It is true that the youngsters in some parts of the world are not happy as we thought despite all the material possessions that they have. There are some reasons for this, but steps can be taken to tackle the problem.

In my opinion, two main factors are blame for people’s unhappiness nowadays. Firstly, people are now living fully so they don’t feel happier than in the past when they are in poverty. For example, how did you feel when you got the first wage in your company? That truly is the memorable happy milestone in young people’s lives. Secondly, young ones find it difficult to find out any other meanings of life after becoming successful. In addition to the wealth, health and expectancy which they try to achieve, making someone happy is also a way of making oneself happier.

The state of being less happy in youth can certainly be improved. I believe that the change should start with jumping out the comfort zone to embark on a new challenge. A tricky situation lets them consistently try hard, and at any time young people reap the rewards, they always feel enjoyable. Also, the next generation should care more about their family members at least and do charity for helping more and more unlucky ones. This is the attitude that I believe young people should foster to live meaningfully.

In conclusion, young people will continue to feel less happy despite the fact that they gain wealth, health and expectancy unless they change their mindset about happiness.

It is true that the youngsters in some parts of the world are not happy as we thought despite all the material possessions that they have. There are some reasons for this, but steps can be taken to tackle the problem.

In my opinion, two main factors are blame for people’s unhappiness nowadays. Firstly, people are now living fully so they don’t feel happier than in the past when they are in poverty. For example, how did you feel when you got the first wage in your company? That truly is the memorable happy milestone in young people’s lives. Secondly, young ones find it difficult to find out any other meanings of life after becoming successful. In addition to the wealth, health and expectancy which they try to achieve, making someone happy is also a way of making oneself happier.

The state of being less happy in youth can certainly be improved. I believe that the change should start with jumping out the comfort zone to embark on a new challenge. A tricky situation lets them consistently try hard, and at any time young people reap the rewards, they always feel enjoyable. Also, the next generation should care more about their family members at least and do charity for helping more and more unlucky ones. This is the attitude that I believe young people should foster to live meaningfully.

In conclusion, young people will continue to feel less happy despite the fact that they gain wealth, health and expectancy unless they change their mindset about happiness.

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Subject: Please review my IELTS essay

Message body:
Topic: In some countries, young people have become richer, healthier, and live longer, but they are less happy. What are the causes and what can be done to address this problem?

Copy all the essay instructions completely and accurately.


My essay:

(Your text here...)
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Students: Are you brave enough to let our tutors analyse your pronunciation?
hang9815youngsters

In the US, a youngster is a child younger than a teenager and older than a toddler. It is a very casual and informal term. I don't think this is what you intend.



It is true that ( Those impersonal it-clauses are not good style. They are virtually meaningless and add nothing to the essay. Avoid them.) the youngsters (wrong word) in some parts of the world are not happy as we thought despite all the material possessions that they have. The main reason is an unfulfilled life but challenging oneself can remedy this negative feeling. There are some reasons for this, but steps can be taken to tackle the problem. (There are reasons for anything and everything. "There are reasons for this" is not a meaningful statement. Give the examiner a hint of your arguments and you will improve the score.)

In my opinion, two main factors are blame for people’s unhappiness nowadays. Firstly, First, people are now living fully (wrong expression. This has the opposite meaning of what you intend.) so they don’t (Do not use contractions in formal writing.) feel happier than in the past when they are (wrong tense) in poverty. For example, how did you feel when you got the first wage (wrong word) paycheck on your first job in your company? That truly is the one memorable happy milestone in young people’s lives. Secondly, Second, young people ones find it difficult to find out (wrong phrasal verb ) any other meanings of life after becoming successful. In addition to the wealth, health and expectancy (wrong word) which they try to achieve, making someone happy is also a way of making oneself happier. (I do not understand this last point.)

The state of being less happy unhappiness in youth can certainly be improved. I believe that the change should start with them jumping out their comfort zone to embark on a new challenge. A tricky situation lets them consistently try hard, and at any time young people reap the rewards, (comma splice error - incorrect clause structure.) they always feel enjoyable. (wrong word) Also, the next generation should care more about their family members at least and do charity for helping those who are less fortunate. more and more unlucky ones. This is the attitude that I believe young people should foster to live meaningfully.

In conclusion, young people will continue to feel less happy despite the fact that they gain wealth, health and expectancy (wrong word) unless they change their mindset about happiness.

Thank for your help 😍

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