Topic : Today, the high sales of popular consumer goods reflect the power of advertising and not the real needs of the society in which they are sold. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The powerful impact of advertising on unnecessary consumer demands has been receiving a great deal of public attention. From my perspective, I totally agree with this statement

There are a handful of reasons why advertising could boost sales even though they are not real needs of people. First, since products always appear with glossy images, consumers are tempted to buy these products. In fact, these images are colorful with well-designed looks, which triggers people’ desire to owing it. Second, by running promotion campaigns, manufacturers or businesses would create a buying-craze. This means that many frequent promotion events such as buy one get one and discount up to 80% could prompt customers to buy more goods without consideration

Furthermore, the power of advertising has a strong impact on making people buy products constantly in some way. Firstly, in order to attract people to buy more items, businesses implement advertising strategy with celebrity endorsement. For example, Nike opted Cristiano Ronaldo for the brand ambassador of their sneaker items, or Taylor Swift was the representative of Coca Cola, which entices a huge number of fans to purchase these items due to their idols rather than actual demands. Secondly, if adverts are displayed on social media in people’ leisure time, consumers tend to buy commodities with an aim to relax. Plenty of evidence suggests that many well-known brands such as Zara and H&M invest a large amount of money in broadcasting their advertisements at lunch time or at night, which immerses people into shopping to get a sense of relaxation

In conclusion, with the convincing argument mentioned above, advertising has a strong effect on increasing sales of consumer products although they are not the actual needs of the community. By creating a multitude of promotion events, customers are easily paid attention to buy more goods which are not necessary.

The powerful impact of advertising on unnecessary consumer demands (not a good expression) has been receiving a great deal of public attention. (That is not a good paraphrase. There is no mention of public attention in the essay prompt. It seems like you have memorized this pattern, and it will not get you a good score.) From my perspective, I totally agree with this statement (missing punctuation.)


Also, it is not what you want. You are agreeing that "this has been receiving public attention. "
That is not what you are supposed to be agreeing or disagreeing with!

Here is an example opening:

People, particularly the impressionable youth, love to buy the latest fashions and fads such as the latest model of a smartphone. The underlying reason for this is advertising. From my personal experience, It is obvious that ads, which are everywhere from Facebook to street signs, stimulate people to want things and buy stuff whether or not it is required or even useful. So I thoroughly agree with the premise that advertising causes consumer demand for products that they do not need.


There are a handful of reasons why advertising boosts could boost sales of items even though they are not real needs of people. First, since products always appear with in glamorous, glossy images, consumers are tempted to buy these products. In fact, these images are colorful and with well-designed looks, which triggers people’ desire to own the product. owing it. Second, by running promotion campaigns, manufacturers or businesses would create a buying-craze. (no hyphen) This means that many frequent promotion slogans events such as buy one get one "buy one, get one free" and "discount up to 80%" could prompt customers to buy more goods without consideration (missing punctuation.)

Furthermore, the power of advertising has a strong impact on making people buy products constantly in some way. Firstly, First, in order to attract people to buy more items, businesses implement an advertising strategy involving with celebrity endorsement. For example, Nike paid opted Cristiano Ronaldo for to be the brand ambassador of their sneakers items, or Taylor Swift was the representative of Coca Cola, which Seeing a megastar wear or consume a product entices a huge number of all their fans to purchase these items due to their idols rather than competing brands. actual demands. Secondly, Second, if adverts are displayed on social media in people’s leisure time, consumers tend to remember them and buy them when they see the item in a store. commodities with an aim to relax. Plenty of evidence suggests that many well-known brands such as Zara and H&M invest a large amount of money in broadcasting their advertisements at lunch time or at night, which immerses induces people into going shopping for fun and to get a sense of relaxation (missing punctuation.)

In conclusion, with these convincing arguments mentioned above, (Do not use "mentioned above", "aforementioned", or such phrases. Use demonstrative determiners (pronouns used as modifiers). That is what they are for.) advertising has a strong effect on increasing sales of consumer products although they are not the actual needs of the community. By creating a multitude of promotion events, customers are easily paid attention to (wrong usage ) convinced / encouraged / enticed / cajoled / persuaded to buy more goods which are not necessary.