The diagram illustrates how paper is made and recycled in a manufacturing process.
Overall, there are three main stages in the process including seven small steps: first, transforming trees into logs, second, processing them into papers and finally, recycling the used papers.
The first stage involves trees being cut down into logs using a saw in a lumber mill. In the second stage, the logs are shipped to a pulping centre, where they are crushed into pulp. The pulp is then brought to a paper-making plant, in which it is passed through a paper press to be turned into paper. That ends the second stage. After being used and discarded, the paper is transported to a recycling plant by a truck. Subsequently, it is shredded into small pieces by a machine, which are transformed into pulp. Finally, the pulp is brought back to the paper-making plant and processed into paper.
It is easier for wealthy people to maintain good health than it is for people who do not have large amounts of money.
To what extent do you agree or disagree?
There is a widespread notion that it is more difficult for poor people to maintain good health compared to the wealthy. I completely agree.
First, healthy food is often expensive, so the poor tend to opt for cheap alternatives, which can damage their health. For example, many people with a low income in Western countries are suffering from being overweight, obesity, and diabetes because they consume a large amount of fast food, which only costs a few dollars, far cheaper than fresh ingredients such as vegetables and fruits. On the other hand, rich people can afford to have a diet that is recommended by a food specialist, allowing them to consume enough vitamins for daily activities and have a healthy body. Similarly, poor people tend not to have the luxury of attending fitness classes to exercise and keep fit, unlike the wealthy. Consequently, they are likely to have a low standard of fitness, which is vulnerable to diseases.
Second, medical treatment costs for some illnesses are so expensive that those without high earnings are not able to afford them. As a result, many poor are left to die of curable diseases. For example, every year, thousands of individuals in many African countries struggle to purchase medicines for mitigating aid symptoms, whose prices are sometimes up to thousands of dollars, and end with early death. Furthermore, rich people can afford monthly medical checking to identify early symptoms of potential illnesses, so they can quickly seek preventative medicines or medical treatments.
In conclusion, people who do not have a large amount of money have difficult access to resources that can help them to have good health.
I tried to practice writing under the pressure of time with easy questions. Would you mind grading my essays and giving me some suggestions to improve my band?
You did not post the instructions for the Task 1 diagram. Please add them.
Do not put two essays in the same post. It takes a lot of time and effort to review each one. Two is too many.
I am really sorry for causing you inconvenience.
The diagram below shows the process by which paper is manufactured and recycled.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Thank you so much.
lethanhhangI am really sorry for causing you inconvenience.
No problem. It is your inconvenience, not mine, since you do not get feedback as quickly.
You did not meet the minimum word count. For the lack of 3 words, you lose points for "task response." You must aim to write 179-190 words.
The diagram illustrates how paper is made and recycled in a manufacturing process.
Overall, there are three main stages (incorrect reporting. These are three separate manufacturing processes - they are not three sequential stages of one process..) in the process including seven small steps: first, transforming (wrong word. - Transform means to change shape or form. ) trees into logs, second, processing them into papers (wrong form - paper is non-count.) and finally, recycling the used papers.
The first stage involves trees being cut down into logs using a saw in a lumber mill. In the second stage, the logs are shipped to a pulping centre, where they are crushed into pulp. The pulp is then brought to a paper-making plant, in which it is passed through a paper press to be turned into paper. That ends the second stage. After being used and discarded, the paper is transported to a recycling plant by a truck. Subsequently, it is shredded into small pieces by a machine, which are transformed into pulp. Finally, the pulp is brought back to the paper-making plant and processed into paper.
You have the right idea, but the wrong vocabulary and wrong analysis. You need to learn the difference between "process", "stage" and "step."
Look at the diagram that I have marked up.
Once you have done this mark-up, you can see the "big picture" much more clearly.
Here is the "overall" paragraph.
Overall, there are three independent processes, each of which has a manufacturing facility. The first two, the pulping centre and the recycling plant, make the raw material, wood pulp, for the main process. The main process is carried out in a paper-making plant, which produces the final product, sheets of paper.
Then you can write one body paragraph for the raw material processing and another for the main product..