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Write a narrative paragraph (150 words) about a business man

Mark Zuckerberg is a successful businessman. Mark was born in 1984 in White Plains, New York, U.S. He graduated from Phillips Exeter Academy in New Hampshire in 2002. At the time in 2002, he joined Harvard University on a psychology and computer science course. On February 4, 2004 he launched “TheFacebook”. At the end of his sophomore year in 2004, Mark dropped out of Harvard University to devote himself to Facebook full time. In 2007, he expanded his career beyond universities, so everyone had an email address can join. In 2012, Mark married to Priscilla Chan who is a medical student at the University of California. The business magazine Forbes estimated his net worth to be 44.6 billion dollar and listed him the top 10 billionaires for the first time in 2016. Now, Mark aims to connect 5 billion people on the Internet.

Is my concluding sentence okay ?

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Mark Zuckerberg is a successful businessman. Mark was born in 1984 in White Plains, New York, U.S. He graduated from Phillips Exeter Academy in New Hampshire in 2002. At the time In 2002, he enrolled in Harvard University, majoring in on a psychology and computer science course. On February 4, 2004 he launched “TheFacebook”. At the end of his sophomore year in 2004, Mark dropped out of Harvard University to devote himself to Facebook full time. In 2007, he expanded his career (wrong word) beyond universities, so everyone had (ungrammatical clause structure) an email address can join. In 2012, Mark married to Priscilla Chan, who is a medical student at the University of California. The business magazine Forbes estimated his net worth to be 44.6 billion dollar (wrong form) and listed him as one of the top 10 billionaires for the first time in 2016. Now, Mark aims to connect 5 billion people on the Internet. (He will not do that himself. That is the objective for the social media network, Facebook.)

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