Hi everyone,

My presentation is on monday and I have prepared a meterial for that please help me to improve it.Thanks in advance.

Material is as following:

Hi,

My name is Umair and I’m goanna talk to you on the 5th c of effective communication. It is clarity. This word is deriving from the English word “clear”. So we can state the main purpose of clarity is the make you speech more understandable by using simple words and by constructing effective sentences and paragraphs.

In accordance with upper definition we say easily say that clarity has two main points.

Number one: choosing precise, familiar and common words.

Number two: is to construct effectual sentences and paragraphs.

According to first point, our word selection should be very easy to understand and it should be consisting on very familiar and common words. Like if we use the word “diversity”, most of us may not understand what does it mean but instead of it, if we use the word “supposition” or “hypothesis” it would be more easier to understand than that and everyone can make a guess about it that it would be giving the mean of “thinking”. In the same sense, we also should not use Latin terms like e.g, circa and etc. Instead of that we should use some appropriate English synonyms of it.

Although it is appropriate to use technical terms and business jargons in some professional situation but avoid it when you communicate with a person who is not familiar with these terminologies. If these terms are necessary to use, then you must define them briefly and clearly. If you don’t you may embarrass and confuse the reader. You may enforce to explain later. So always remember the reader’s capability to understand things like if you are talking with an illiterate person who even cannot understand Urdu and you are using English words with him he shall think that even you know his mental ability and than what the hell of you are saying. So we can say that understanding the audience helps writer to choose familiar words.

Now let us come to our second point, which is to construct effective sentences and paragraphs. It has several other points to remember.

First one is the length of the sentence and shorter sentences are more preferable than longer one and the recommended length of an average sentence is 17 to 20 words because more words may divert reader’s attention and may lose its attraction.

The second one is your sentence should be strict with the basic theme of your message and your all sentences should indicating the main idea.

The third point is coherence. In the coherent sentence the words are correctly arranged so that the ideas clearly express the intended meaning.

The forth and the last point is to concentrate and give most of your importance on main idea in the largest part of your speech and in your written material.
hmmmmmmm 15 views and still no reply.....am i perfect Emotion: stick out tongue
Hi,

To make your speech effective, you need to practise what you preach-use simple words and "construct effective sentences and paragraphs".

Highlighted some things for you to fix. I'm not going to pick on your grammar as much since this is a speech.

My name is Umair and I’m goanna talk to you on the 5th c of effective communication. It is clarity. This word is deriving from the English word “clear”. So we can state the main purpose of clarity is the make you speech (clunky) more understandable by using simple words and by constructing effective sentences and paragraphs.

In accordance with upper definition (wordy) we say easily say that clarity has two main points.

Number one: choose precise, familiar and common words.

Number two: is to construct effectual sentences and paragraphs.

According to first point, our word selection should be very easy to understand and it should be consisting on very familiar and common words. (Simplify) Like if we use the word “diversity”, most of us may not understand what does it means but instead of it, if we use the word “supposition” or “hypothesis” it would be more easier to understand than that and everyone can make a guess about it that it would be giving the mean of “thinking”. (Does not make any sense) In the same sense, we also should not use Latin terms like e.g, circa and etc. Instead of that we should use some appropriate English synonyms of it.

Although it is appropriate to use technical terms and business jargons in some professional situation, but avoid it when you communicate with a person who is not familiar with these terminologies. If these terms are necessary to use, then you must define them briefly and clearly. If you don’t you may embarrass and confuse the reader. You may enforce to explain later. So always remember the reader’s capability to understand things like if you are talking with an illiterate person who even cannot understand Urdu and you are using English words with him he shall think that even you know his mental ability and than what the hell of you are saying.(Unclear. And too long.) So we can say that understanding the audience helps writer to choose familiar words.

Now let us come to our second point, which is to construct effective sentences and paragraphs. It has several other points to remember.

First one is the length of the sentence and shorter sentences are more preferable to longer ones and the recommended length of an average sentence is 17 to 20 words because more words may divert reader’s attention and may lose its attraction. (This sentence has more than 20 words)

Second, is your sentence should be strict (wording) with the basic theme of your message and your all sentences should indicating the main idea.

The third point is coherence. In the coherent sentences the words are correctly arranged so that they ideas clearly express the intended meaning.

The forth and the last point is to concentrate and give most of your importance on the main idea in the largest part of your speech and in your written material.
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Julie's comments are always wonderful, but I just want to add this:

Do NOT start a speech on communication using the phrase "I'm gonna."
thanks julielai and Grammar Geek for your suggestion Emotion: big smile