Crime is a hot potato in today’s life, as there are millions of crime incidents being committed each day. The common penalty is being imprisoned, yet the criminals still have chances to reintegrate into the community. However, some individuals assume that a person who has committed crime can’t change his traits, and he will remain as a criminal. Personally, I totally disagree with this point of view, as everybody deserves a second chance.
Initially, crime is led to by myriad reasons. Though, the most significant one is the impoverishment made by capitalism. Poor living conditions is often the factor that blurs mankind’s virtue, which leads to crimes like thieving, pick-pocketing, burglaring,... These cases should be consoled and sympathized, not to be isolated just because of their mistakes. The conception of asserting individuals who once commit crime will stay unchanged might lead to the divergence of the society, and probably inflame the anger of the underprivileged. For example, renowned sportsmen are known to have been criminal, such as Zlatan Ibrahimovic, or Ribery. These people are now the patrons of many charities and social activities, directly helping to advance sentimental values of the community.
Being imprisoned also contributes a positive effect on the criminals. During the time of conducting the penalization, individuals are able to develop specific skills, which will help them to rejoin the workforce. Moreover, this creates a chance for them to rectify their mistakes, modify their moral values and no longer be susceptible beyond harsh circumstances. Things that prisoners learn in advance will help them not to deviate from the honest living path, and live with appropriate social norms. Hence, society will have a supplement of quality manpower, which will incentivize development in various fields.
In conclusion, people who, unfortunately, break the law, mustn’t be considered as criminals for goods. Everyone deserves a second chance, and so are they.
Since the start of COVID-19, online learning has been adapted as an alternative for the conventional method, due to the lockdown. Hence, these learning programs have been used worldwide and acknowledged as effective. However, it now confronts some sceptics who are not likely to have preference for it over courses taken at college or university in person. Personally, I totally disagree with the assertion that courses taken at a college or university are more superior than the online ones.
There is no doubt that online courses offer students and learners with myriad benefits. Firstly, they are enable to have more flexible schedule. Due to the fact that learners are no longer have to commute to colleges or schools, they can take advantage of those spare time by allocating them on other stuffs. Moreover, there are various lectures so that learners can study anywhere and anytime. For example, beside online classes like Zoom, Google Meets,.. many materials and references are available and accessible for us to acquire.
Learning online are also economical. Online classes often requires less tuitions, but offers the same quality. Only a digital device, a stable Internet connection are demanded so that your learning process do not get interrupted. Nevertheless, in order to have access to quality, advanced sources of knowledge, we often have to pay proportionally. Therefore, we can broaden our knowledge and get high scores - which contributes greatly to our academic performance.
In conclusion, conventional classes are likely to be overtaken, as online learning is become more and more prevalent thanks to its enormous advantages.
Please do not put the essay instructions in the "Subject" line.
Put it with your answer in the message body.
Subject: Please review my IELTS essay
Message body:
Topic: Copy the essay instructions accurately here.
My essay:
(Your text here...)
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You wrote almost 400 words. The minimum is 250. You will not lose points for writing more; however, longer essays generally do not get high band scores. And there are many reasons for this.
First, the longer the essay, the more chances you have to make errors, and you will lose points for each of those errors.
Second, your writing may be repetitious and wordy. This will cost you points in task response or coherence and cohesion.
Third, you will likely stray off-topic, and examiners will deduct points if you are not focused on the topic. Do not write about things that are not specifically given in the task. You will also be tempted to use weak or unsound arguments or even lose your direction and contradict yourself. Develop just two or three argument points with examples and personal experiences. It is much better to have two well-developed and fleshed-out argument points than to have four which are just individual separate statements.
Fourth, you will spend a lot of time writing, and not have sufficient time left over to proofread your essay. You will miss the silly mistakes, which everyone makes, and that lowers your score.
Fifth, pity the examiners who have to read all the IELTS essays individually. There are hundreds of them. If they read your long essay when they are tired at the end of the day, they will score extra hard and not be very generous when scoring.
Sixth, you will not have enough time for Task 1, and get a lower score there. You should allow 40 minutes for task and 20 minutes for Task 1. The word counts are designed so that you have ample time for brainstorming and then writing the two parts.
Aim to write 270-300 words for Task 2. Practice writing a lot of essays so you get a feeling for the length.
You can use this word counter:
https://www.ieltsscore.com/word-counter/
Crime is a hot potato (That is too informal. It is not used correctly, either. Do not use idioms unless you are sure that it is proper in the context. ) very common today in today’s life, (unnatural expression) as there are millions of crimes incidents (Wrong expression. You can use "incidents of crime" but not "crime incidents". ) being committed each day. The common penalty is being imprisoned, yet the criminals still have chances to reintegrate into the community after they have served their time. However, some individuals assume that a person who has committed crime can’t (Do not use contractions in formal writing.) change his ways traits, (Wrong word. ) and he will remain as a criminal. Personally, I totally disagree with this point of view, as everybody deserves a second chance.
Initially, People commit crimes for a variety of crime is led to (poor English) by myriad (Wrong word. wrong usage. Myriad is not an adjective. .) reasons. Though, the most significant one is the impoverishment. made by capitalism. Poor living conditions is (Wrong form - You have a plural subject. ) often the factor that blurs mankind’s virtue, (??? Delete. It is not good English.) which leads to crimes like thieving, pick-pocketing, burglaring,... (Do not use "..." or "etc." or "and so on" in formal writing.) These cases (Wrong word. ) people should be consoled and sympathized with, not to be isolated in jail cells just because of their mistakes. The conception (Wrong word. ) of asserting assertion that individuals who once commit crime will continue to do so stay unchanged might lead to the divergence of the society, (I do not know what that means.) gross discrimination against the poor and probably inflame the anger of the underprivileged. (Poor coherence and cohesion. These are not examples of revolutionaries and angry people. You need to put your example in the correct place in your text for a smooth flow of ideas.) For example, renowned sportsmen are known to have been criminal, such as Zlatan Ibrahimovic, or Ribery (Franck Ribery was not a criminal). These people are now the patrons of many charities and social activities, directly helping to advance sentimental (Wrong word. ) values of the community.
Being imprisoned also contributes (Wrong word. ) can have a positive effect on the criminals. During the time they are incarcerated / in prison, of conducting the penalization, (poor English) they individuals are able to develop specific skills, (no comma) which will help them to rejoin the workforce. Moreover, this creates a chance for them to rectify their mistakes, modify their adopt moral values and no longer be tempted to rob or steal. susceptible beyond harsh circumstances. (That does not make sense) Things that prisoners learn in jail advance will help them not to deviate from making an honest living. the honest living path, and become an upstanding citizen. They can be role models for the youth, teaching them not to fall into a life of crime. live with appropriate social norms. Hence, society will be safer with fewer criminals to deal with. have a supplement of quality manpower, (poor English) which will incentivize development in various fields. (That is not logical..)
In conclusion, people who, unfortunately, break the law, mustn’t be considered as criminals for goods. (Wrong word. Goods are consumer items.) Everyone deserves a second chance, and so are (Wrong word. ) do they.
Thanks a lot for your helpful instructions !!