Dear everyone,

Please help me to correct the mistakes of my essay.It is very important so that I can improve my writing skills for my upcoming english exam.

Thanks for reading and helpfulness...

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Parents are the best teachers. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

If we just look generally, we will actually say parents are the best teachers for their children. However, if we look academically, we will actually claim that teachers are the best important persons for children’ knowledge. That is the reason why school is increasing significantly in all over the world because in reality, the name of “teacher” stands for the educational teams that have the very good academic knowledge to teach children. Meanwhile, parents always stay behind to support teacher to remind children ’s homework. I will present three strong reasons to support my point of views.

Firstly, although parents gave birth to children and they take care of their children from meals to sleeps until these children grow up completely, parents do not have enough time to teach their children. In reality, parents have to work very hard outside society to support their family’s finance so that it is enough to pay living costs as well as develop their careers. After coming back from office, they are extremely tired that they do not have any more energy to teach their children. According to this reason, they cannot keep a good patience when they teach their children.

Secondly, in society, there are differences among the origin of families that will influence strongly to children ’s development in knowledge and morality. Therefore, parents from lower and working class have limited thoughts that they are not able to teach their children how to suit with the civilization of society. If they want their children to be better than them, they will have to send their children to school, in where their children may have more chances to build up the basic background of knowledge and morality. As a result, these new generation may change the position of their original family in society.

Thirdly, at last but not at least, teachers are the best important persons for children because teaching stands for academic career that they have to put their very high responsibility to teach children knowledge and morality. At home, children know that their parents love them very much so that they can ask their parents for everything they want to and they do not listen to their parents’ teaching well. In vice versa, at school, children are quite scared of their teachers that they always keep silent and accept the instruction from teachers. Furthermore, children study together that they have to work in a competition environment in order that they can get the prize of teachers and the final grades.

In my conclusion, the statement was wrong when it said that parents are the best teachers for children’s development. Parents have less teaching methods than teachers have, and parents from lower and working classes have limited knowledge of society that they cannot teach their children; therefore, they have to send their children to school. Indeed, parents from middle and upper classes have good education, but they do not have enough time to teach their children well. Meanwhile, teachers who have high academic knowledge and have very good teaching methods are really important to teach children and control their behaviors. No one can change the position of teachers to teach children.
Hi Haibt163,

You may need to rework your arguments.

If we just look generally, we will actually say parents are the best teachers for their children. However, if we look academically, we will actually claim that teachers are the best important persons for children’ knowledge. That is the reason why school is increasing significantly (it should be an adv. modifying an adj.) in all over the world because in reality, the name of “teacher” stands for the educational teams that have the very good academic knowledge to teach children. Meanwhile, parents always stay behind to support teacher (only 1?) to remind children ’s (review usage of remind) homework. I will present three strong reasons to support my point of views.

Firstly, although parents gave birth to children and they take care of their children from meals to sleeps (awk.) until these children grow up completely, parents do not have enough time to teach their children. In reality, parents have to work very hard outside society (outside society? where are they then?) to support their family’s finance so that it is enough to pay living costs as well as develop their careers (must this be the case?). After coming back from office (not necessarily), they are extremely tired that they do not have any more energy to teach their children. According to this reason, they cannot keep a good patience when they teach their children.

Secondly, in society, there are differences among the origin of families that will influence strongly to children ’s development in knowledge and morality. Therefore, (transitional problem) parents from lower and working class have limited thoughts (negative connotation) that they are not able to teach their children how to suit with the civilization of society. If they want their children to be better than them, they will have to send their children to school, in where their children may have more chances to build up the basic background of knowledge and morality. As a result, these new generation may change the position of their original family in society.

Thirdly, at last but not at least (redundant), teachers are the best important (which is the modifier?) persons for children because teaching stands for academic career that they have to put their very high responsibility to teach children knowledge and morality. At home, children know that their parents love them very much so that they can ask their parents for everything they want to and they do not listen to their parents’ teaching well (really?). In vice versa, at school, children are quite scared of their teachers that they always keep silent and accept the instruction from teachers (really?). Furthermore, children study together that they have to work in a competition environment in order that (review usage of that's) they can get the prize of teachers and the final grades.

In my conclusion, the statement was wrong when it said that (wordy) parents are the best teachers for children’s development. Parents have less teaching methods than teachers have, and parents from lower and working classes have limited knowledge of society (not necessarily) that they cannot teach their children; therefore, they have to send their children to school. Indeed, parents from middle and upper classes have good education, but they do not have enough time to teach their children well (not necessarily). Meanwhile, teachers who have high academic knowledge and have very good teaching methods are really important to teach children and control their behaviors. No one can change the position of teachers to teach children.
Hi Julielai,

Thank for your reply. As a result, I have just re-written this essay . Please take one more looking and drop me your next comments.

