Dear folks,
I am struggling with finishing my motivation letter. I am not sure if it is writen in a correct English. I did my best... but still need your help.This letter is quite long and thank you very much in advance for taking your time to consider it.
All the best. Katie

Dear sirs and madams,

I am A. I am Vietnamese. I have just graduated Master of Science in International Business, concentration finance at Faculty of Economics and Business Administration, After finishing my master’s final thesis, the exciting experiences of doing a research have induced my desire to study further in research field, especially in economic and finance.

I would like first to introduce briefly about myself and my family. I was born in a family where my parents have strong belief that the most important thing their children should prepare themselves for a good future is education. Therefore they always make every effort to support me and my brother with our studies. Though my parents know the importance of having a good education, they have never forced us, me and my brother, to do something which is beyond of our abilities. We have the right to choose what we would like to do and would be able to do and my parents respect our decisions. All my family members, except my mother who was a teacher in physics are financial specialist and accountant. I myself have been a person who likes to work with number since I started at school. I always try my best to be a good student, partly to make my parents proud of me. I was an excellent pupil during 12 years of school, from primary school to high school and I was always at top pupils of school. I was studying in a high school which is only for gifted pupils. I was especially good at mathematics and awarded a 3rd prize at annual city mathematics competition 1998. I got an exceptional right to choose any university without an entrance exam, which is known as the most difficult challenge for all Vietnamese pupils. That exemption was due to my excellent studying result at high school and the excellent result of my final graduation exam from high school with the average of 9.3/10. in , one of the best universities in was my choice to start my professional education.

After two and a half years studying at my university in , I got a chance to study abroad. With one year of being an exchange student in The Netherlands, I got my bachelor in International Business and Management Studies. I still like to work with number like I did in the past, but now in combination with business economics. The idea that I would be able to analyse the financial aspects of a company (with the help of some background information) and draw conclusion about, for example, corporate achievement and the company’s potential, appeals greatly to me. That was the reason I enrolled in the Master of Science in International Business programme at University X, with finance concentration. I have graduated my master programme at University X with a very good result. My final grade point average is 8.1 and an outstanding master thesis which is highly evaluated by supervisors and awarded a grade of 9/10. I am ranked among 10% best students and in recognition of my outstanding study results, I am invited to membership in Beta Gamma Sigma, the honor society for the best students in business programs accredited by AACSB International. Right after my graduation at UM, I decided to take an internship at ABC International B.V, Risk Management Department where I can use my knowledge, especially my research skills in risk modeling and management, in a very relevant practice filed. This working experience partly helps me to realize what I really want do after my graduation, it confirms my interest of doing research.

Moreover, with such a sufficient experience, a good scholar record, and a master degree which is accredited international, I got quite several jobs offering by banks and financial institutions in . By accepting one of those positions, I may have a higher standard life than the average in . However, having a good life for myself was not my ambition. is a developing country and we have been facing plenty of problems when transferring from demand economy to market one. Even though in recent years Vietnam’s economic growth has been ranked second in Asia (at 7 to 8% annually), the average income per person in is still very low (about 550 USD per person per year). In order to open the economic and make people’s lives better, we have to prepare ourselves strong enough and therefore the necessity of having good economics analytical experts is not deniable. I would like to prepare myself well with research capability to contribute the best to the development of my country. Additionally, as I have mentioned, the excellent experiences of doing the research for my master thesis have induced my interest in doing research, especially in economic and financial field. It is my dream to have capability to carry out independent researches in my interesting fields at a PhD position. The Master of Philosophy in Economic and Financial Research programme meets perfectly what I am looking for since it prepares students for PhD positions. Moreover, one year studying in X has given me a very good impression of educational approach which University X is well known for. Therefore I strongly believe that the Master of Philosophy in Economic and Financial Research is the best choice for my further study. Being admitted to the programme is a great pleasure for me and partly makes my dream become true.

Though self-financing my study seems no longer possible, the enthusiastic encouragement of Dr. Y and Dr. Z, my thesis supervisor and second evaluator respectively and my own interest in studying further have convinced me to make every possible effort to pursue my passion of doing research. I was introduced by Professor T, chairman of the finance department at the University, about the availability of some scholarships for young, talented master students at the faculty. One of those scholarships is M scholarship which aims to stimulate talented students from development countries including , to pursue a master programme at the University. With the financial support of M scholarship, I can make my dream completely become true. If I am awarded M scholarship, I will make sure that 100% of my ability will be devoted to follow the programme and to contribute to the excellent reputation of University X and M scholarship as well.

Yours faithfully,

Dear,
Please someone helps me to have a look, the deadline is comming.
Alot of thanks
Katie
Hey Katie,

I'm not that good in the English language.... so don't check my grammer hehe.
maybe i'm wrong, but you wrote a view times.... the word "number" in your
letter...... I think you should be using the word "numbers".....

Like: "I like working with numbers".... that's the only thing I found..

Good luck & be Blessed..

j*P
Site Hint: Check out our list of pronunciation videos.
Hi Katie. I'd like to correct a handful of grammar issues on your letter. But I'm afraid it will be the deadline of your submission Do I still have the chance?

Sincerely,
Floyd