+0
[P/S] Please correct the following:

Scene:

This is what I see occurring/happening on the play ground. There is boy walking, holding a heavy bag. There are two people/persons, a male and a female, riding a double-seated yellow bicycle. There is a bear lying on the ground almost nonchalant, eating peanuts. There are two grown men in the twenties arm-wrestling with their elbows on the wooden table. There is what appears to be a sanitation worker watching the arm-wrestling match in what appears to be in his break as it is happening, while chowing down a big sprinkled-with-nuts donut.
1 2
Comments  
This is what I see happening in the play ground. There is boy walking while holding a heavy bag. There are two people (children would be a better choice) , a male and a female (male and female are very technical terms, not usually used directly of people. Boy and girl would be better. You'd talk about male and female animals) riding a double-seated yellow bicycle. There is a bear lying on the ground almost nonchalant, eating peanuts. There are two grown men in their twenties arm-wrestling with their elbows on the wooden table (if there is more than one table, use a. In fact, a would work here in any case). There is what appears to be a sanitation worker watching the arm-wrestling match in what appears to be in his break, as he is chowing down a big sprinkled-with-nuts donut.
Thank you, Nona.

Can I ask you why you changed the relative clause, "while chowing down a big sprinked-with-nuts donut" with "as he is chowing down a big sprinkled-with-nuts donut."? I think I can grasp the subtle yet very tangible difference between the two, yet cannot clearly explain as can be understood even by myself. Help.
Teachers: We supply a list of EFL job vacancies
Hi,

A minor comment. The slang expression 'chow down' is intransitive. It usually takes the form 'chow down on something'.

Best wishes, Clive
Nona The Brit
This is what I see happening in the play ground. There is boy walking while holding a heavy bag. There are two people (children would be a better choice) , a male and a female (male and female are very technical terms, not usually used directly of people. Boy and girl would be better. You'd talk about male and female animals) riding a double-seated yellow bicycle. There is a bear lying on the ground almost nonchalant, eating peanuts. There are two grown men in their twenties arm-wrestling with their elbows on the wooden table (if there is more than one table, use a. In fact, a would work here in any case). There is what appears to be a sanitation worker watching the arm-wrestling match in what appears to be in his break, as he is chowing down a big sprinkled-with-nuts donut.

I want to ask why

There is boy walking while holding a heavy bag

Why not "There is a boy"

There is a boy walking, who's holding a heavy bag.

CK

Hi CK.

If you want to place a relative clause "who is holding a heavy bag," that relative clause should be place right after the noun it is specifying or gives information on. Thus, I think your sentence should look like this:

There is a boy, who is holding a heavy bag, walk down the street.

*I add the underlined prepositional phrase (?) to make the sentence more natural to those who are looking at the sentence.
Site Hint: Check out our list of pronunciation videos.
hello

can you say "'When I don't mind my path i get into a spin"?

thank you!
Hi Sleepyslop,

Welcome to the Forum.

'When I don't mind my path i get into a spin"?

Your English is OK here, but your meaning is unclear.

Do you mean 'When I don't watch where I am going, I fall down'?

Best wishes, Clive
How about this one?

When I don't follow my path I will get lost

CK
Students: We have free audio pronunciation exercises.
Show more