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Q: It is suggested that everyone should have a car, a TV and a fridge.
Do the advantages of this development for society outweigh the disadvantages?


Since the advent of amenities such as cars, those have become an increasingly invasive force in the lives of all human beings. While each person needs to possess an item of fundamental needs for traveling and other activities, I believe that the drawbacks of this development pale in comparison with the benefits.

On the one hand, there are several merits of having items. Firstly, material procession keeps society progressing. It indicates that the citizens always make attempts in the quest for comforts in life, as a result, the manufacturing process will be pushed. Undoubtedly, thousands of employees will be hired and required to work constantly to fulfill people’s demands, which boosts the development of the domestic economy. Secondly, such previously luxurious items are probably more affordable to the public. The growth in customers’ demand for commodities will drive mass production; lowering the average price of a commodity significantly. This enables the low-income group to possess these items, such as purchasing a Sony Television, for instance.

However, the demerits should be taken into consideration. First, having a private car, TV, and fridge, increases strain on people’s daily aspects. People are inclined to be workaholics and spend less quantity of time on other social activities. Even worse, people who are obsessed and seduced by its latest model of a car are not hesitant to make use of illegal means, leading to anti-social behavior. Another drawback regarding the environment is much greater. When the customers are tempted to purchase without really need these items, this ongoing trend, influenced by commercials, will add to the amount of global waste and harm the environment by releasing emissions from private cars.

In conclusion, despite a few potential problems emerging from this fact, I contend that its advantages exceed the disadvantages.

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You use a lot of vocabulary words incorrectly.



Since the advent (wrong word) of amenities (wrong word. A car is not an amenity.) such as cars, those (wrong word) have become an increasingly invasive force in the lives of all human beings. (unnatural, besides this sentence is off-topic. It is not about new inventions.) While each person needs to possess an item (wrong form, wrong word) of fundamental needs for traveling and other activities, I believe that the drawbacks of this development pale in comparison with the benefits.

On the one hand, there are several merits of having items. (What items are you talking about? A cup, a book, a chair, a notebook or something else?) Firstly, First, material procession keeps society progressing. It indicates (wrong word.) that the citizens always make attempts in the quest for comforts in life, (comma splice error) as a result, the manufacturing process will be pushed. (wrong word.) Undoubtedly, thousands of employees will be hired and required to work constantly to fulfill people’s demands, which boosts the development of the domestic economy. Secondly, Second, such previously luxurious (unnatural) items are probably more affordable to the public. The growth in customers’ demand for commodities (wrong word.) will drive mass production; (wrong punctuation. lowering the average price of a commodity (wrong word. significantly. This enables the low-income group to possess these items, such as purchasing a Sony Television, for instance.

However, the demerits (wrong word. Remove this word from your vocabulary list..) should be taken into consideration. First, having a private car, TV, and fridge, increases strain on people’s daily aspects. (wrong word.) People are inclined to be workaholics and spend less quantity of time (wrong expression.) on other social activities. Even worse, people who are obsessed and seduced by its (wrong word) latest model of a car are not hesitant to make use of illegal means (incomplete clause.), leading to anti-social behavior. Another drawback regarding the environment is much greater. When the customers are tempted to purchase without really need (wrong form.) these items, this ongoing trend, influenced by commercials, will add to the amount of global waste and harm the environment by releasing emissions from private cars.

(that does not make sense.)

In conclusion, despite a few potential problems emerging from this fact, I contend that its advantages exceed the disadvantages. (You should put the disadvantages paragraph before the advantages paragraph. Otherwise, the logical transition is non-existent. You just had many ideas about the bad aspects. Suddenly, you dismiss them.)

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