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In the modern world it is possible to shop, work and communicate with people via the internet and live without any face-to-face contact with others. Is this a positive or negative development?


Thanks to improvements of digital technologies, people can nowadays choose, buy and contact to sellers in an online way, without any practical contacts. Although many arguments showed to concern about potentially risks of online shopping, I personally believe that this is assuredly a positive development.

At first, traditional shops and malls, which is just located in certain areas and just opened in certain time, usually do not supply adequate services to meet an increasing demand of customers. Online shops, which can receive orders from every location and every time, can act as an effective solution for high demanded people. For example, people must visit digital centers to buy a disc of software, it may take time for traveling and the center only open during daytime, this is difficult for people who have limited leisure time.

Secondly, online shopping has allowed people to approach a larger amount of products. The internet nowadays can connect people between country and country, customers therefore can gain the chance to buy products, which is signature of faraway nations. As an illustration, Vietnamese American, who have a huge demand to buy traditional Vietnamese clothes like Ao Dai, can choose to order those products on the Internet and wait for receiving their products instead of spending time for fly back to Vietnam.

Finally, online shopping can supply a source of jobs for people. Throughout the development of online business, a certain number of people found their opportunity to gain jobs, such as shipper and online service supporter. For example, universities’ students can work as a shipper whenever they have free time, this part time job can help them gain a budget for books and for survival.

Finally, I totally think that online shopping is a positive development, this type of business has benefited several people, both businessmen and customers.

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You make frequent comma splice errors, five in this essay. Study this page: https://www.grammarly.com/blog/comma-splice/



Thanks to improvements of digital communications technology, people can nowadays choose, buy and contact to sellers in an online way, without any practical contacts. (physical contact) Although many arguments showed to concern (unnatural) about potentially (wrong form) risks of online shopping, (Although there are many arguments which mention the potential risks,) I personally believe that this is assuredly a positive development.

At f First, traditional shops and malls, which is (wrong form) just located in certain areas and just opened in (wrong word - at) certain time, (wrong form) usually do not supply adequate services to meet an increasing demand of customers. Online shops, which can receive orders from every location and every all the time, can act as an effective solution for high demanded people. For example, people must visit digital centers (computer stores) to buy a disc of software, (comma splice error) it may take time for traveling and the center (missing words) only open during the daytime, (comma splice error) this is difficult for people who have limited leisure time.

Secondly, Second,online shopping has allowed people to approach (wrong word ) a larger amount (wrong word - number, variety) of products. The internet nowadays can connect people between country and country, (comma splice error) customers therefore can gain the chance to buy products, which is signature of faraway nations. (I don't know what you mean.) As an illustration, Vietnamese American, who have a huge demand to buy traditional Vietnamese clothes like Ao Dai, can choose to order those products on the Internet and wait for (wrong word ) receiving (wrong form) their products instead of spending time for (wrong word ) fly back to Vietnam.

Finally, online shopping can supply a source of jobs for people. Throughout the development of online business, a certain number of people found their opportunity to gain jobs, such as shipper and online service supporter. For example, universities’ (wrong form) students can work as a shipper whenever they have free time, (comma splice error) this part time job can help them gain a budget (wrong word ) for books and for survival.

Finally, I totally think that online shopping is a positive development, (comma splice error) this type of business has benefited several people, both businessmen and customers.

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Comments  

Dear Alpheccastars,

Thank you a lot for your very helpful corrections. I am working harder to correct my personal mistake.

Thank you,

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