Why did you choose your proposed course and institution? (2000 characters limit max 500 words)
A master’s degree in Clinical Psychology will transform my zeal to help people struggling with mental health challenges into a skill set.
During my undergraduate studies pursuing BSc in Disability and Rehabilitation Studies, I served as Class President of 105 students for two years, became the assistant, and then, the head of a music group of about 80 members. I encountered people who struggled with depressive symptoms, anxiety, and other mental challenges which negatively impacted their health and general academic performance. As a responsible leader, I could not turn a blind eye—In those times, I fell on my knowledge from courses on Career Guidance and Counselling, Psychoeducation in Disability and Individual Counselling as well as other courses related to Psychology I was studying. I made sure, along the line, they got help from professional psychologists and, for some, psychiatrists.
Currently, I work as a teaching assistant for my department and I have had some undergraduate students come to me with suicidal ideations and mild to profound depressive symptoms. From the basic knowledge I have, I do my best to give ‘first aid’ before referring them to a professional.
The University of Melbourne and the University of Sydney are top world-ranked universities in the field of Psychology with strong reputation for their exceptional faculty in training their students to become professionals in the field while fine-tuning their research skills and professional ethics by granting access to experiencing real-life situations to ensure practical understanding of the program. As such, a degree from such one of these universities is credible and prestigious. Returning to Ghana with certification and top-notch training from either universities places me at a higher advantage to my peers in terms of skill, professionalism and exposure to diverse areas of the field.
Aside the numerous benefits and networking opportunities that come with being a scholar at a world class university, its multicultural environment that promises an exciting international experience especially for first timers like myself. The universities are both strategically positioned so students can experience every bit of Australia to the fullest.
Only this part of your answer will be accepted. It is 2000 characters long. The rest will be truncated and not part of your application.
If you want to "pack a punch" you need to tighten your writing to communicate your most significant points to the reader. The style of a "stream of consciousness" is hardly the best approach to winning cover letters.
The screener has extremely limited time to read your text and decide whether to put it in the "reject" pile or let it go to the next step. If they have to read your opening sentence two or three times to figure it out, and glance down and see that the last paragraph ends in the middle of a word, well, you get my drift.
There are quite a few websites with tips on effective, succinct and powerful essays, but after skimming a few, here is a good one.
https://thefinancialbrand.com/news/bank-marketing/10-tips-to-tighten-your-writing-52883/
Here is a text analyzer - showing numbers of characters, words, sentence and paragraphs.
https://www.ieltsscore.com/word-counter/
A master’s degree in Clinical Psychology will transform my zeal to help people struggling with mental health challenges into a skill set.
During my undergraduate studies pursuing BSc in Disability and Rehabilitation Studies, I served as Class President of 105 students for two years, became the assistant, and then, the head of a music group of about 80 members. I encountered people who struggled with depressive symptoms, anxiety, and other mental challenges which negatively impacted their health and general academic performance. As a responsible leader, I could not turn a blind eye—In those times, I fell on my knowledge from courses on Career Guidance and Counselling, Psychoeducation in Disability and Individual Counselling as well as other courses related to Psychology I was studying. I made sure, along the line, they got help from professional psychologists and, for some, psychiatrists.
Currently, I work as a teaching assistant for my department and I have had some undergraduate students come to me with suicidal ideations and mild to profound depressive symptoms. From the basic knowledge I have, I do my best to give ‘first aid’ before referring them to a professional.
The University of Melbourne and the University of Sydney are top world-ranked universities in the field of Psychology with strong reputation for their exceptional faculty in training their students to become professionals in the field while fine-tuning their research skills and professional ethics by granting access to experiencing real-life situations to ensure practical understanding of the program. As such, a degree from such one of these universities is credible and prestigious. Returning to Ghana with certification and top-notch training from either universities places me at a higher advantage to my peers in terms of skill, professionalism and exposure to diverse areas of the field.
Aside the numerous benefits and networking opportunities that come with being a scholar at a world class univer
I took your advice on going straight to the point as much as possible. This helped me to scale down to less than 2000 characters.
This is the updated essay.
A master’s degree in Clinical Psychology will provide me with the training to help people struggling with mental health challenges. Returning to Ghana with certification and top-notch training from either university places me at a higher advantage than my peers in terms of skill, professionalism, and exposure to diverse areas of the field.
While studying BSc in Disability and Rehabilitation Studies, I served as Class President of 105 students for two years, and the head of a music group of about 80 members. I encountered people who struggled with depressive symptoms, anxiety, and other mental challenges that impacted their health and academic performance. During those times, I depended on some Psychology related courses I had studied as well as past experiences.
Currently, I work as a teaching assistant at my department and some undergraduate students come to me with suicidal ideations and mild to profound depressive symptoms. In all instances, I do my best to give ‘first aid’ before referring them to a professional. I look forward to becoming ‘the professional’ who can diagnose and offer treatment and therapy.
The University of Melbourne and the University of Sydney are top world-ranked universities in the field of Psychology with strong reputations for their exceptional faculty in training their students to become professionals in the field while fine-tuning their research skills and professional ethics by granting access to experiencing real-life situations to ensure practical understanding of the program. As such, a degree from one of these universities is credible and prestigious.
Aside from the numerous benefits and networking opportunities that come with being a scholar at a world-class university, its multicultural environment promises an exciting international experience, especially for first-timers like myself. The universities are both strategically positioned so students can experience every bit of Australia to the fullest.
A master’s degree in Clinical Psychology will provide me with the training to help people struggling with mental health challenges. Returning to Ghana with certification and top-notch training from either university places me at a higher advantage than my peers in terms of skill, professionalism, and exposure to diverse areas of the field.
(341 characters/ 53 words)
Suggested change.
It is rather obvious that someone with an advanced degree will have an advantage over the competition for jobs. That is in everybody's "motivation essay". It is nothing that grabs the reviewer's attention.
Focus on the benefits to your community instead of your future CV. It is more compact and impactful:
A master’s degree in Clinical Psychology is a major step to my goal to help people with mental health challenges. A degree from either university will boost my confidence in my ability to apply and adapt the latest techniques and research results to the people and cultures of Ghana when I return.
(297 characters / 52 words)
While studying earning a BSc in Disability and Rehabilitation Studies, I served as class president of 105 students for two years, and was the head of a 80-member music group of about 80 members. I encountered people who struggled with depressive symptoms, depression, anxiety, and other mental disorders challenges that severely impacted their health and academic performance. During those times, I depended I tried to help them based on some Psychology related courses I had studied as well as and past experiences.
Currently, I work as a teaching assistant at my department and some undergraduate students come to me with suicidal ideations and mild to profound depression. depressive symptoms. In all instances, I do my best to give support and advice ‘first aid’ before referring them to a professional. I look forward to becoming My ambition is to be ‘the professional’ who can diagnose and offer treatment and therapy.
Thank you very much.