Wait you.

If we just look generally, we will actually say parents are the best teachers for their children. However, if we look academically, we will actually claim that teachers are the most important for children’ knowledge. That is the reason why school is increasingly significant in all over the world because in reality, the name of “teacher” stands for the educational teams that have the very good academic knowledge to teach children. Meanwhile, parents always play the role of taking good care of children in meals, sleeps, and entertainments. I will present three strong reasons to support my point of views.

Firstly, although parents gave the birth to children and they take good care of their children in meals, sleeps, and entertainments until children grow up completely, parents do not have enough time to teach their children. In reality, parents have to work very hard in company, or factors, etc, to support their family’s finance so that enough to pay living costs. After coming home, they are extremely tied that they do not have any more energy to teach their children. According to this reason, they cannot keep a good patience when they teach their children.

Secondly, in society, there are differences among the origin of families that will influence to children’s development in knowledge and morality. The broken-down of a family, for example, is the conflict between father and mother, where could not find a happy atmosphere make children less hopeful and believable in life. As a result, they will not learn any good things from their parents’ teaching. One other point of view is that parents from lower and working class are not able to have good methods and knowledge to teach children how to suit with the civilization of society. If they want their children to be better than them, they will have to send their children to school, in where children may have more chances to build up the basic background of knowledge and morality. Hopefully, these new generation may change the situation of their original family in society.

Finally, teachers are the most important for children to develop knowledge and morality because teaching represents for academic career that teachers have to put their very high responsibility to teach children. Teachers have to always update new programs of educational department to introduce to children. At home, children know their parents love them very much so that they can ask everything they want to, but at school, children know their teachers will give them low grades within blames if they make mistakes. Indeed, at school, children study together in competition environment with classmates; they will get more motivated to study hard to get teachers’ prizes and good grades. Furthermore, teachers have very good teaching methods, which make children more interested to come up with lessons and they can control children’ behaviors.
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Hi Haibt163,

You may need to work on your arguments some more. E.g. Not all parents are so busy that they don't have time for children. Not all parents work, and certainly not all parents spoil their children by giving everything they want.
Hi Julielai,

Many thanks for your help.

Yes, I actually think that almost parents are usually busy , of course, there are about 10% parents in unemployment. This is a real statistic and I based on the number of majority.

This is my version essay after following your suggestions to rewrite it.

How about your next comments?

Wait you.

If we just look generally, we will actually say parents are the best teachers for their children. However, if we look academically, we will actually claim that teachers are the most important for children’ knowledge. That is the reason why school is increasingly significant in all over the world because in reality, the name of “teacher” stands for the educational teams that have the very good academic knowledge to teach children. Meanwhile, parents always play the role of taking good care of children in meals, sleeps, and entertainments. I will present three strong reasons to support my point of views.

Firstly, although parents gave the birth to children and they take good care of their children in meals, sleeps, and entertainments until children grow up completely, parents do not have enough time to teach their children. In reality, almost parents have to work very hard in company, or factors, etc, to support their family’s finance so that enough to pay living costs. After coming home, they are extremely tied that they do not have any more energy to teach their children. According to this reason, they cannot keep a good patience when they teach their children.

Secondly, in society, there are differences among the origin of families that will influence to children’s development in knowledge and morality. The broken-down of a family, for example, is the conflict between father and mother, where could not find a happy atmosphere make children less hopeful and believable in life. As a result, they will not learn any good things from their parents’ teaching. One other point of view is that parents from lower and working class are not able to have good methods and knowledge to teach children how to suit with the civilization of society. If they want their children to be better than them, they will have to send their children to school, in where children may have more chances to build up the basic background of knowledge and morality. Hopefully, these new generation may change the situation of their original family in society.

Finally, teachers are the most important for children to develop knowledge and morality because teaching represents for academic career that teachers have to put their very high responsibility to teach children. Teachers have to always update new programs of educational department to introduce to children. At home, children has to study alone that make them less motivated to develop IQ while, at school, they have to study together in competition environment with classmates; they will actually get much more motivated to study hard to get teachers’ prizes and good grades. Furthermore, teachers have very good teaching methods, which make children more interested to come up with lessons and they can control children’ behaviors.



Hi Haibt163,

I've known many parents who quit their jobs to take care of their kids. Only the poor or families with single parents can't lower their living standards a little and make time for their family.
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