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Please check my writing and if there are wrong things, please correct them. Thank you in advance for your teaching.

When my father was dead, I never cried. I don't know why I didn't cry at that important moment. My mother and two younger brothers cried a lot, never tried to hide their tears as if the ceiling of the patient's room was just falling down.
After sending him, sometimes I've dreamed him and almost of every moment when I take walk to get out from my stuffy reality I have recalled him.
Even though he shouted me that he wanted to live more for his family, as if he finally agreed with his death, Can I agree that I should die some day.
Sometimes I feel that he still lives in my mind continuously since whenever I think of him, he always gives his smile to me.
Up to now some people still miss him a lot. In watching such things,even though he died materially, it seems that he is really spiritually alive and will live in their minds.
I'm not sure whether the sin of not crying for his death leads me to think like this. "He should have lived more!" "A good father is the man who lives long to see his children' growing up".
I could realize that this missing on him can never be a burden any more to people who know and miss him since some time.
Then, maybe the god is teaching us why to agree with our final making us feel how our soul can live.
Thanks,god!
I ask myself what kind of fathers I want to be. I don't know it yet. But as for the death, I want to be like that of my father.
Good night,my father! Don't worry for my tomorrow!
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Son James, please forgive me if I have rewritten it too much, but I couldn't resist myself. Let me know if I have missed the meaning of anything, Okay?

When my father died, I didn't cry. I don't know why I didn't cry at that important moment, because my mother and two younger brothers cried a lot. They never tried to hide their tears and it seemed to me as if his hospital room was just falling down around us. After seeing him off, I have dreamed of him and almost daily while on my walk, I lose myself in thought to him, and for awhile it allows me to escape the stale, never-ending reality of my life. Even though he shouted while reasoning with me that he needed to stay and live longer for his family, he finally came to terms with his dying. It makes me wonder if I will be able to follow in his footsteps and resign myself to my own inevitable death. You know, I think about him constantly and sometimes I feel he is still with me, because every time I think of him, he is smiling... smiling at me.

There are people other than myself that still miss my father a lot. When I think about it, I wonder if he has not been somehow immortalized by being kept alive in their memories. Sometimes I wonder why I didn't cry while he was dying. I often ask myself that question. Could it have been that I was somehow angry at him for leaving me behind? Shouldn't he have been a better father and somehow managed to stay around long enough to watch me grow up?

I have finally resolved to believe that his passing shouldn't be a burden on me anymore than it is on anyone else that knew him and is now missing him. Perhaps God is trying to teach me that I should agree to go gracefully when it is my time, because we will live on in the memories of others, therefore we really never die.

I thank God, and then I ask myself what kind of father do I really want to be. I am truly not sure, yet as far as my death, I want to be just like my father. I want to die with dignity.

Goodnight, my dear father. Don't worry for my tomorrow!
Comments  
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Thank you so much for your correction,Ms Cynthia. Some expressions are really impressed to me.The expression "to escape the stale, never-ending reality of my life" is beautiful. Based on your writing, I want to rewrite it. I want to write it honestly from my heart. If possible,I want to write it emotionally,not logically. You can see it my Facebook. Thank you once again for your teaching and expression,Ms Cynthia. Emotion: embarrassed
My dear friend, you bring me so much honor with your words. It was such a special thing that you shared with me that I truly wanted to write it as close to my heart as possible. I am indeed going to look forward to reading your completed version. A kiss to you and your beautiful family. Emotion: smile
Thank you so much for your kind and thoughtful mind,Ms CynthiaEmotion: embarrassed
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