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Dear Teachers,
Could you do grammatical corrections to the following sentences?
Thank You Very Much!!!

1. When one’s mind falls into contradictory state with the body, afflictions will arise in one's mind.

2.When one is confined in one’s subjective thoughts, one feel afflicted easily. One may complain about one’s situation without finding one has been very lucky and blissful. One may take what one has and others’ help for granted without feeling gratitude.

3.Whenever I had to do something that I thought is a meaningless thing, I would do it without much concern. However, I found meaningless things I thought include a lot of things.

4.Different people have differing goals to reach. When the motive behind a person’s goal is to earn others’ praise or applause, the person may not gain inner happiness and contentment.

By Yang Chih-Chieh
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Other than stylistic, IMHO your sentences are good. You use "one" instead of "you", which is clearly British. What I would recomend is to try to avoid the repetition of "one" by means of changing the style somehow.

For example, in "When one’s mind falls into contradictory state with the body, afflictions will arise in one's mind", I would omit the final "in one's mind". Finally, the adjective "differing" sounds a bit strange to me, but I guess is correct.

Hope this helps! Emotion: smile
Comments  
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Hello

I have a few suggestions.

No.1
"When one's mind falls into a contradictory state ..."

No.2
"One may complain about one’s situation without finding one has been very lucky and blissful."

There is a problem with the underlined words. I would analyse it as follows:
"without" after a clause would usually introduce an adverbial phrase telling us something about the action, which in this case is "complaining". For instance:
"One may complain ... without shame."
"One may complain ... without good reason."
"One may complain ... without getting any response."
etc.

What I think you want to say is that two things are happening simultaneously: the complaining, and the lack of awareness of the true state of affairs. "Finding" doesn't really fit, because there is no searching going on.

How about this:
"One may complain about one's situation and not realise that one has ..."
This would make it a compound verb "complain" and "[not] realise".

"One may take what one has and others’ help for granted without feeling gratitude."
There is a subtle failure of parallelism here that makes the sentence a little awkward.

"One may take" two things for granted:
1. What one has (noun clause)
2. Others' help (adjective + noun)

Better would be two noun clauses: "... what one has and what one gets ..."
or, two nouns: "... our own possessions and others' help ..."

No.3
There is an arbitrary change in tense. It should read, "... I had to do something that I thought was meaningless, ..."

"However, I found meaningless things I thought include a lot of things."
This is unclear. I can't determine the meaning of this sentence.

No.4
I agree with the previous respondent that "differing" is not quite right. I think the -ing participle form carries a slight hint of action - a process going on - whereas "different" is a straighfoward adjective.

Cheers

John.
John,
Thank You Very Much!!!

Could I send you my sentences by email or you like to correct on the forum?

See You!!!

Charlie
Hi Raul,
Thank You Very Much!!!!

Best regards,
Charlie
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Hi Charlie

Better to keep them in the forum I think. I'm a student of English too, so some of my advice may need correcting by others.

Also, it's interesting for everyone else to see the questions and answers.

Cheers

John.