So I rewrote my Letter of Motivation and I think it sounds better already. Anyway I would really appreciate every comment on it. Please help me to improve it!



Dear ladies and gentlemen

I am writing with regard to my application for the Hospitality Management Programme at the International University of Applied Sciences *****. During the programme, I hope to gain the knowledge and experience that are required nowadays for a successful start and to improve my English skills by means of the international campus and the year abroad you provide.

My interest in the hospitality branch comes predominantly from the fact that I want to work with people both as a staff member but also in relation to customers. In my present understanding, this means that I will have to be part of an organisation and have to organise myself but at the same time have to have in mind that there is a client to tend, whose needs have to be fulfilled. That is what makes the branch demanding and fascinating at the same time. On the one hand, the organisation and coordination of staff for “daily work” as well as for special events are required, and on the other hand, the development and realisation of new ideas for the customers. Furthermore, the hospitality branch is in a constant process of change, where new trends are set every year and management will have to react to them – an intriguing task.

In addition, I consider the enormous international possibilities for working abroad as formidable. All over the world, jobs are provided, and even though it is work, working in probably the most beautiful spots worldwide is a very attractive idea.

During my research I came about a poster from The International University of Applied Sciences *****and it made a magnificent impression; I appreciate the international campus, confronting the student with the English language not only during classes but also in everyday situations, the “One-year-abroad programme”, the modern surroundings providing an ideal learning milieu, a very practical-related education through the teachers practical experience, the events, e.g. a gala-dinner organised by students, the internships, and finally the impression of a little “elite-family”. All this together seems to be the perfect and best possible education and preparation conditions for the international hospitality branch and that is where I want to work for my future.

I hope, I was able to give you an impression of my motivation to chose the hospitality management programme on The International University of Applied Sciences Bad Honnef.

Yours sincerely

Thanks already for your suggestions

Jareck

edit a few things were corrected
Hello Jareck,

I edited pretty liberally. A few questions remain. You should feel free to ignore any of my suggestions. Emotion: smile

Dear ladies and gentlemen,

I am writing to apply for the Hospitality Management Programme at the International University of Applied Sciences *****. During the programme, I hope to gain the knowledge and experience required to successfully start aren't you supposed to be starting something? A business? Something? . I also hope to improve my English skills by attending an international campus and spending a year abroad as part of the programme.

My interest in the hospitality industry comes predominantly from my desire to work with people and to provide great oustanding customer service. As I understand this role, I will have to be part of an organisation and have to organise myself [I'm not sure what you mean here] but at the same time always keep in mind my clients' needs and make sure they they are being met. That is what makes the industry demanding and fascinating at the same time. On the one hand, we are required to organise and coordinate the staff for the day-to-day work as well as for special events, and on the other hand, we must work to develop [Do you mean develop new customers - i.e., market to them?] realise new ideas for our customers. Furthermore, the hospitality branch is in a constant process of change, where new trends are set every year and management will have to react to them – an intriguing task.

In addition, the enormous possibilities for working abroad. [as formidable - I don't think this is the word you mean, but I'm not entirely sure.] . There are jobs in the hospitality industry all over the world, and while we must devote ourselves to our jobs while we are on duty, we have the opportunity to work in some of the most beautiful spots in the world, which is a very attractive prospect.

During my research, I came about a poster from The International University of Applied Sciences *****and it made a magnificent impression; I appreciate the international campus, immersing the student in the English language not only during classes but also in everyday situations, and the “one-year-abroad programme.” I also was impressed with the modern surroundings, and how I can receive a very realistic education through the teachers' practical experience, events like the gala-dinner organised by students, and internships. This all combines to be the perfect education and preparation for the international hospitality industry, which I have targeted for my future.

I hope I have demonstrated to you my interest and motivation to choose the hospitality management programme on The International University of Applied Sciences Bad Honnef. My enthusiasm for the programme and my dedication to my studies would make me a strong advertisement for the strenght of your programme, once I have completed it and am employed in the hospitality industry.

Yours sincerely,
Than you so much!! It really helped a lot. I think I'm going to write some of the original and some of your phrases Emotion: smile I really appreciate your help. Thanks