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Hi i wrote this essay and my personal teacher told me everything was ok with it. Some how i don't agree with him, i was wondering if some of you guys could help me review my essay. (I think i need to get a new teacher Emotion: smile )

Thanks in advance

Challenges of Adopting Technologies in Developing Economies.

Since technology is intrinsically related with today’s global economy, developing countries must successfully assimilate technological change if they want to be part of the modern market place. However the middle and low income countries face both a challenge and an opportunity when it comes to address the issue of modernizing their infrastructure and the productive use of technologies.

State of the art improvements will help lowering production costs, and will also improve less competitive economic sectors. But in order to take advantage of the benefits that come with technology, countries must be able to create the appropriate high-tech base and must be able to efficiently train their own workforce. Considering that most of these countries do not have the educational resources to form the required personnel, governments must develop and execute a long term educational plan that includes: building new universities and schools, lowering educational costs, providing the appropriate supplies and educational resources, etc.

Moreover such a large investment must be followed with a series of initiatives aimed at the development of local high-tech sectors, in order to reinforce the nations IT and discourage the brain drain phenomenon faced by most developing countries. For instance in the 1990s, 70% of graduates from the Indian Institutes of Technology left their country seeking for better options, mainly to the United States. Since then the professional exodus has been reduced after improving job conditions, now days with a stronger Indian economy the number of emigrants has been reduced to an extent of 30%.

Nevertheless communication, information, and education benefit from technological progress. By means of providing an atmosphere for democracy and social development, technology helps building a stable economy and therefore a stronger country. On the other side of the coin the availability of information and ease of communication fosters cultural exchange at the expense of losing the developing country’s culture and identity. As time passes by the young population has the tendency of assimilating foreign culture as a by-product of the imported technology, in the process, valuable parts of the developing country’s culture will be inevitably lost.

Developing countries must follow a modernizing program that guaranties the availability of educational resources, work force placement, and stability in order to take advantage of the opportunities that come with globalization. However these nations must be careful with the process of assimilating technology in such a way that on the course they won’t lose what defines them: their own people and culture.

http://sunburn.stanford.edu/~eroberts/courses/cs181/projects/2007-08/developing-economies /
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Except for punctuation, this is indeed, on the most part, a grammatically correct essay. The larger problem is that the language is too generalized and stilted rather than detailed and natural. I have made a few suggestions as to word choices to give you an idea of what I mean. Words or punctation in boldface are my changes; cross-outs are the old language; notes or suggestions are in brackets; underlined words are either to show hyphenation more clearly or to indicate which words I am bothered by. I hope this helps.

Challenges of Adopting Technologies in Developing Economies.

Since technology is intrinsically related with [a part of/rooted in/a driving force in?] today's global economy, developing countries must successfully assimilate technological change if they want to be part of the modern market place. However the middle- and low-income countries face both a challenge and an opportunity when it comes to addressing the issue of modernizing their infrastructure and the productive use of technologies.
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State-of-the-art improvements will help lowering production costs and will also improve less competitive economic sectors. But in order to take advantage of the benefits that come with technology, countries must be able to create the appropriate high-tech base and must be able to efficiently train their own workforce efficiently. Considering that most of these countries do not have the educational resources to form [provide?] the required personnel, governments must develop and execute a long-term educational plan that includes: building new universities and schools, lowering educational costs, providing the appropriate supplies and educational resources, etc.
[space]

Moreover, such a large investment must be followed with a series of initiatives aimed at the developingment of local high-tech sectors, in order to reinforce the nations IT and discourage the brain drain phenomenon faced by most developing countries. For instance, in the 1990s, 70% of graduates from the Indian Institutes of Technology left their country seeking for better options, mainly [traveling?] to the United States. Since then the professional exodus has been reduced after by improving job conditions. , now days Nowadays, with a stronger Indian economy, the number of emigrants has been reduced to an extent of [by 30% or to] 30% [of the graduates?].
[space]

Nevertheless, communication, information, and education benefit from technological progress. By means of providing [fostering/promoting?] an atmosphere for democracy and social development, technology helps building a stable economy and therefore a stronger country. On the other side of the coin, the availability of information and ease of communication fosters cultural exchange at the expense of losing [weakening/destroying?] the developing country’s culture and identity. As time passes, by the young population has the tendency to of assimilateing foreign culture as a by-product of the imported technology., in In the process, valuable parts of the developing country’s culture will be inevitably lost.

[space]

Developing countries must follow a modernizing program that guarantees the availability of educational resources, work force placement, and stability in order to take advantage of the opportunities that come with globalization. However these nations must be careful to with the process of assimilateing technology in such a way fashion that on the course along the way they won’t lose what defines them: their own people and culture.
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I really appreciate your help!! I really needed this type of feedback .

Thankyou so much Emotion: smile