Please check my essay and consider whether it reach B2+ level or not. Besides, please check the coherence and effectiveness of ideas, are they fully supported? Thanks a lot

TOPIC: Overpopulation of urban areas has led to numerous problems. Identify one or two serious problems and suggest ways that government and individuals can tackle these problems.

DRAFT 2:

Overpopulation is one of serious issues that most urban areas in the world are facing nowadays. The United Nations Department of Economic and Social Affairs (2018) claims that “55% of the world’s population lives in urban areas, a proportion that is expected to increase to 68% by 2050”. The populace soars cause multiple problems for metropolitan regions, particularly air pollution and unemployment. Thus, both government and individuals have to find solutions to overcome them.

First and foremost, the population explosion might lead to air pollution. There is an increase in air pollutants in metropolitan regions resulting from human activities. Emissions of air contaminants is caused by different anthropogenic processes, especially due to burning of fossil fuels from vehicles. The use of fossil fuels from transportation releases dangerous toxins into the atmosphere and poses numerous threats to the inhabitants. To illustrate, Bezuglaya (1996) reports that emissions and concentrations of CO and NO2 have risen by more than 10% in the last ten years in selected cities in the Russian Federation, as the results of the increasing number of defective motor vehicles on urban motorways (as cited in Mayer, 1999).

To tackle this issue, governments and individuals from other cities can consider China's solutions. The effective methods adopted in this country are pushing to abandon fossil fuels as well as the reduction in conventional vehicles and switching to electric vehicles. According to Beall (2018), China ranks first worldwide in electric vehicle usage with 777,000 new electric vehicles sold in 2017, which increased 53% in comparison with 2016. In Beijing, "fines for pollution topped $28 million in 2015". The amount of PM2.5, particles with a diameter of fewer than 2.5 micrometers, decreased markedly by 27% between 2013 and 2016 in the Beijing-Tianjin-Hebei region, which can prove the efficiency of these strategies (Beall, 2018).

A second consequence of civic overcrowding is unemployment. Wei (2011) states that in China, the growth of metropolitan population can be correlated with a massive surge in the employable urban labor force: “about 81 million or some 75% of the total increase in labor supply nationwide”. In 2004, “the figure total labor supply reached 768 million, which is about 18% larger than that of 1991” (Wei, 2011). This growth in labor participation in inner-cities has exceeded that of labor demand by a wide margin. For this reason, the competition for searching a promising career is getting fiercer along with urban joblessness. Of the statistics gathered by the State Statistical Bureau of China, in 2004, the economy-wide official idleness ratio in urban localities was 4.1%, which involved more than 8 million employed (cited in Wei, 2011).

To address the high rate of joblessness, authorities and citizens need to have appropriate remedies. A solution is for the government is to promote job creation in the private sector, thereby increasing job opportunities in urban areas. Simultaneously, individuals can significantly contribute to combatting the issue by become self-employed. For instance, in China, in recent years, about 80-90% of laid-off workers joined non-governmental and small businesses or engaged in self-employment; as a result, the private sector accounted for two-thirds of total urban employment and one-third of formal employment in 2004. (Betcherman & Blunch, 2006; Giles, Park & Cai, 2006 cited in Vodopivec & Tong, 2008).

In conclusion, the overcrowding is a pressing issue in urban areas, which results in the seriously polluted air and the decreasing labor employment proportion. Hence, restricting fossil fuels and promoting electrical vehicles utilization as well as encouraging the development of private sector and increase of self-unemployment can be practical approaches to ameliorate these situations.

(Total: 594 words)

References

Beall, A. (2018). How China can help London fix its air pollution crisis. No, seriously. Retrieved from https://www.wired.co.uk/article/london-air-pollution

Mayer, H. (1999). Air Pollution in Cities. Atmospheric Environment, 33(24), 4029-4037. doi:10.1016/S1352-2310(99)00144-2

United Nations Department of Economic and Social Affairs (UN DESA). (2018). 2018 Revision of World Urbanization Prospects | Multimedia Library - United Nations Department of Economic and Social Affairs. Retrieved from https://www.un.org/development/desa/publications/2018-revision-of-world-urbanization-prospects.html

Vodopivec, M., & Tong, M. H. (2008). China: Improving Unemployment Insurance. Retrieved from http://siteresources.worldbank.org/SOCIALPROTECTION/Resources/SP-Discussion-papers/Labor-Market-D...

Wei, G. (2011). China’s Urban Unemployment Challenge [PDF file]. International Journal of Business and Social Science, 2. Retrieved from http://ijbssnet.com/journals/Vol._2_No._4;_March_2011/3.pdf

GROUP 3 - 18E15 - ULIS

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