In some countries, more and more adults continue to live with their parents even after they have completed education and found jobs. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?
There are an increasing number of adults who continue their stay in their parents’ house after they have finished their studies and had a job. While I think this trend brings some adverse effects, I believe that the benefits getting from it outweigh the drawbacks.
First, staying with parents will be hard for adults to be more independent as they are likely to rely on their parents’ help as they did in childhood. For example, adults staying with their parents will consider doing dishes, laundry or making up their bed as their parents’ duties, therefore will not do these things on their own. Furthermore, adult’s decision-making skills, which is crucial for their career and life, will be worsened. It can be seen easily (I don’t know how to replace this clause, because I think that it would not be smooth ☹) that parents’ advices on something can indirectly affect their children’s final decisions as it is a mental reassurance for their children. Gradually, adults will not be able to make a decision alone as they are too attached to this reassurance.
However, I am firmly of the opinion that living with parents is beneficial to not only the adults but also their parents. Initially, emotional help is considered as a very important merit of staying with parents. For instance, adults tend to be under a lot of stress because of problems they have at work or daily life. Having meals with their parents and having some conversations can be a really good remedy. For the reason that, parents can be easily sympathetic with their children and be able to give some solutions based on their invaluable experiences. Moreover, parents will be taken care of better when they have their children around, especially in developing countries where the facilities for the elderly is not available
In conclusion, although staying with parents is likely to adversely affect adults’ ability to be independent, I think that the emotional help together with a better care of parents is a significant benefit of it, which outweighs the disadvantages.
P/s: i really stuggle with this essay, because I actually think the advantages and disadvantages are equal but the essay is about Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?. And also I try to write only two reasons in each body paragraph but the word count is 325, I don't really know what the reason is. Thank you in advance
aqua modern 409P/s: i really stuggle with this essay, because I actually think the advantages and disadvantages are equal but the essay is about Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?. And also I try to write only two reasons in each body paragraph but the word count is 325, I don't really know what the reason is. Thank you in advance
You need to understand that these tasks are not really asking for your opinion. The examiners do not care about what your opinion is, only that you can write about it effectively. None of the score pertains to the information content. However, if your content is offensive, that may lower your score.
What the test is about is to demonstrate your ability to communicate clearly in writing.
There are four components to your score:
1. Task response: Did you focus on the topic? Did you answer the prompt or prompts clearly? Is the content sensible and understandable?
2. Cohesion and coherence: How well organized is the essay? How logical are the transitions from one idea to the next? Is there a lot of redundancy and repetition? Is there a seamless progression from the start to the finish?
3. Lexical resource: Is the vocabulary used naturally and accurately? Are there a lot of repeated words, where good synonyms or alternate expressions exist?
4. Grammatical range and accuracy: Is there a variety of sentence structures? Are there grammatical errors that interfere with the reader's understanding? Do the sentence seem to be memorized?
Your word count is high because your writing style is verbose. You can write the same ideas in many fewer words. If you believe the benefits are stronger, make the "advantages" paragraph a little longer than the "disadvantages" paragraph.
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There are an increasing number of adults who continue live with their stay in their parents’ house after starting their careers. they have finished their studies and had a job. While I think this trend brings some adverse effects, I believe that the benefits getting from it outweigh the drawbacks.
First, staying with parents will be hard for adults to be more become independent as they will are likely to rely on their parents’ help as they did in childhood. For example, they adults staying with their parents will consider doing dishes, laundry or making up their bed as their parents’ duties, and therefore will not do these things on their own. Furthermore, adult’s their decision-making skills will not develop, since they can depend on their parents to make choices for them. , which is crucial for their career and life, will be worsened. It can be seen easily (I don’t know how to replace this clause, because I think that it would not be smooth ☹) that parents’ advices on something can indirectly affect their children’s final decisions as it is a mental reassurance for their children. Gradually, adults will not be able to make a decision alone as they are too attached to this reassurance.
However, I am firmly of the opinion that (Do not write your opinion in the body paragraphs.) living with parents is beneficial to everyone. not only the adults but also their parents. Initially, emotional help is considered as a very important merit (wrong word) benefit of staying with parents. For instance, adults tend to be sometimes are under a lot of stress because of problems they have at work or daily life. Having meals with their parents and having a sounding board for these concerns having some conversations can be a really good remedy. For the reason that, parents can be easily sympathetic with their children and be able to give some solutions based on their invaluable experiences. Moreover, parents will be taken care of better when they have their children around, especially in developing countries where the facilities for the elderly is not available
In conclusion, although staying with parents is likely to adversely affect adults’ ability to be independent, I think that the emotional help together with a better care of parents is such a significant benefit that the disadvantages are small in comparison. of it, which outweighs the disadvantages.
Vocabulary:
sounding board: https://www.macmillandictionary.com/dictionary/american/sounding-board
synonym: (lend) a sympathetic ear
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Omg, thank you for your help, I'll try my best, and I'm gonna take the test next week 
(. I hope I can make it
(. I hope I can make itWhat is your target band score?
I just aim 6 for writing. And i hope 7 overall
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