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Can I write:

(a) A majority of pupils scored the average achievement in English exam paper. Only a few of them could do well and get high marks in English. They able to construct a simple sentence without any grammatical errors in section A.

In additions, they put more efforts to write more interesting and narrative story. They also do double-checking the exam paper before handing it.

(b) Twenty-five percent of pupils are weak in writing a proper English. They hardly to write a simple sentence to express their ideas concisely. They are poor in vocabulary and lack of experience in writing. This is probably they less explore themselves in learning English.

(c) To master the English, we have to communicate with children in English always. We create a learning and comfortable environment to get them involved to learn English as well.
Comments  
Hi Vincent,
I'm very happy to see that you are writing longer passages. This is a better way to improve your English.

(a) A majority of pupils scored average marks on the English exam paper. Only a few of them were able to do well and get high marks. They were able to construct a simple sentence without any grammatical errors, in section A.

In addition, they put more effort into writing a more interesting and narrative story. They also double-checked the exam paper before handing it in.

(b) Twenty-five percent of pupils are weak in writing proper English. They can hardly write a simple sentence to express their ideas concisely. They are poor in vocabulary and have a lack of experience in writing. This is probably they less explore themselves in learning English. I don't understand the underlined part. say it another way.

(c) To help them to master English, we have to communicate with children in English always. We need to create a comfortable learning environment to get them involved in learning English as well.

Please ask further questions if you don't understand any of these edits.

Best wishes, Clive
(a) A majority of pupils scored the average achievement received an average score on in the English exam paper. Only a few of them could do well and get got high marks in English. They were the ones who were able to construct a simple sentence without any grammatical errors in section A.

In addition, they put more effort into to write writing a more interesting and narrative story. They also do double-checking double checked the exam paper before handing it in.

(b) Twenty-five percent of pupils are weak in writing a proper English. They can hardly to write a simple sentence to express their ideas concisely ["correctly" might be a better word here]. They are poor in vocabulary and lack of experience in writing. This is probably why they less explore themselves have trouble in learning English.
I'm not sure what you mean in your last sentence. I took my best guess.

(c) To master the English, we have to communicate with children in English always. We create a learning and comfortable comfortable learning environment to get them involved to in learning English.
Students: Are you brave enough to let our tutors analyse your pronunciation?
Thanks. If I say,

We need to create a comfortable learning environment to get them involved in learning English in class or at home as well.

P/s: How do we create a comfortable learning environment ? Do you got any ideas?
Hi,
We need to create a comfortable learning environment to get them involved in learning English, in class or at home as well.

P/s: How do we create a comfortable learning environment ? DoHave you got any ideas?

Clive
Clive. This is my questions.

How do we create a comfortable learning environment ? Have you got any ideas?
Students: We have free audio pronunciation exercises.
Hi,
OK.
Clive