The bar graph demonstrates the employment rate of men and women in Chile, South Africa, Finland, and Norway in 2002.

As can be seen from the graph, the proportions of men in work are higher than women in all four countries. Equally noticeable was that the gaps between the employment rates of the two genders in Norway and Finland were relatively small, while there was more of a difference in Chile and South Africa, where only roughly one-third of women had jobs.

Looking closer at the graph, one can see that Norway had the highest percentage of employed men, eighty percent. Chile and Finland followed closely, at roughly seventy percent. South Africa had a remarkable lower rate; only fifty percent of men in that country were employed.

As for the other gender, Norway also had the highest employment figure for women, over seventy percent, approximately twice as high as Chile and South Africa. Also noticeable was that the percentages of employed men and women in Finland were nearly the same.

The bar graph demonstrates [ 1] shows/compares the employment rates of men and women in five countries: Chile, South Africa, Finland, and Norway in the year 2002.

[ 2] As can be seen from the graph, Overall, the proportions of men in work are higher than [ 3] those of women in all four countries, with Norway and Finland having the smallest gaps, and Chile and South Africa having the highest. Equally noticeable was that the gaps between the employment rates of the two genders in Norway and Finland were relatively small, while there was more of a difference in Chile and South Africa, where only roughly [ 4] one-third of women had jobs.

[ 2] Looking closer at the graph, one can see that Norway had the highest percentage of employed men, 80%. [ 5] eighty percent. Chile and Finland followed closely, at roughly 70%, but seventy percent. South Africa had a [ 6] remarkably/much lower rate; only fifty percent 50% of men in that country were employed.

As for women, the other gender, Norway also had the highest employment figure, for women, over 70%, seventy percent, approximately twice as high as [ 3] the equivalents for Chile and South Africa. Finally in Finland, the proportion of women who were in employment in that country in 2002 was approximately 65%. Also noticeable was It is also noteworthy that the percentages of employed men and women in Finland were nearly the same.

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[ 1]: “demonstrate” is not an exact synonym of “show”.

[ 2]: Avoid fillers in task 1 (unless you are short on words).

[ 3]: Note the correct comparison structures.

[ 4]: The details go in the subsequent paragraphs, not in the overall statement.

[ 5]: Do not use words for percentages.

[ 6]: We need an adverb (remarkably/much) to modify an adjective (lower).

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