the following fifteen years. After that, the population growth rate decreased to 0 percent until 2005 whereas the birth rate went down slightly at 0.5 percent in 2020.

Hi AlpheccaStars,

Please kindly help me check my introduction

The line graph shows the demographic trends in Scotland from 1940 to 2020. Overall, the death rate is only rising while the birth rate and population growth rate decreased.

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tham phamThe line graph shows the demographic trends in Scotland from 1940 to 2020. Overall, the death rate is only rising while the birth rate and population growth rate decreased.

You need to learn about paragraphing.

A paragraph is text about one particular focused subject.

In IELTS Task 1, the subject of the first paragraph is a description of the figure. Tell the reader the subject, the type of graphic or graphics, how many items there are, the categories, the time frame, and the units of measure.

The second paragraph gives the main features (the content).

The third paragraph is interesting details and comparisons.

You failed to follow the basic rules of paragraphing. Your first paragraph did two different things; it described the graph AND the content.

Here is a sample first paragraph:

The line graph plots three demographic measurements for Scotland over the past eighty years, from 1940 to 2020. Three statistics are shown, the birth rate, the death rate, and the overall population growth rate.

Here is a sample second paragraph:

Overall, all three measures exhibited downward trends through most of the period. There was a notable high positive correlation between the population growth rate and the birth rate. The death rate plateaued from 1980 to 2010 and then began an ascending pattern.

You are missing the first two paragraphs, the introduction (paragraph #1) and the main features (paragraph #2).

Your writing is not good. It does not follow the instructions. You are supposed to make comparisons. You mainly wrote about each curve independently and described it in exacting detail. That is not a good way to get a high mark for Task 1. The best Task1 essays show that you can generalize, find the most salient points and combine or group categories.

The prepositions are mostly incorrect. You need to study this "line graph" prepositions.

"in" - e.g. "in 2010" - the change happened in this one year.
"over, during, between X and Y" - the change happened over a time span. e.g. between 1940 and 1960 / over the twenty-year period from 1940 to 1960 / during the first twenty years.

from value 1 to value 2

The transition words (however, moreover and in contrast ) are not used correctly.
You need to study the judicious use of pronouns.



The death rate started at 1.5 percent before there was a and dropped significantly over in the next twenty years to at 0.5 (Wrong value - 0.4 %) percent. However, (Wrong transition word) After that, the death rate it (You need to learn how to use pronouns to avoid repetition.) unchanged until it went down slightly with to 0.3 percent between 1976 and 1983. in 1980. After that, it stayed at that value the death rate was stable again for twenty years. The trend reversed around 2010 and then it doubled increased dramatically in over the next two decades with almost 1.0 percent in 2020.

In contrast, The birth rate and population growth rate stood at 2.5 percent and nearly 1.0 respectively in 1940. Thereafter, the figure (wrong word and wrong form) they dropped slightly in (wrong preposition) 1945 before it ("it" is for one thing. You need a plural pronoun) both of them peaked at over 2.0 percent for birth rate and 1.5 percent for population growth rate. Moreover, (Wrong transition word) the birth rate and population growth rate showed a declining trend fluctuated (wrong word) in the following fifteen years. After that, the population growth rate decreased to 0 percent until 2005 whereas the birth rate went down slightly at 0.5 percent in 2020.

Hi AlpheccaStars,

Can you tell me does the outline can use for all types of task 1(except diagram?) or only use for line chart?

In IELTS Task 1, the subject of the first paragraph is a description of the figure. Tell the reader the subject, the type of graphic or graphics, how many items there are, the categories, the time frame, and the units of measure.

The second paragraph gives the main features (the content).

The third paragraph is interesting details and comparisons.

Thank you.

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